Dialog - At the Gas Station

In the last dialog episode I covered more or less what to expect when you leave the supermarket checkout and go out into the supermarket parking lot with your purchases. This time we will cover stopping at the gas station on the way home. All of the gas stations in Mexico are owned or franchised by Petróleos Mexicanos (PEMEX) which is Mexico's state-owned petroleum company. The grades of PEMEX gasoline are “Magna” (regular unleaded 87 octane) and “Premium” (92 octane). The way to tell them apart is that Magna has a green pump handle and Premium has a red pump handle. You will notice that the attendant asks the man to note that the gas pump registers $0.00 before he starts pumping. This is to avoid suspicion that he is cheating the customer. Since I have never to my knowledge been cheated in the ten years that I have been living here I just say “Bueno” and ignore it. Note that the tire pressure is given in PSI (pounds per square inch). Even though Mexico officially uses the Metric System if you tell the gas station attendant that instead of 30 PSI (peh-ehseh-ee) you want 2.068 kPa (kilopascals) he will probably just give you a blank stare. The man in the dialog just says “30 parejo” which means “30 PSI all around”. Also note that the man uses a short form for “por favor” which is “porfa” (POHR-fah). This is quite common.

Okay, so the man drives into the Pemex station and pulls up to the pump and the attendant approaches him and says:

Buenas tardes, señor. ¿Cuánto le vamos a servir? ¿Se lo lleno?
Good afternoon sir. How may we be of service? Fill'er up?

Sí, por favor, llénalo.
Yes please, fill'er up.

¿Con Magna o Premio? (¿Con verde o rojo?)
With Magna or Premium? (With green or red?)

Con Magna, porfa. (Con verde porfa.)
With green please. (With green please.)

Señor, nota la bomba se marca ceros por favor.
Mister, please note that the pump shows zeros.

Bueno, está bien.
Alright, it's okay.

¿Quiere que lo checo el aceite?
Do you want me to check the oil?

No, gracias, pero me puede checar la presión de las llantas.
No, thank you, but you can check the air in the tires for me.

Sí, cómo no. ¿Cuántas libras prefiere?
Yes, why not? How many pounds do you prefer?

Treinta parejo.
Thirty all around.

Ya está señor. Sus llantas están bien con la excepción de la de trasera derecha. Faltaba cinco libras. Hay que revisar cuando vuelve a cargar gasolina. Son doscientos cuarenta y cinco pesos para la gasolina.
All done sir. Your tires are okay except for the right rear. It was lacking five pounds. You need to check it when you gas up again. That will be two hundred forty-five pesos for the gasoline.

Aquí está doscientos cincuenta. Quédese con el cambio para un refresco.
Here is two hundred fifty. Keep the change for a soda.

Muchas gracias, señor. Que le vaya bien, ándale.
Thanks a lot sir. Y'all come back soon.

Note: I have a few more comments:

Faltaba cinco libras. - Don't confuse the word “libras”, “pounds” with “libros”, books. Also there is a peculiar idiomatic expression involving the verb librar which normally means “to set free” or “to exempt”. The phrase is “No la libro”. It means “I can't fit it” or “It won't fit”. One time I was with another man who was trying to parallel park a car in a space which was too small. He said, “No la libro” meaning the space was too small for the car but I thought he was saying something about a book and I said ¿Qué libro?, "What book?". Don't laugh. Things like this are going to happen to you too, and I want you to be honest and tell me about them.

Queda con el cambio para un refresco. - It is the custom in Mexico to tip gas station attendants and I usually give them five pesos or even ten pesos if the do some extra work for me like washing all the windows, or checking the oil, or checking the tires. In this case the man gave the attendant two hundred fity pesos in bills and told him to keep the five pesos in change. He must be a bit on the cheap side because a soda cost more like six or seven pesos and the atendant did the extra work of checking his tires.

Que le vaya bien, ándale. - Note that I translated it as “Y'all come back soon”. The literal translation would be “May you go well, hurry up”. I think my translation carries the meaning better than the literal translation. Don't you?

