Fighting contagion

I read an article the other day about some psychologists who had been studying the phenomena of loneliness, fear, worry, and negativity in general and had postulated a theory that these states of mind might be contagious. In fact they claim that these things might be far more contagious than the H1N1 influenza. Perhaps this isn't as far out as it may seem. Didn't President Roosevelt warn us that we have nothing to fear but fear itself? Right now there is a lot of fear, loneliness, and worry among people all over the world and especially in America. We Americans are a worrying people. The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the economic recession, the national debt, the falling dollar, the flu virus, the corruption scandals, the collapse of General Motors, rising unemployment, the mortgage crisis, the piracy on the high seas, the senseless murders of innocent people, and to top it all off, the constant name calling and backbiting in Congress, have cast a pall of gloom and doom over Americans everywhere, even some of the lucky ones who live here in Mexico. It's as if we were all singing that song "Gloom, despair, and agony on me" by Buck Owens and Roy Clark from the old TV Show "Hee-Haw" (1969 -1992). Remember?

Gloom, despair, and agony on me. Deep, dark depression, excessive misery. If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all, Gloom, despair, and agony on me.

The situation is no doubt magnified by the fact that it is the month of December already and the Christmas Holiday Season is almost upon us when one's thoughts naturally turn to home...and the "home" that I am talking about is the one that you lived in when you were a little kid. I still miss it. I remember one December when I was about eight years, old I began to question the tradition of Santa Claus and so being the curious kid that I was (and still am) I decided to put him to the test. We had learned in school about Saint Nicholas, the ancient Bishop of Myra, and how the children of the Netherlands put out their shoes on the night before the feast day of St. Nicholas which is on December 6th. If they were good little girls and boys they could expect Black Peter, St. Nicholas's helper, to leave some goodies in their shoes. I thought, "Hmm, if this is really true and Santa Claus (or Sinterklaas as he is known in Dutch) is the genuine article, then according to my youthful calculations, it being December 5th, if we put out our shoes out on the back porch we ought to get some goodies". I then gathered my younger brother and sisters together and explained the proposition and I had them gather up their spare shoes and we all headed for the back porch. My mother had heard us talking and as we marched past her in single file and with great solemnity I glanced at her out of the corner of my eye and wondered from the way that she looked if she might be ill. Well, the way things turned out when we checked our shoes in the morning we found that the goodies were there sure enough and it was a long time after that before I doubted Santa Claus again.

Years later my mother reminded me of this and told me that on that night her first urge was to send me packing but she couldn't think of anyone who would take in such a little stinker like me. After we had gone to bed she put on her coat and ran down to the corner "Mom and Pop" delicatessen or what we called a "candy store" in those days and bought some cheap little toys and some comic books, coloring books, crayons, and candy and hurried back very frustrated that she was spending her grocery money on a persona as unexpected as St. Nicholas was on that particular night. She really didn't have to do it, but after all my Ma was (is) a saint, and she had to protect the spirit of Santa Claus because as you may or may not know, saints always stick together and look out for each other.

On the eve of another St. Nicholas day I think it is time that we remind ourselves that America is a great country and as they say in Mexico, "La situación no es para tanto", or "The situation isn't as bad as it seems". My Mexican friends all tell me, "No te preocupes, amigo"..."Don't worry about it my friend". Perhaps that is good advice. They never seem to worry so why, oh why, should I? I think what we as Americans need is a new rallying cry. At Cape Canaveral, Florida, on the Apollo One commemorative plaque at launch complex 34, there is a Latin motto that says, "Ad astra per aspera"..."To the stars through difficulties". Apollo One, as you may remember, is the Apollo mission that never got off the ground. It was consumed by fire on the launch pad on January 27, 1967, and as a result astronauts Gus Grissom, Ed White, and Roger Chaffee lost their lives. That's what Americans need to be thinking right now, no...not about dying and not about actually going to the Moon again but about rising above our difficulties and reaching once again for the stars. We eventually made it to the Moon and we will eventually go back and we will eventually be at peace and economically solvent again and the sooner we stop crying and get on with it, the faster we will get there.

There is another thing that we sometimes lose sight of and that is the spiritual aspect. Have you noticed that in Mexico even the Devil has a part in Christmas? In almost every traditional manger scene you will find the Devil hiding in the background and observing. In all of the traditional "Pastorelas" you will find the Devil, usually trying to lead the poor shepherds astray on their way to worship the Christ child. Yes, the Devil is alive and well and he loves Christmas more than anyone else but for different purposes. He knows that through his artful manipulations he can make people miserable and lonely, and fearful and worried. How do I know that there is a Devil? Just look around you. How could "natural selection" alone be the cause for so much evil in the world? Yes, animals kill each other for food, but only human beings, kill, and maim, and rape, and terrorize, just for the fun of it...and the Devil helps them do it!

