09 March 2012

Coronal Mass Ejaculation

In the last day or so there has been a very large sun spot called "active region 1429" that is producing a coronal mass ejection (CME). It is sending out all kinds of energy waves from the Sun directly towards the Earth. I am not too worried about it because I have so many other things to worry about right now and the first one on the priority list is the usual "What's for dinner?".

Nevertheless I decided to have some fun and this morning I fashioned a solar protection helmet for myself out of aluminum foil in the style of the hat worn by Jughead in the Archie comics. I put it on before I left the house and when my wife saw it she looked very worried and asked me what the heck it was. I told her about the solar flare and that I was wearing the helmet for protection against brain damage. She said that it was probably too late and that I looked so stupid in the hat that probably my brain was already damaged. I put on a very stern face and told her that I was serious. Then she asked me if I had made one for her too and I told her that unfortunately I had already used up all of the aluminum foil (which was true). Then she asked me what she was supposed to do and I suggested that when she went out that all she needed to do was wear an aluminum pot over her head and then I kissed her quickly and ran out the door. I was laughing so hard that I could hardly drive the car.

When I got to work the shop dogs took one look at me and started barking like I was some kind of Martian or something. The people in my office said that I was nuts but I made up some bogus physics and my story improved with each telling. One person asked me how I knew when the solar rays were beaming down and I said that when I am wearing the hat in the presence of harmful solar radiation I can hear our local radio station XEWE Irapuato AM 1420 ("La Estación Familiar"). I had some of them half convinced but when my boss saw me he knew exactly what I was doing because he is a jolly joker himself and we had a wonderful time laughing about it. There is just nothing like a good belly laugh, especially when you have the belly for it. My friend Luis said that I looked just like a little kid. Yup...and that is just how I felt!

When you leave the house tomorrow don't forget your hat!


Barb said...

omgosh. That's hilarious!

Dwilson540 said...

So where's the photo? Good story Bob

Bob Mrotek said...

I just knew that YOU would appreciate it :)

I am ugly enough without the solar helmet. I will just leave it to your imagination :)

norm said...

There is a theory out there that the mass extinctions that happen every 500 million years on out planet may be tied to plasma being expelled by the sun. The funny part is the odds of a plasma glob hitting the earth are about one in 500 million-go figure...

Bob Mrotek said...

If you haven't already I think you might enjoy reading: The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable: by Nassim Taleb
ISBN-10: 081297381X
ISBN-13: 978-0812973815

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I was born and raised in Chicago, Illinois, U.S.A. I have been living in Mexico since January 6th, 1999. I am continually studying to improve my knowledge of the Spanish language and Mexican history and culture. I am also a student of Mandarin Chinese.