Presa la Purísima

A friend of mine named José Luis Lee had been riding his ATV (All Terrain Vehicle) with a group of amigos on the dirt roads that surround a local reservoir called “Presa La Purísima”. He told me that they ate lunch under a “palapa” at a place called “Molineros” (Millers) on the shore of the reservoir. This was enough to pique my interest and I could immediately feel the urge for another adventure coming on. Yesterday afternoon I loaded up the car with my wife Gina and her mother Carmelita and off we went in search of “Molineros” singing:

“Somos Exploradores”...“We are Explorers”

Presa La Purísima was completed in 1979 and it is the biggest body of water in the State of Guanajuato. That isn't saying much because it is only about four kilometers long and a little more than a kilometer wide. To the people who live here though it is a big deal, especially for those who have never been anywhere else. I thought that having been born and raised in Chicago on the shores of Lake Michigan the site of a little “pond” like this shouldn't move me but when Gina and Carmelita saw the water they were so delighted, I couldn't help thinking that it looked pretty good to me too.

The word “presa” means “prey” as in “a tiger eating his prey”. It signifies a “catch” of something. In the case of a reservoir it means a “catch” of water which comes from the basin of a river which is called a “cuenca”. The word “presa” in the name “Presa La Purísima” refers to the whole reservoir in general including the dam. They call the structure of concrete and steel that holds back the water “la cortina” (the curtain) which is what in English we refer to as "the dam”. A more technical name for “dam” in Spanish would be “embalse” but I hardly ever encounter that word. The word “purísima” means “most pure” and comes from the title “La Purísima Concepción de María Santísima”, one of the titles for the Blessed Virgin Mary. I wouldn't say that the water from “Presa La Purísima” is pure though. The reservoir is fed by two rivers. At the end where you find “la cortina” it is fed by the Rio Del Cubo and at the opposite end it is fed by the Rio Guanajuato which drains the mining district where all the silver is found. Therefore the water contains a lot of minerals and for this reason it is used mostly for irrigation purposes.

To get to Molineros we first took the dirt roads that led to the “cortina” and followed the contour of the reservoir but we found out that the reservoir is very full and we were cut off by high water. We retraced our steps and attempted a different route and this time we were successful. From Irapuato we took the main highway towards Silao and León and we turned off onto another road called the “Guanajuato Libre”. It is called “libre” which means “free” because there is no toll. About halfway between the Irapuato - León highway and the community of SantaTeresa we turned off towards Cuevas at the restaurant with the big red Coca-Cola sign. Just before we got to Cuevas we turned right at the big green sign that says “Molineros” and followed the dirt road to the edge of the reservoir. I put together a little map (with the aid of Google and Paint Shop Pro) which you can see below. Why did I do this? Because I want you to go there.

When we arrived at Molineros we encountered several “plapas”. A palapa is normally a roof structure of some sort that is covered with palm fronds. Here they call any kind of structure with a roof but no sides that provides protection from sun and rain a “palapa”. We stopped at one palapa at random because it had an inviting looking parking spot and went in to see what we could find to eat. We weren't disappointed. The menu included things like ceviche, filete de moharra, pescado dorado, caldo de camarón, and coctel de camarón. Carmelita and I ordered fillets of Moharra wich is a good tasting fish that the men catch fresh from the reservoir using nets. Gina ordered pescado dorado which is Moharra that has been scored on the sides and deep fried whole. The fish plates were served with salads and rice and saltine crackers. There were soft drinks or beer to wash it all down and “pay de queso” (cheese pie) for desert. We found all to be very tasty and satisfying.

The highlight of the afternoon was meeting Doña Eulalia. She definitely the lady in charge. She will be 84 years old next December 3rd and is as spry as a sixteen year old. Her full name is Señora Eulalia López Luna and she is a widow. She had twelve children and three of them operate palapas at Molineros. We ate in the palapa called “Pescados Pau” which is operated by her daughter Paulina García López. She is helped by her sister Emilia García López and you can see a picture of all three ladies below. There is another palapa operated by a daughter named Guadalupe and called “Pescados Lupita”. Her son Miguel García López runs the palapa “Buena Vista”. All I can say is that we had a wonderful time and it was a pleasant way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

Now, I have something else to tell you. If you go you will receive a special surprise. When you leave to go back home you will first top a rise on the way back to the highway and when you top that rise the view will take your breath away. You will have a wonderful view of the Sierra Guanajuato including a stunning view of Cubilete and Cerro de la Bufa . In between the two you will see the whole Rio Guanajuato river valley leading up to and including the cities of Marfil and Guanajuato. I didn't stop to take a picture because it was overcast and the light was fading. Besides that, the corn grows very close to the sides of the dirt road and it would have been a dangerous place to stop. I will wait until after harvest when I can pull off the road and I will be sure to go back on a bright sunny day. In the meantime, I encourage anyone who likes fried fish and pleasant company to give Molineros a try. ¡Buen Provecho!