I have a suggestion. This Christmas season why don't we keep it simple. Let's forget about all of the rushing around and glitz and glitter and let's concentrate on lifting each other's spirits. Let's "get a grip" as they say and brighten things up with a smile. Put those negative thoughts on hold. At least for a little while let's stop all the griping and look for a little good among the bad. Let's get behind our presidents both in Mexico and the United States and use the power of what Carl Jung, the famous Swiss psychiatrist, called the "collective unconscious" ( or collective subconscious) to help them fend off the Devil. Remember, Satan was around at the beginning of time on Earth. He was there in the desert with the Israelites and he was not only present at the birth of Jesus, but he was with Jesus every step of the way to the cross, trying to make Him feel loneliness, fear, and worry. Jesus didn't let it happen to Him and neither should we. Like my Ma who is now in Heaven always said..."Onward ever, backward NEVER!"

Adviento del Año 2009

Now that Thanksgiving and November, "el mes de ánimas" (the month of remembering the faithful departed), are behind us we look forward to celebrating the the birth of the Messiah and the Christmas season. In Mexico, “La Navidad” begins with “El Adviento” (Advent) and the season runs all the way to February 2nd , “La Fiesta de Candelaria”. In English we call February 2nd by various names; Candlemas Day, the Feast of the Purification of the Virgin, or the Feast of the Presentation of Jesus at the Temple. The February 2nd date is also known secularly in the U.S. as “Groundhog Day”. In any case, it is a long stretch from the beginning of December to the beginning of February when the Christmas decorations are finally taken down and the Christ child is removed from the manger, given new clothing, and put away until the next year. The Mexican people, like many people everywhere, enjoy Christmas more than any other time of the year.

The English word "advent", or in Spanish, "adviento", comes from the Latin word "adventus", which in itself is a translation of the Greek word "parousia", which is a reference to the Second Coming. Christians believe that the season of Advent serves a dual reminder of the original waiting that was done by the Hebrews for the birth of their Messiah as well as the waiting that Christians currently do in expectation of the Second Coming of Christ. For that reason and because of the ritual of lighting the advent candles there is something tugging at my heart that says perhaps we should also celebrate Hanukkah (Chanukah ), the Jewish festival of lights, in tandem with our Jewish brethren. After all, we share the same Old Testament. The Jewish festival tradition incorporates a nine branched candelabra called a "menorah" and commemorates the re-dedication of the Second Temple in Jerusalem and the miracle of the lamps burning for eight nights with very little oil. The Hanukkah festival lasts for eight nights and a new candle on the menorah is lit on each successive night. The ninth candle on the menorah, is called the “shamash” candle and it is used for the lighting of the other eight candles. I thought that it might be "apropos" if Hanukkah would start on December 16th or 17th at the same time as the Mexican Posada season gets under way and both celebrations would conclude on December 24th. However, The Jewish festivals are based upon the lunar calendar and Hanukkah moves around quite a bit. The first night of Hanukkah won't fall on December 17th until the year 2014 and after that it will be quite a long spell before it repeats.

Now...before anyone from either side accuses me of blasphemy I can assure you that this is just a fanciful dream of mine and as we witness so many religious conflicts unfold around the world I realize more and more that it seems to be the tendency of organized religion to drive people apart and not bring them together. The first day of Hanukkah in 2009 is on Saturday December 12, meaning the first candle is lit on Friday night December 11. The Hanukkah holiday runs 8 days through December 19, 2009. This year the first day of Hanukka falls on the feast day of La Virgen de Guadalupe, a major holiday in Mexico for Mexicans whether they are Catholics, or Christians, or Jews or Atheists or "whatever". La Virgen de Guadalupe is a national symbol that unites all Mexicans. She is the heart and soul of Mexico.

