18 August 2008

Priest shortage in Mexico

I read a very interesting article in the paper that said that Mexico has one priest on average for every 8,088 parishioners but Italy has one priest for every 500 parishioners. Some places in Mexico have a better ratio than 1 : 8088, especially in wealthy areas, but other places like Garcia, Nuevo León where I once lived have only two priests to cover a parish of 383 square miles and several towns and villages. There the ratio is more like one priest to every 20,000 people. Hey folks, something is wrong here. I think the Pope should call all those Italian priests together and say something like:

"Look here boys, some of you need to stop waiting around to see if someday you too can be the Pope and get off your duffs and go about doing the Lord's work over there in Mexico and give those Mexican padres a hand. Let's see...I tell ya'll what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna grant a special dispensation to each and every one of you who volunteer to go over there and save some souls for El Señor (that's what they call the Lord in Mexico). It won't be such a bad deal either. The language is very similar to bad Italian and the people look about the same as most of ya'll. The food is pretty good but I'd be a little particular about the water if I were you. Ya'll won't need to take much with you. Our Lord said to take nothing with you but a walking staff and to obtain sustenance from those to whom you preach the word. Now, seeing how difficult it is to take a walking staff through airport security these days or fit a walking staff in an air plane overhead compartment we are going to give each of you twenty bucks in addition to your air fare. If you don't blow the twenty on airport hot dogs and things like that you will have plenty of money to buy yourself a good walking staff in Mexico. Don't forget to write us a letter every now and then and especially don't forget about Peter's Pence, eh. The heck with all those the coins in the collection basket. Concentrate on the folding money. It wouldn't be a bad idea to call your mother before you go also and let her know what is going on. I don't want to be flooded with calls from irate Catholic mothers. Just tell them that a little foreign service will look good on your resume when you are considered for canonization later on. I think they'll buy that. Oh, yes, and if any of you should run into Father Guido Banducci tell him to call me collect. We need to talk. For your convenience I have already posted a list of names of those who are expected to volunteer. Are there any questions...? Yes Father Pascuali? You say that Father Banducci might be teaching at a junior high school in some suburb of Chicago, Illinois? Hmmm, let me check the Vatican computer. Nah, that's 'Three Fingers' Banducci the shop teacher. He ain't the same guy. No more questions? Okay boys, let's hit the road. Oh, yeah, I almost forgot, before you leave you may want to come up here and kiss my...ring."

Yeah, well, I guess that's why I'd probably never get picked to be the Pope, right?


YayaOrchid said...

Well those numbers do point to a disparate proportion, so why is there no accountability? Who makes the decisions regarding 'manpower' assignments? The vatican? Is it because Mexico's parishes bring in very little revenue? Hmmm.....

Anonymous said...

I don't know the answer Yaya. Like many things regarding the church it's a mystery :)

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I was born and raised in Chicago, Illinois, U.S.A. I have been living in Mexico since January 6th, 1999. I am continually studying to improve my knowledge of the Spanish language and Mexican history and culture. I am also a student of Mandarin Chinese.