(Click on the map to see a larger image.)

Dialog - Supermarket Parking Lot

In the last dialog episode we took our shopping cart through the supermarket checkout and today we are going to see what happens when someone takes their shopping cart out to their car. There is a phrase used in the dialog that is quite common in Mexico but may confuse you if you aren’t familiar with it. The phrase is “echar aguas”, literally “to throw water” but it is generally used to mean “watch out” or “look out” and the word “aguas” by itself is used to mean “danger” or “be careful”. The first time I encountered it I had only been in Mexico for a short time and I was riding in the passenger seat of a pickup truck and another man who I didn't know well was driving. We came to a busy intersection that we needed to cross and he said to me “¡Échame aguas!” and I thought he meant “Throw water at me”. I was startled, to say the least, but thinking that he might be thirsty I said “No tengo agua pero tengo un poco Coca-Cola”, “I don’t have any water but I have a little Coca-Cola”. He looked at me kind of wild eyed and repeated several times “¡Échame aguas!”, “¡Échame aguas!” and he pointed out the window on my side. Then I wondered if he wanted me to throw something so I threw my Coca-Cola out the window. By this time the guy was really freaking out and I was getting worried. I didn’t realize that he was asking me to give him the “all clear” on my side so that he could cross the road. He wouldn’t talk to me afterwards and I had to wait until I could find someone to explain to me what had happened. Yes, you are right. I felt really stupid, but sometimes that’s how you learn. I am telling you about it so that it won’t happen to you. In any case I learned that when someone shouts “¡Aguas!” they don’t mean “water”…they mean “danger”. So, here is a lady who just went through the supermarket checkout and is going to take her shopping cart out to her car. As she clears the door a young man approaches her and says politely: ¿Le ayudo cargar, señora? Can I help you with your things, ma’am? (Can I help you load, ma’am?) Sí, está bien. ¿Te llevas mi carrito? Mi coche es el Chevy azul allá entre el coche blanco y la camioneta roja. Yes, alright. Can you take my cart? My car is the blue Chevy over there between the white car and the red pickup. No problema señora. No problem lady. Aquí estamos. Déjame abrir la cajuela. Here we are. Let me open the trunk. ¿Dónde me puedo poner las cosas señora? Where do I put the things, ma’am? Por favor, pone los envases con líquido parados en un lado por se vaya caer y regar si no están bien tapados. Please put the containers with liquids standing to one side so they won’t fall over and spill out if they aren’t capped very well. ¿Dónde pongo los huevos? Where do I put the eggs? Ponlos en el asiento adelante porfa para no se vayan a romper. Déjame abrir la puerta. Put them in the front seat please so they won’t break. Let me open the door. ¿Y la bolsa de alimentos para los perros señora? And the bag with dog food, ma’am? Esa ponla en el asiento trasero. Put it in the back seat. Ya terminé señora. Todo está acomodado. (Sound of a trunk closing) Súbase por favor señora. Yo le echo aguas. I’m done, ma’am. Everything is put away. (Sound of a trunk closing) Get in, ma’am. I will watch out for you. (I will guide you.) [Note: The phrase “echar aguas” has nothing to do with water. It means to “watch out”] Muy bien muchacho. (Sound of a car door closing and a car starting) Very good young man. (Sound of a car door closing and a car starting) Sale, sale, sale, viene, viene...¡ALTO! Espere a que pase el carro negro. Ahora quebrándose, quebrándose, quebrándose todo. Ahí estuvo. (Thumping noise as the young man thumps on the trunk lid as a signal to stop). Okay, okay, okay, come on, come on…STOP! Wait until the black car passes. Now turn the wheel, turn the wheel, turn the wheel all the way. That’s it. (Thumping noise as the young man thumps on the trunk lid as a signal to stop). Gracias joven, aquí está para un refresco. Thank you young man, here is something to buy a soda. Gracias a usted, señora. Que le vaya bien. (Sound of a car departing) Thank you lady. May you go well. (Sound of a car departing) Note: Here are some comments: Súbase por favor - The verb “subir” means “to raise up” or “to lift up” but when used in the reflexive form “subirse” it means “to get in” as in “to get in a car” or “to get on” as in “to get on a train”. In a similar fashion the verb “bajar” menas “to lower” or “to take down” but when used in the reflexive form “bajarse” in means to “to get out” as in “to get out of the car” or “to get down off the train”. Sale, sale, sale, viene, viene...¡ALTO! The word “sale” is the third person present tense of the verb “salir” which generally means “to leave” However, I consider the word “sale” to be an idiomatic expression all by itself because like “àndale” and “órale” it can mean various things depending upon the context in which it is used. This verb “salir” has many meanings and it is a verb that you should study carefully. The word “alto” means “stop” (halt) in this dialog but “alto” can also mean “high” as in altitude and it can also mean “loud” as in a loud voice. Ahora quebrándose, quebrándose, quebrándose todo. - The verb “quebrar” means “to break” or “to go bankrupt”. In the sense that it is used here it means the same as we would say in English, “Now start cutting the wheel over” when someone is backing up to let them know that they have clearance to start their turn. In the dialog the phrase “quebrándose todo” is used where we would say “Now cut the wheel hard”.. I don't even know if it is “correct” Spanish but I do know that you will often hear it when someone is guiding another out of a parking space.