Technically, the Christian Advent begins with the Sunday nearest to the feast of St. Andrew the Apostle which is November 30th and covers four Sundays, lasting until midnight on Christmas Eve. The first Sunday may be as early as November 27th, and in that case Advent has twenty-eight days. In some years the first Sunday may be as late as December 3rd giving the season only twenty-one days. This year, 2009, Advent begins on Sunday, November 29th and Advent has twenty-six days. My wife Gina made her her “Corona de Adviento” or “Advent Wreath” this evening and you can see it in the picture below. Gina's “Corona de Adviento” has the traditional five candles, three violet, one rose, and one white. The first two violet candles are lit in succession on the first and second Sunday and on the third Sunday they are joined by the rose candle and this Sunday is called “Gaudete Sunday” and marks more or less the halfway point of Advent. The word “Gaudete” comes from Latin and means to rejoice. On this Sunday the joy of expectation is emphasized. The nine days of the Mexican Posadas generally begin around this time also. On the fourth Sunday, the last violet candle is lit and the white candle in the center is lit on Christmas Eve after sundown. Oh-oh, by now some of you may have realized that the three candles on Gina's wreath that are supposed to be violet are red and not violet. That is because just like last year, at the last minute we couldn't find any violet candles. However, I don't think using red Advent candles instead of violet ones will add much to our time in Purgatory. Next year I must remember to plan ahead.

I know that since Advent starts today I should have reminded you about it about a week ago but I forgot. That's okay... it's not too late. If you don't start your Advent prayers on the first day the sun won't fall from the sky. Even if you are a day or two late I am sure that the Lord will be happy to hear from you. We invite you to join us in celebrating Advent. Just like we do every year, here are the same scripture verses that we will concentrate on for each of the four Sundays and Christmas Eve:

First Sunday of Advent
Isaiah 11:1-10
Luke: 1:26-38
Isaiah 7:10-14
Matthew 1:18-24

Second Sunday of Advent
Micah 5:2
Matthew 2:1-2, 9-11
Isaiah 2:1-5
Matthew 3:1-6

Third Sunday of Advent
Isaiah 9:6-7
John 1:19-34
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Philippians 2:1-11

Fourth Sunday of Advent
Malachi 3:1-5
Romans 8:18-25
Isaiah 52:7-10
Revelation 21:1-4

Christmas Eve
Isaiah 9:1-6
Luke 2:1-20
John 1:1-18
Titus 2:11-14

You can find plenty of scripts and fancy prayers to go along with the scripture reading and the lighting of the candles on the Internet but I suggest that you do what we do and just “wing it”. God will understand, and anyway, I don't think He is impressed with our words. He is looking to see what we have in our hearts.

Everybody say Amen!

Las Tres Crudas

The number three is a very illustrious number. A set of three is called a "ternion", "triad", trio, or "ternary", In ancient times the the lower division of the seven liberal arts was comprised of grammar, rhetoric, and logic and it was called a "trivium". A ruling group of three leaders is called a "triumvirate. A set of three horses driven abreast is called a "troika". A set of three animals such as dogs or cats is called a "leash". The Holy Trinity, of course, is the most prominent threesome and the most iconic set of three is no doubt the three crosses on Calvary. There were three Magi who visited the Christ Child...Caspar, Melchior and Balthasar (Gaspar, Melchor, Baltasar en Español) and they brought three gifts, Gold, Frankincense, and Myrrh (Oro, Incienso, y Mirra). Then you have the three ships of Christopher Columbus (Cristóbal Colón), la Niña, La Pinta, y La Santa María. Next come Athos, Porthos, and Aramis, the Three Musketeers. After that we have Chico, Harpo, and Groucho, the main Marx brothers, and then the Gabor sisters, Magda, Zsa Zsa, and Eva, and then come Manny, Moe, and Jack, the three "Pep Boys", and before I really get carried away I'll just stop and let you think of some more.

In Mexico there is a special set of three called "Las Tres Crudas" and it is very important that you avoid them at all costs, especially during the coming holiday season. The Spanish word "cruda" (ending in the letter "a") in Mexico means "hangover" in English. If you are a male and you want to say "I have a hangover" in Spanish you would say, "Tengo crudo" (ending in "o") but if you are a woman you would say "Tengo cruda". An alcoholic hangover is not the only type of cruda, however. There are two more types of "hangover" and along with the alcoholic hangover they form "las tres crudas". The second cruda is the "cruda de realidad" or the "reality hangover". For example, a person can be very troubled about a number of problems including money problems and to get away from the problems they go on vacation to a resort and pretend that everything is okay and spend a lot of money on credit cards when they really can't afford it. They have a good time but when they come back from vacation they wake up to the fact that the their troubles haven't gone away and now they are even deeper in debt. The cruda de realidad is a hard one to shake.

The third cruda is the "cruda moral" or "hangover of conscience". This is where one person has been very hard on another person or has lied to them, or has cheated someone, or physically hurt someone, or has damaged the reputation of another, and after the fact is being tormented by regret, and suffering the consequences. The first cruda that I mentioned, the alcoholic cruda, is the easiest to cure. You can cure that by taking aspirin, drinking lots of water, and sleeping it off. The other two are more serious though and can take a lot of time to deal with. If you happen to have all three crudas at the same time you are in really bad shape and only Heaven can help you. That's when the best cure is to get down on your knees and ask for Our Lord's help and forgiveness. I hope and pray that none of you who read this have trouble with crudas of any kind. Enjoy the holiday season but be careful...even at Christmas time it's a jungle out there!

