Do you want to be a Frugalista?

Okay, we're getting down to the wire and I still haven't made my new year's resolutions. I have to do something fast. I decided to look at last years resolutions to see how I did? Wow! What a disaster that was. I think I need to “borrar y cuenta nueva” (erase and start over). I thought perhaps I would look for something futuristic to go along with Barak Obama's theme of “time for a change”. I noticed that the New Oxford Dictionary had among its new words for 2009, the word “frugalista”. A “frugalista” is a person who leads a frugal lifestyle, but stays fashionable and healthy by swapping clothes, buying second-hand items, and growing his (or her) own food. Let me see...that conjures up phrases like:

Waste not, want not.
A penny saved is a penny earned.
A stitch in time saves nine.
Penny wise and pound foolish.
Always hoe to the end of the row.
Take up a notch in your belt.

I just don't think I want to be that frugal. I want to be careful, yes, but not overly frugal. In Mexico they just come right out and call a really frugal person “cheap”. They say that a person is “codo” which means “stingy”. I believe it is related to the word “codicioso” (coh-dee-see-OH-soh) which means “greedy”. To say to another person that they are cheap or stingy all you have to do is point at your elbow which is also called a “codo” in Spanish. Hey, I want to be careful with my pesos but I also want to keep them in circulation so that nobody gives me the elbow. “Frugalista” is just too futuristic and politically correct for me to adopt as a resolution.

After thinking about it for awhile the future just didn't seem to be working out so I decided to look to the past. After all, January is named after the Roman god Janus who had two faces, one looking to the future and one looking to the past. I decided to think of some words that I hadn't heard in a long, long time and I came up with two of them. One of them is “stoopnagle” and the other one is “goolsticker”. My mother used to use the word “stoopnagle” when I was a kid as in “Bobby, don't be such a stoopnagle”. The way she pronounced it I thought that she was saying “stoopnaygo” and I thought perhaps that it was a Polish word that meant “jerk”. It turns out that it came from a popular radio program in the 1930's called “Stoopnagle and Budd”. A man named Frederick Chase Taylor played a character named Colonel Lemuel Q. Stoopnagel who was always doing goofy things and the word “stoopnagle” came to be synonymous with “goof ball” or “dim wit”. The word “goolsticker” comes from a children's game that we used to play in the 1950's. The “gool” part was actually an earlier form of the word for “goal” and thus a “goolsticker” was someone who never ventured out and left the safety of the goal and tended to stay put all the time, refusing to risk the status quo in search of fame and glory.

There you have it folks. I am hereby resolved to be neither a stoopnagle nor a goolsticker in 2009 and you have my word on that. If you find my actions to the contrary then you are authorized to give me either a verbal lashing or a good swift kick in the pants. I am sure that Mother would approve. See you next year...oh, and one more thing...

I send these words and an “abrazo” (hug) across time and space to each and every one of you:

Happy New Year and may the Dear Lord bless you and keep you healthy, happy, and solvent.

Kielbasa, Jalapeño, and the Essence of Life

I love living in Mexico. This country is now my home and I have no desire to live anywhere else. There are very few things that I miss about living in the United States except for things like Kielbasa (Polish sausage), sour kraut, and kosher dill pickles. The other day I found all three in a supermarket in León. Thanks to Almighty God and Globalization my life is now almost complete. “What?”, I hear you say. “What do you mean by 'almost' complete?”. Well, if I could just find a loaf of that nice Chicago Augusta rye bread with the shiny hard crust and the caraway seeds then my life would be truly complete...I think. Hmmm, just now thinking about it perhaps there are also a few other things but in any case the first three items will do for now. I am going to eat Polish sausage and sour kraut on New Years Eve in memory of "Auld Lang Syne" or as we say in modern English, in memory of “days gone by". There is only one catch. As you can see in the photo below the label on the Kielbasa says:

“Salchicha Ahumada Tipo Polaca Con Chile Jalapeño”
Polish Style Smoked Sausage With Chili Jalapeño

That's okay. Bring it on. There is poetic justice in that. Kielbasa and Jalapeño are the boiled down essence of my life. After all...I'm a Chicago boy of Polish heritage living in Mexico.

Click on photo to enlarge.

Going to Dreamland with Elvis

I read in the news that the oldest man in the United States has died in California at the age of 112. His name was George Rene Francis (may he rest in peace). That paves the way for the next oldest man, Walter Breuning of Montana to take his place as the oldest man. Walter is also 112 but is a few days shy of Francis. America's oldest woman is 114-year-old Gertrude Baines of Los Angeles. There is one thing that I don't think that I am going to have to worry about and that is being the oldest man. Besides, that would be too much pressure for me. I would probably die of anxiety just thinking about it. I can just imagine sitting there at number two position and hoping that I didn't die before number one kicked the pail. That sure is a tough way to get your fifteen minutes of fame. I guess you really have to be patient.