Dialog - Supermarket Checkout

Okay. In the last dialog episode we went to the supermarket deli counter and bought some lunch meat. Now we are finished with our selections and we need to take our shopping cart to the checkout counter which they usually refer to here as simply "la caja" or "the box" which is short for "cash box". This is where the "cajera" (cah-HAIR-ah) or " female cashier" will ring up our purchases. A male cashier would be a "cajero" (cah-HAIR-oh). It literally means "box person" or "cash box person". The point that I am getting at is that there is sometimes quite a difference between the actual meaning of a word or phrase and the literal translation that you might get from a dictionary. What I try to do in these dialogs is compare what people generally say in Mexican Spanish with what we say in English. Many times the phrases can't be matched word for word. That is why it is good to practice the dialogs and even memorize them…YES, I said memorize them! That way you will have the words and phrases already in your head. You can always substitute a word or phrase when needed to match actual current situation. If you try to translate word for word in your head as you are listening or speaking you will soon get very confused. Of course there might be variations in the dialog from one part of Mexico to the other but I think that you will find the following dialog fairly standard throughout the country.

So, as we wheel our "carrito" (shopping cart) into the checkout line and approach the checkout counter the girl says:

Buenas tardes, Señor. ¿Encontró todo lo que buscaba?
Good afternoon, Sir. Did you find everything that you were looking for?

Sí, gracias.
Yes, thank you.

¿Puedo empezar a marcar?
Can I begin the checkout?

Sí, por favor.
Yes, please.

Son cuatrocientos treinta y ocho cincuenta. ¿Su forma de pagar va a ser en efectivo o con tarjeta o vales de dispensa?
That will be four hundred thirty-eight fifty ($438.50 in pesos). Will you be paying in cash or with a credit card or with food stamps?

Voy a usar mi tarjeta de crédito Visa. (Voy a usar mi tarjeta Visa.)
I am going to use my Visa credit card.

¿Me permite su tarjeta? (¿Me presta su tarjeta?)
Can I have your card?

Aquí tiene.
Here you are.

Gracias. ¿Desea donar los centavos?
Thank you. Do you want to donate the cents? (centavos)

Sí, ¡Cómo no!
Sure, why not!

¿Me regala su firma? (Su firma aquí, por favor.)
Can I have your signature? (Please sign here.)

Por supuesto, Señorita.
Of course, Miss.

Bueno, aquí está su tarjeta y su ticket. Gracias por su visita. ¡Qué le vaya bien!
Okay, here is your card and your register receipt. May you go well.

Note: Here are some follow up comments:

1.) ¿Puedo empezar a marcar? This literally means "Can I begin to mark?". In this case the infinitive form of the verb "marcar" is used to mean "to register" or "to count".

2.) ¿Me permite su tarjeta? (¿Me presta su tarjeta?) The verb "permitir", "to allow" and "prestar", "to lend" are used for politeness instead of something more direct like "Dame su tarjeta" or "Déjame tener su tarjeta" which would sound very aggressive and impolite. Similarly we use "regalar" in "¿Me regala su firma?" to mean "Can you give me the gift of your signature?" instead of "¡Firma aquí!" or "Sign here!".