It's a jungle out there,
Disorder and confusion everywhere.
No one seems to care,
Well I do.
Hey, who's in charge here?
It's a jungle out there,
Poison in the very air we breathe.
Do you know what's in the water that you drink?
Well I do, and it's amazing.
People think I'm crazy, 'cause I worry all the time,
If you paid attention, you'd be worried too.
You better pay attention,
Or this world we love so much,
Might...just... kill...you.
I could be wrong now, but I don't think so!
'Cause there's a jungle out there.
It's a jungle out there.
(song by Randy Newman)

Beer dancing...

Mexico is truly beer country as anyone who has ever been here knows. There are two main brewing companies. One is Cervecería Cuauhtémoc Moctezuma and the other is Grupo Modelo. The Cervecería Cuauhtémoc Moctezuma makes Carta Blanca, Sol, Indio, Bohemia, Superior, Dos Equis, Tecate, and also Noche Buena which we only see at Christmas time. Grupo Modelo makes Corona Extra, Corona Light, Victoria, Pacífico, Pacifico Light, Negra Modelo, Modelo Especial, Modelo Light, Estrella, León, Montejo, Barrilito, and Tropical Light. That ought to be enough of a selection for anybody. I hardly ever drink beer anymore although I must confess that when I was younger, my Air Force buddies and I probably drank enough beer to fill an Olympic size swimming pool. My wife Gina and her mother Carmelita like to drink a beer or two now and then, especially when there is a fiesta. Gina is such a small gal that two beers in succession is enough to make her quite quite happy and inclined to want to dance. This is where the "beer dancing" comes in.

There is a phrase in Mexican Spanish that goes "bailando de carton de cerveza" or "dancing like a case of beer". You might think that this has something to do with dancing while inebriated but it doesn't (at least not exactly). You need to picture in your mind a guy who is carrying a case of beer. His arms are held parallel straight down in front of him and his elbows are locked. His head is inclined forward and his chin is down. His hands are turned inward at a sharp angle so that the palms and fingers support the carton which rests across his thighs. Now picture this same guy without the case of beer. There is some slow, romantic music playing and the lights are low. It is late in the evening and everyone is feeling quite "happy". His wife or his girlfriend has slipped her arms around his neck and drawn his head down close to hers and whispers in his ear, "Pápi, vamos a bailar de carton de cerveza" (Daddy let's dance really close and sexy). So then he puts his arms around her and slides both of his hands down past her hips and with his hands he grabs her "pompis" (buttocks) just like he was carrying a case of beer and off they go swaying to the music. THAT is what it means to "bailar de cartón de cerveza" or "bailar de cartoncito". Most often it is something that the young people do and when an older couple dances that way it can either be quite funny or quite scandalous.

There is one thing for sure though. If you are ever at a party and some guy starts dancing like that with a woman who is someone else's wife or girlfriend then you should grab your date and start for the door because the party will soon break up and when the music stops the fight will begin. There is a government sponsored campaign whose slogan is "Bebe con moderación" (Drink with moderation). Perhaps they ought to add, "y baile con moderación también" (And dance with moderation also).

Don't get snoody!

I am finding it a bit hard to get into the Thanksgiving Holiday mood. Tomorrow is just another work day for me and since my wife Gina has English classes after work on Tuesday and Thursday evenings , I will be coming home to an empty house. I will probably end up having turkey hot dogs with all the trimmings like mustard, ketchup, pickle relish, and chopped onion. Mmmmm...good! I am still very thankful though. Our Lord has been very kind to me and my family and my hope and prayer is that others less fortunate than we are can receive the same blessings that we have received. Besides, my hot dogs will probably be much better than the cold rations that some our servicemen and women will be eating and if I could, I would trade places with them so that they could have Thanksgiving dinner with their families.

Speaking of turkeys, I was thinking about them today and about how ugly they really look. Have you ever studied one up close? They sure taste a lot better than they look. The head is the ugliest part. On the top of the head is a rough red cap called a "caruncle" (not carbuncle). Under the turkey's beak there is a lot of loose red skin called a "wattle". The weirdest part, however, is the long worm-like appendage that hangs down over the turkey's beak from the forehead. It is called a "snood" in English. A snood is also a hairnet that women who worked in the factories in World War II liked to wear on the back of their heads to protect their hair from getting tangled in machinery. I think the look is even coming back in style these days. If you think about it, a turkey snood and a hairnet snood have a similar shape. The difference is that the snood of a turkey hangs down in front and the hairnet snood that women wear hangs down in back. You can compare the two in the pictures below.