At lunch time today I decided to take a walk to shake down some of that Christmas turkey that I ate too much of. It was a nice warm sunny day and I walked along the railroad tracks near where I work. I was thinking about George and Walter and Gertrude when I passed a boxcar that had both doors open and on the other side I saw another boxcar that carried the following stencil (in Spanish) which you can also see in the photograph below:

ULTIMO
VIAJE
A SUS DUEÑOS
R 90

Translated that means “Last trip to its owners Rule 90”. This means that according to Rule 90 of the railroad interchange rules this boxcar has come to the end of its useful life of forty years and is being sent home to be cut up for scrap. The scrap metal will be sent to the steel mill to be turned into new steel and the boxcar will eventually be resurrected as a bunch of new toasters, or a city bus, or even part of the cruise ship that you take your next vacation on. If a boxcar can be resurrected and receive a new life then it is reasonable to assume that we can too. I am thinking that maybe when I get to Heaven I can be a movie actor or even a rock and roll singer like Elvis. Hey, I wonder how he is doing up there. Do you suppose he is only singing Gospel music or do you suppose that God lets him cut loose every once in awhile to shake things up a bit? I think that with a little adjustment the sign on the boxcar would make a good epitaph. Instead of “Ultimo viaje a sus dueños” it should read “Ultimo viaje a sus sueños” or “Last trip to his dreams”. That is my prayer for George Rene Francis...that he is now in the land of his dreams. I'll see you in dreamland, George.

Click on photo to enlarge.

December Fool's Day

December 28th is the Feast of the Holy Innocents. It is the day that commemorates the death of the little boys who were slain by King Herod in an attempt to assassinate the Christ Child. This event is described in the Gospel of Matthew in Mathew 2:13-16. It talks about King Herod ordering the execution of all young male children under the age of two in the village of Bethlehem, after the Magi or “Three Kings” announced to him the impending birth of the "King of the Jews." The Magi were supposed to return to Herod and tell him where they found this newborn king so that supposedly he could go and worship Him also. However , God warned the Magi in a dream and they tricked Herod and did not return home through Jerusalem. That is when an Angel also warned Joseph and he took Mary and the little baby an fled to Egypt to avoid Herod's clutches.

On this day in Mexico and many other Spanish speaking countries people pull practical jokes on each other. It is equivalent to the U.S. version of April Fools Day. You must not believe anything that other people say, nor let them borrow any amount of money. The tradition is that money borrowed on this day doesn't have to be repaid. If you fall victim of the joke, the person pulling the joke will say, “Inocente palomita que te dejaste engañar” or “Innocent little dove how you've let yourself be fooled”. This is the short version of a little verse that goes:

“Inocente Palomita
Que te dejaste engañar
Sabiendo que en este día
Nada se debe prestar.”

Innocent little dove
How you've let yourself be fooled
Knowing that on this day
You should lend nothing.

Señor Jordan

I just discovered a blog for people who want to learn Spanish that is one of the best that I have seen so far. It is called “Señor Jordan’s Spanish Video Blog”. It utilizes a series of YouTube type videos in which a very talented young man present some very well thought out and well executed Spanish lessons. It is completely free and there are no strings attached. I strongly suggest that those of you out there who feel the need to learn Spanish take advantage of this opportunity because this material is equal to or better than anything you might find in a formal class. It might even be of help those of us who already think we know it all (Ahem!). The videos cover the basics and proceed to intermediate levels with more lessons being added all the time. I really applaud this young man and his efforts to help English speakers communicate in Spanish. Of course, he can't do everything for us. We still have to study vocabulary, common phrases, and idiomatic expressions but this guy can really help us over some of the rough spots. Now let's get going!
http://srjordan.wordpress.com/los-videos/

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El Pavo de Navidad

Christmas in México is full of surprises and this Christmas was no exception. This year I ate the most fabulous turkey dinner that I have ever eaten in my life (with apologies to my mother and my grandmother). When I first came to México it was fairly rare to find a turkey for roasting in the markets or the supermarkets. Every year it seems like more and more things are becoming readily available. My wife Gina found a fifteen and a half pound frozen “pavo ahumado” or “smoked turkey” at the Soriana supermarket for 378 pesos. She had heard about injecting a smoked turkey with wine so she went to the pharmacy and told the pharmacist that she wanted to buy a “jeringa” (hair-EENG-ah) or “syringe”. The pharmacist asked her what size she wanted and she told him that she didn't know. He then asked her what she was going to do with it and she told him that she was going to “inyectar un pavo” or “inject a turkey”. In Mexico that's all there is to it. No other questions asked. He sold her a 10 milliliter syringe with a .8 millimeter diameter needle. After she defrosted the turkey she took the syringe and injected the turkey with about a half liter of white wine until every bit of turkey flesh was soused. She put the turkey in a big roasting pan with a lid that she had borrowed from her mother, rubbed it with olive oil, and put it in the oven at 400 degrees for about three and a half hours. Then she just shut off the oven and let the turkey cool down very slowly until it was time to serve it. Wow! It was so good that it exceeded everyone's expectations, even those of my mother-in-law Carmelita. I am very proud of Gina and I am already looking for my next drunken turkey...burp. ¡Perdón!