3.) ¿Desea donar los centavos? - Do you wish to donate the centavos? Since a Mexican centavo is only worth about a tenth of a U.S. penny people usually let the cashier round off the total to the peso and they donate the centavos to the Red Cross or to the "Bomberos" (Firemen) or whatever particular cause the supermarket happens to be sponsoring at the moment. You don't have to say "yes" but it will raise some eyebrows if you don't.

4.) Bueno, aquí está su tarjeta y su ticket. The word for "receipt" is actually "recibo" but that is used for a more formal or detailed receipt. A register receipt from a cash register is usually called a "ticket".

5.) ¡Qué le vaya bien! I am always a bit puzzled as to how to best express this in English. It literally means "May you go well" or "May you journey well". When I lived in Nuevo León people would say "¡Qué le vaya bien!…¡Ándale". The word ándale (or ándele) generally means "come on" or "hurry up" but it also can mean "Now you've got it!". When I buy something in a store and people said "say "¡Qué le vaya bien!…¡Ándale!" I always translate it for myself as "Y'all come back!" or "Come back soon!". Without the ándale appendage I consider it to mean "Y'all take it easy!".

Dialog - Supermarket Deli

Some of my family and friends are studying Spanish and to help them get a feel for certain situations I thought I would post a dialog now and then so they might practice and be prepared for the real thing. Going up to a supermarket deli counter and ordering some lunch meat is a simple task but it can be quite intimidating if you don't know the ropes. First of all there are usually a number of ladies behind the deli counter who will start calling out to you as you are approaching the deli counter. They address women as either Señora or Senorita depending upon secret signs which only women seem to know and and they address most men as "joven" which means "young man" no matter how old they are. I guess it is their attempt to either mock or flatter but knowing which one is also a secret. The first time I walked up to the deli counter I made a serious mistake. I told the woman that I wanted "un cuarto kilo" (about a half pound) of ham or at least I thought I did. She started slicing the ham and when she had sliced quite a bit more than what I thought should be enough I said, "¿Es un cuarto kilo?" (Is that a quarter kilogram?). She got very upset and told me that I had asked her for "cuatro kilos" (four kilograms) which is almost nine pounds. From then on I learned to ask in ""gramos" and I should have asked for "quinientos gramos" which is five hundred grams. Unless you state what kind of ham you want as I have shown in the note below they are also going to ask what brand that you want because there are so many brands of ham to choose from. Men seem to think that "ham is ham" but apparently women know better. You should learn the names of several brands and not do what I did at first which was to stand there like a dummy, stammer, and turn bright red.

So, here we go. You are walking up to the deli counter and she says:

Buenas tardes Señor. ¿Qué le gusta?
Good afternoon, Sir. What would you like?

Buenas tardes Señora. Quiero jamón de pierna baja en grasa y sal.
Good afternoon Ma'am. I want some ham that is low in fat and salt.

[Note: "jamón de pierna" translates literally as "leg ham" but it equates to the English word "ham" as in plain ham from a pig as opposed to "turkey ham" which would be "jamón de pavo" or "jamón ahumado" which is "smoked ham" or "jamón york" which is boiled ham, or "jamón serrano" which is cured ham. Also, many times the preferred brand is appended as in "jamón de pierna Fud" or "jamón de pierna Capistrano"]

Bueno. ¿Cuánto le gusta?
Okay, How much do you want?

Trescientos gramos por favor.
Three hundred grams please.

Muy bien. ¿Rabanada?
Very well. Sliced?

Sí, rabanada delgada.
Yes, sliced thin.

¿Rabanada así?
Sliced like this?

Sí, está bien.
Yes, it's okay.

¿Algo más Señor?
Anything else, Sir?

Sí, doscientos gramos de mortadela pero rabanada poquito más grueso.
Yes, two hundred grams of baloney but sliced a little thicker.

No problema, Señor. ¿Así?
No problem, Sir. Like this?

Perfecto.
That's perfect.

¿Algo más Señor?
Anything else, Sir?

No Señora, nada más. Es todo.
No, Ma'am, nothing more. That's everything.

Aquí está Señor. Ten un buen día.
Here you are sir. Have a nice day.

Gracias Señora, muy amable.
Thank you Ma'am, you are very kind.

De nada Señor. ¡Que le vaya bien!
You're welcome Sir. May things go well for you! (May you go well)

You should really practice this with a friend and alternate between being the deli lady and the customer until you are very comfortable with it. I can assure you that if you do this you will have no trouble at all your first time...at least not like I did.