In Mexico, the snood of a turkey is called a "moco". The word "moco" is also used to describe "mucous" or "snot". If you study it closely the turkey snood does look a bit like snot hanging down. Phlegm is called "moco mojado" and a booger is called "moco seco". If your friend says to you ""Límpiate el moco" it means to wipe the snot away from your nose. The doctor might ask you, "¿Tienes tos seca o con moco?" or in other words "Do you have a dry cough or with phlegm?". To pick one's nose (in case you wanted to know) is "sacarse un moco". The phrase "llorando a moco tendido" means "to cry one's eyes out" as in "Me puse a llorar a moco tendido" (I began to cry uncontrollably). I think you get the idea.

I have coined my own phrase involving the word "moco". When I first came to Mexico to help companies obtain their railroad industry quality assurance certifications, I was stressing the need for objective evidence to insure that the work was being done properly. I wanted to see the original work orders and inspection reports that were filled in by the workers and signed off by the inspectors and I wanted the "moco papers" to be included in the office files. I wouldn't approve of any work that was done until I could see the "moco papers". What is a moco paper? It is a work order or inspection report that goes out to the job site to document the work and stays with the job as long as it takes. In the meantime it is handled by many people and receives coffee stains, finger prints, cigarette burns, blood smears, sweat stains, wrinkles, ink smudges from rain drops, moco (yuck!), and enough other wear and tear that you can be certain that it is objective evidence of the work being done. It is a lot more credible than a file cabinet full of lily white forms filled out identically in girlie cursive by the secretary and smelling of her favorite perfume. You can't fake a moco paper no matter how you try. It is the genuine article. It always tells the truth. It is were the wheels meet the rails. I just love moco papers!

Well, that's enough moco for now. Have a Happy Thanksgiving and please remember me in your prayers. I will do the same for all of you.

An unexpected delight...

This morning when I got to work the gatekeeper asked me for a favor. His name is Alejandro and he lives in the nearby rancho named San Antonio El Chico which we affectionately call San Antonito. He said that his daughter was involved in a school project and asked me if I wouldn't mind being interviewed by her for her English class. He said that it would only take a few minutes and she could come by late in the afternoon. I waved my hand and said "Sure Ali, let her come. I don't mind at all". I then promptly forgot about it until about 3:pm when he called me from the guard shack and told me that his daughter had arrived. I said, "Okay, send her on up to my office". He said, "No, Señor Bob, you better come out here". When I got outside I realized right away why he didn't send her in. She was there with seven of her giggling friends all in their nice neat school uniforms with a patch identifying the school as CBTIS-65. The letters CBTIS stand for "Centro de Bachillerato Tecnologico Industrial y de Servicios". There are about 800 of these high schools in Mexico where they are trying to upgrade the normal high school curriculum to prepare students for semi-professional and technical jobs. These girls are studying English and they had an assignment to interview a native English speaker.

At first I was afraid that I had gotten myself into more problems than I wanted to deal with but the girls were very nice and very serious. They were well prepared with their questions written out in English and they wanted to interview me in two teams. They were all about 14 or 15 years old. I agreed and led them over to an area where I hold my regular employee training sessions and we began. I stood with three girls at a time while the others filmed the sessions with their cheap little digital cameras that had limited video capability. They took turns filming and later on they would piece all of their videos together to create the complete interview. It was very touching to see them try to do this and they were really in earnest about it. The girls all introduced themselves to the camera and then introduced me and then started asking questions. They were simple questions mostly like where did I come from, and how long have I lived in Mexico, and what are the duties of my job, etc. They even asked me if there is any favorite food that I miss. I told them "Yes there is. I really miss Polish style Kosher dill pickles" and they all had a good laugh. I guess they thought I was joking. Actually they did the interviews very well and I am very proud of all of them.

Afterward one of the girls asked me if I had any personal advice for them and I said yes and I told them the story about the pig in the python. I told them that after World War II there were four million United States soldiers who came home from the armed forces and got married and had children...lot's of children. Then more soldiers came back from the Korean War and did the same thing. All of these children entered the American population as a group and as they grew up through the years they swelled the system wherever they passed through it it just like a pig swells the body of a big python snake as it travels from the snake's head to its stomach. I told them that there were seventy-six million of these children born between 1946 and 1964 and they are starting to reach retirement age. As they retire and age further they are going to stretch the need for nursing and medical technical services to the breaking point. I said that there would be some very good opportunities for young women who go into nursing or medical technical fields who also had the ability to speak excellent English. They would find opportunities in Mexico as well as the United States if they become well qualified people. I told them that for a young woman in Mexico who would like to be free and independent this is the perfect time to be a young student and if they apply themselves diligently now, then in only a few short years they could be on their own and making a nice living.