Señora Santa Claus

Every year on December 24th my wife Gina thinks that she is Señora Santa Claus. Below is a picture of the trunk of her car.

And I heard her exclaim as she drove out of sight,

Feliz Navidad y buenas noches a todos...
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Through the eye of a needle...

If you spend much time in Mexico you will see some wonderful things...things that you can hardly believe are possible. I am always amazed by some of the miniature dioramas like those of the Nativity Scene that are so small that they are contained in a nut shell. However, after seeing the video below I think there is no limit to what people can do no matter where they are. There is a man named Willard Wigan in England who makes tiny dioramas so small that they fit into the eye of a needle. I am truly humbled. You will be too!

Orange Cookies and Fruit Flies

My friend and fellow blogger Bliss recently wrote about baking cookies for Christmas. For some reason or other this triggered a memory of my mother and one of her cookie baking experiences. My mother was always a positive thinking, forward looking, happy-go-lucky person with a perpetual twinkle in her eye and she was fond of playing practical jokes every now and then. One time my father was explaining to us how they used to play practical jokes in the military and about how one of the most popular jokes was "short sheeting" each others beds. To "short sheet" a bed you tuck the top sheet under the mattress at the top of the bed and then double it over so that when a person tries to get into bed their feet are stopped halfway down the bed by the fold in the doubled over sheet. Yes, you guessed it. When my father tried to get into bed that night he found that it was short sheeted. Poor Dad, he was often the target of Ma's jokes and of course all of us kids thought it was hysterical. One time Ma put some over ripe fruit on the back porch and then waited until it had fruit flies. She then captured the fruit flies in a little net and put the fruit flies in my Dad's lunch box just as she was closing the lid. At lunch time Dad would open the lunch box and fruit flies would fly out and the other workers began to joke about it. Finally after three or four days of this my Dad brought up the subject at the supper table and all of us kids burst out laughing because we were all in on it. He knew right then that he had been the victim of another of Ma's tricks. Fortunately our Dad was a good natured sort who was fond of pulling his own pranks once in awhile.

One day my sister Suzy decided she would try playing a trick on our mother. She noticed that she had the same style of handwriting that Ma did and with a little practice she was able to duplicate Ma's handwriting. Ma loved to cook and bake and she had a file box full of recipes that she had collected over the years. Suzy decided to make up some recipes and sneak them into the recipe box to see Ma's reaction. The problem is that the plan backfired. One of the fake recipes was an imaginary recipe for "Mexican Orange Cookies". My sister tried to make it as realistic as possible by copying parts of other cookie recipes but she also threw in some odd ingredients. Our mother was always trying to make something new and different so one day she stumbled upon this recipe and tried to make it. She was just taking the cookies out of the oven as we came home from school and I tried one of them. It was terrible. Seeing the face that I had made Ma tried one herself and became very quiet and obviously very frustrated that the cookies had turned out so bad. My sister Suzy seeing how sad the ruined cookies made our mother started to cry from remorse and the story came out. She confessed to the Mexican Orange Cookies and to several other fake recipes. Our mother quickly forgave Suzy for telling the truth but I was not so ready to forgive her. After all, I had been cheated out of a nice batch of cookies. Just for the sake of curiosity I typed in "Mexican Orange Cookies" on Google and found out that there are oodles of recipes for cookies under this name. Too bad Suzy didn't get it right. I'll bet that Ma's cookies would have been the best!

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Erase and start over...

This time of year when the days grow shorter and shorter I always seem to get a little depressed. I suspect it has something to do with the fading of the light but I sometimes think it has something to do with Christmas. Somehow Christmas never matches up to the story book dreams of my youth and it turns into a mad dash from store to store trying to divine what someone else would like to have and usually getting it wrong. It also means taking a bunch of people who don't really get along all that well much of the time and putting them all together in one place once every year in the hopes that there will be “Peace on Earth”, or at least peace around the dinner table. In any case this is usually the season when I get a bit melancholy and start philosophizing. There is a phrase often used in Mexico that goes “borrar y cuenta nueva” which basically means, "to erase and start over". That is what I would like to do with my life, erase and start over. You will see below the best picture that was ever taken of me. It was taken about sixty years ago. When I realize that today is the first day of the rest of my life and I see my reflection in the mirror I think to myself, “Who is that guy in the mirror and whatever became of that little boy in the photograph?”. I guess my mother was right when she used to tell me not to spend much time looking in the mirror or the Devil might jump out at me. On the inside I am still like that innocent little boy in the photo but on the outside I am afraid that I am in a heap of trouble.