Needless to say they hung on every word and became very excited about this. They all pointed to one girl who had already made this her goal and I could see that the rest of them were already making mental calculations. I hope that in some small way I may have motivated some of them to dig in and fight for a better life. In the meantime I told them that I would be happy to help them in whatever way that I can and if their teacher would like me to go to their school to help the students with English now and then I would be happy to do so. The whole thing ended on a very high note and they presented me with a nice box of chocolates which I tried not to accept but they insisted. To tell you the truth I really had a good time. Perhaps someday when you are sitting in a nursing home nodding off to Oprah Winfrey reruns, one of my girls will come by and say, "Okay Doña Anciana or Don Anciano, it's time to take your medicine". Just remember to ask them if they had ever heard of Señor Bob.

Heaven only knows...

I am sure that most of us native English speakers who live in Mexico have asked someone a question at one time or another and have received a vague look, a shrug of the shoulders, and an answer, "¿Quién sabe?" (Who knows?). Other times you might ask the same question and receive the answer "Solo Dios Sabe" or Solo Dios lo sabe" (God only knows). Some people actually consider this reply as an example of needlesly using God's name in vain so it is probably better to translate this as "Heaven only knows" to stay on the safe side and be politically correct. There is also another way to say "Heaven only knows" in Spanish and it is "Sabrá Dios" which is in the future tense and literally translates as "God will know". For example, someone might ask a parent where their teenage son is and they will shrug their shoulders, look up at the sky and say "Sabrá Dios". Sometimes the phrase "sabrá Dios" is used in conjunction the relative pronoun "que" as in "que sabrá Dios" (that God will know). An example might be:

Mi hijo regresó de vacaciones cantando una canción que Dios sabrá donde la aprendió.
My son returned from vacation singing a song that Heaven only knows where he learned it.

This brings us to the question of why the verb "saber" (to know) is used in the future tense as in "Sabrá Dios" and not in the present as in "Dios sabe". Well I have a theory about that. Long before the Spanish Inquisition (1478–1834) there was an inquisition called the Medieval Inquisition (1184–1230s). There was a major heresy in the Catholic Church at the time that was centered in the South of France and it was called called the Cathar Heresy. To rid itself of this heresy the Catholic Church initiated a 20-year military campaign called the Albigensian Crusade or Cathar Crusade and it lasted from 1209 until 1229. During the first season the Crusaders captured the city of Béziers in Southwest France in the heart of Cathar territory but they had trouble rooting out the heretical Cathars from the general population. It was like the present day coalition troops trying to root out the Taliban from the general population of Afghanistan. Finally, in frustration, they took the problem to the Papal Legate, Arnaud-Amaury, who is reported to have said "Kill them all, God will know his own". In Spanish it would be "Matar a todos, Dios sabrá cuales son los suyos". In Latin it is "Cædite eos. Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius" and in French "Tuez-les tous, Dieu reconnaîtra les siens".

Unfortunately this phrase "Kill them all, God will know his own" became a popular military slogan whenever an army was confronted with a problematic insurgency. The Spanish version, "Matar a todos, Dios sabrá cuales son los suyos", was no doubt used in the quest to rid the Moors from Spain, and also during the various escapades of the Conquistadors in the Americas. It has come down to us to this day in the form "Kill them all and let God sort them out" which became popular during the Vietnam War and among various mercenary groups in the 1970's and 80's. I think this subject would be a good one for a doctoral thesis but "Dios sabrá" if that will ever happen in my case because I haven't been to college yet and I'm getting a little long in the tooth. So...if anyone else wants to tackle this one please be my guest.

I got carried away...

The other day at breakfast I commented to my wife Gina:

Híjole, el café está demasiado dulce.
Wow, the coffee is way too sweet.

She replied:

Lo siento cariño, se me pasó la mano con el azúcar.
I'm sorry dear, I got carried away with the sugar.

The verb "pasar" is one of the most common and useful verbs in Spanish and it would be impractical to cover all of the uses in one blog post but I thought it might be nice to share this phrase "Se me pasó la mano" with my friends who are studying Spanish because it is a good one to have handy in casual conversation. The phrase "Se me pasó la mano" means to go overboard, to go too far, to overdo it, to get carried away, to cross the line, or to do too much of anything in general. You can use it in a number of different ways. For example:

Se me pasó la mano en lo que dije a mi vecino.
I went too far with what I said to my neighbor.

Qué no se te pase la mano, regañando a tu hijo.
Don't get carried away with scolding your son.
(Note the use of the subjunctive "pase" because it is a command.)

Se nos pasó la mano con los gastos de nuestro viaje.
We went overboard with the expenses for our trip.

Se les pasó la mano, tomando el tequila en la fiesta.
They went overboard drinking tequila at the party.

Se te pasó la mano con la sal.
You went overboard with the salt.

If you want to tone it down a degree or two and make it a suggestion and not a condemnation you can add words like "poco" or "poquito":

Creo que se te pasó la mano un poco.
I think you crossed the line a bit.

Jefe, creo que se te pasó la mano un poquito con el trabajador nuevo.
Boss, I think you were a little hard on the new worker.

You can even use it to excuse yourself after making a boo-boo by saying:

¡Upps! Creo que quizás se me pasó la mano.
Oops! I think I may have crossed the line.

You can also elevate the emotion to show frustration or anger:

¡Esta vez se te pasó mucho la mano de lo que hiciste!
This time you really crossed the line with what you did!

¡Con este, se te pasó la mano!
With this you went too far!

You can even turn it into a question:

¿Por qué se te pasó la mano?
Why did you get carried away?

¿Cómo que se te pasó la mano?
How is it that you crossed the line?

Note that although the majority of the time that you will hear this phrase it will be used to convey a negative sense it can also be taken in a positive sense meaning to outdo oneself depending upon the situation. For example, if you were congratulating somebody you might say something like the following which, when taken in context, is meant to be a compliment:

Se te pasó la mano con el libro.
You outdid yourself with the book.

Señora, se te pasó la mano con la cena.
Ma'am, you really outdid yourself with the supper.

I suggest that you practice the above phrases and write them down on some index cards. Go over them frequently until you have the pattern committed to memory. In that way when you want to use "Se me pasó la mano" in a conversation you will have the correct pattern and word order and you won't stumble around just when you're trying to sound "cool".

Heekah-Who?

Have you ever heard of a "yam bean"? Of the three cultivated species of yam bean, the first to be scientifically recorded was the Mexican species Pachyrhizus erosus. That is the species commonly known as jícama (HEE-kah-mah) in Spanish, and the one you've most likely tasted at one time or other. The jícama is obviously a root crop so why is it called a yam bean in English? First of all, the word "yam" is the common name for some species in the genus Dioscorea (family Dioscoreaceae). These are perennial herbaceous vines which originated in Africa and they are cultivated for the consumption of their starchy tubers (The sweet potato, "Ipomoea batatas", has traditionally been referred to as a yam but it is not part of the Dioscoreaceae family). The yam bean of Mexico, however, takes a form very similar to that of the African yam even though they are of a different family, genus, and species. They both have an underground taproot or tuberous root that resembles a tuber and a long vine that grows above ground. The "bean" part of "yam bean" stems from the fact that the yam bean seeds are produced in a pod that looks something like a bean pod but the seeds are not edible and they are purported to be rather poisonous. The vines are very long and sometimes extend twenty feet or more in length. The "tubers" can weigh up to fifty pounds or more but they are usually cultivated to reach an average market size similar to that of a small grapefruit. It is a prolific plant and somewhere around thirty-five hundred pounds or more of jícama tubers can be harvested from a single acre.

The people who live in the Mexican "Bajío" region of Guanajuato that covers much of the territory around Irapuato where I live are lucky in that the best jícama comes from the the town of San Juan de la Vega which is a small town on the Río Laja near San Miguel de Allende between the town Comonfort and the city of Celaya. Jícama is also grown in several other areas of Mexico at different elevations to ensure a year around supply for the market. At this time of year you can often see roadside jícama stands on the highway from San Miguel to Celaya just north of Comonfort. You can buy a sack that is almost too heavy to carry for about thirty pesos and it is the best jícama that you will ever have tried.

By now you can surmise that I like jícama. You are correct. I LOVE JÍCAMA! It is the best diet food that I have ever come across. Being rather rotund (to say the least), I am on a perpetual diet (or I'm supposed to be). Jícama is something that tastes good, satisfies my hunger for quite awhile, and is good for me. I have it for lunch at least two or three times per week. I like to eat it in the traditional Mexican way with lime juice and chili powder as you can see in the photo below. I can eat about two cups for lunch and not be hungry again until way into the evening. Jicama has a texture similar to water chestnuts and has a mildly sweet, nutty flavor. The sweetness comes from a combination long chain sugars called oligofructose-inulin (also called fructo-oligosaccharide). Inulin and oligofructose are not digested in the upper gastrointestinal tract; therefore, they have a reduced caloric value. They stimulate the growth of intestinal bifidobacteria (the good bacteria). They do not lead to a rise in serum glucose or stimulate insulin secretion (note that "inulin" and "insulin" are two completely different things). One cup of jícama has only fifty calories, twelve grams of carbohydrate in the form of dietary fiber, no fat, no cholesterol, and forty percent of the daily recommended dose of Vitamin C.

To eat it, I peel off the light brown skin, slice it up, cut it into smaller pieces, dowse it with lime juice, and sprinkle it liberally with a chili powder called Tajín which can be bought in any Mexican supermarket. Tajín comes in several styles but I like the classic style that contains nothing more than a combination of dried ground "chiles" (chilies) with a touch of "limón" (lime). There are no preservatives or artificial coloring added. The cool crunchiness and sweetness of the jícama, along with the bite of the lime juice and the heat of the chile gives this dish an eye opening and palate awakening flavor that I find very satisfying and not at all overbearing. There are also a lot of other things you can do with jícama. It can be steamed, baked, boiled, mashed, fried, sautéed with carrots or green beans, stir fried it with chicken or shrimp, simmered in a savory stew, eaten with guacamole or seasoned dips, or just plain cut up into squares and used in fresh fruit salads. If you haven't ever done much with jícama I suggest that you give it another look. Oh, yes, one more thing. I also like to sprinkle chile Tajín on my ice cream cones of the water based "nieve de limón y nieve de piña". Wow!

¡ Buen Provecho !

¿Ok maguey?

When my brother Dan and I visited the Corralejo Tequila factory near Pénjamo we went on a weekday when they were in the middle of a production run. We were cordially received and given a nice tour of the plant. When we got to the point where they were taking the "piñas" of the agave plant out of the steam cookers we were offered a bit of the pulp to chew on. It was a bit "woody" and very sweet and it tasted like tequila although at that point the juice did not have any alcoholic content. It was surprisingly very good and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. As you probable already know, Tequila is made from a species of the plant kingdom in the order Asparagales, family Agavaceae, and genus Agave named "Agave tequilana Weber var. azul" which is also called the "blue agave". The blue agave was first classified by German botanist F. Weber in 1905. Technically, this is the only species that can be used to make 100% Tequila under the Mexican NOM , Norma Oficial Mexicana, the system for Mexican government standards in agreement with the European AOC (Appellation de Origin Controllee).

There are about three hundred species of Agave and you can make alcohol out of just about all of them. They all fall under the collective Spanish name "Maguey" which in English we often call the "Century Plant". There is another popular alcoholic beverage in Mexico called "mezcal". The difference between tequila and mezcal is that mezcal is made from one of the other 299 varieties of agave and not the Weber blue agave. In addition, the tequila piñas are most often cooked in a large steam pressure cooker and tequila is produced in larger volumes than mezcal. The production of mezcal utilizes wood burning ovens to bake the piñas and so mexcal has a smoky flavor that is distinct from tequila. No matter what type of agave is used it takes anywhere from seven to twelve years or more for the agave plant to mature. As it begins to mature it sends up a tall central stalk called a "quiote" (key-OH-teh) which is a flower which sometimes rises twenty feet into the air and on this tall flower the plant and produces seeds and then it dies. If just when the quiote stalk starts to grow it is removed, the plant becomes saturated with the sugars that it was saving to send up the flower stalk. This is when it is harvested.

The other day my wife Gina and I were at a market and we found a man selling pieces of the mezcal agave piña after it had been baked. He cut off the outer shell and then cut the piña into various shapes and sizes. He told me that the pieces were called "quiote" just like the flower stalk and that they were good to eat. I bought a couple of pie shaped pieces and we tried them. They were even better that the tequila pulp that my brother and I had tried when we visited the tequila factory. In fact, these mezcal pieces were soft and easy to chew and and swallow. They had a taste and consistency something like candied sweet potato but with a definite smoky mezcal flavor. You can see how they look in the photos below. If you ever see something like this go ahead and try it. It is a unique experience. At first glance it looked like the guy was selling rocks but even though they look like rocks they are about as soft as a chocolate brownie.

¿Ok maguey? (oh-KAY muh-GAY). You might hear this phrase being used now and then. It just means "Okay?" in English as in "Alright?". It is a play on words because the "Ok" rhymes with "guey" (not "güey" which is something else). Go ahead and try it on your friends or neighbors. Just say something like "Nos vemos esta tarde. ¿OK maguey?". I guarantee that you will make them smile.