Los Baños de Aguas Buenas

Today is the feast day of "Nuestra Señora de los Remedios" or "Our Lady of the Cures". La "Virgen de los Remedios" or "Virgin of the Cures" was the Virgin venerated by Hernán Cortes and his Spanish Conquistadores. I guess it is in the spirit of the day that I write about "taking the cure" yesterday at the hot springs near the City of Silao (see-LAU) which is not far from Irapuato (ee-rah-PUAH-toh). The last few days I had awoken with a kink in my lower back and finally I said to my wife, Gina", "Necesito ir a Aguas Buenas para sanar" ("I need to go to Aguas Buenas to get healed.") and she said "Bueno, ya vámanos." ("Okay then, let's go").

The City of Silao is located at the base of a mountain called Mount Cubilete which is the gateway to the Sierra de Guanajuato (gwan-ah-HWAH-toh) mountains. The word "Cubilete" (koo-bee-LEH-tay) means "tumbler" as in the little cup used to throw dice. The Rio Guanajuato runs along the base of Mt. Cubilete and up a ravine that leads to the cities of Marfíl (mahr-FEEL) and Guanajuato and the heights of Santa Rosa. There is a road that goes to the summit of Mt. Cubilete atop of which is a chapel and a 67 foot statue of Christ the King. About halfway up the mountain there is a community of about 700 souls called "Aguas Buenas". If you continue through Aguas Buenas you come to another little place called "Baños de Aguas Buenas" just below the beautiful church of Santa María Reina de los Mártires where the relics of the Mexican Martyrs of San Joaquin are kept. In this place you will find a "balneario". A "balneario can be anything from a "spa" to a place for family picnics but is usually associated with water in some way even if it is nothing more than a splash pool (chapoteadero). In the case of the Balneario de los Baños de Aguas Buenas it is associated with hot spring baths.

I could not think of a better name for El Balneario de los Baños de Aguas Buenas (The Good Waters Baths Spa) even if I tried. It is one of the most relaxing places that I have ever been. It is built on the ruins of a 16th century hacienda and it seems like time just stands still there. One of the prominent features left over from the hacienda is the capilla (chapel). It is about the same size and shape as the Capilla de la Cruz ( at "El Chorro") in San Miguel de Allende that was built in 1554 and it has the same type of high round sunken window. Unfortunately these days the old chapel at the balneario is used for a storeroom or something. To say the least the balneario is an eclectic place but that is one of its charms. There is a wading pool for the smaller kids and a swimming pool with a water slide for the older kids. The feature that I like the best is the bathing rooms. They each contain a big sunken tub and not much else besides a bench, a chair, a mirror, and some hooks to hang your clothes on. The balneario entrance fee of 50 pesos (25 for children) allows you an hour's soak in the tub. The natural hot water comes out of the tap at 110 degrees Fahrenheit which is just right. You can soap up and rinse off as much as you like. By the time I come out of a good soak in the tub I am squeaky clean, wrinkled as a prune, and as flexible as a rubber chicken.

After the bath it is nice to sit and listen to the music and watch the children play in the splash pool. Just outside the balneario there are women selling elotes (corn on the cob), tacos, fruits of all kinds, and other tempting delights. Just the smell of burning mesquite wood from their cooking fires will make you hungry and there is nothing better than kicking back with a snack after your bath. Whenever I feel wound up tight I head for a place like Aguas Buenas and take the cure. I try to do it at least once a month.

I will end this with a saying that the Mexican mothers use with their children when the children get a bump or bruise. I always think of this phrase when I go to "take the cure":

Sana, sana, colita de rana,
Si no sanas hoy sanarás mañana.

Heal, heal, little frog tail (tadpole)
If you don't heal today you will heal tomorrow.

Try it. It works like magic!

Dialog - The Sweater Mom

In México there is a fairly common saying: "Las habas se cuecen en todas partes" or "En todos lados se cuecen habas". The phrase literally means "Broad beans cook the same everywhere" or as we might say in English, "Things are the same all over". Yesterday I overheard the following conversation between my wife's sister and her 10 year old daughter:

"Oye hija, no olvides traer un suéter por si las moscas". ("Listen daughter, don't forget to take a sweater just in case".) [Note: "por si las moscas" is an idiomatic expression that means "just in case" and has nothing to do with flies (moscas)]

"¿Por qué Mamá?". ("Why Mother?")

"Porque ya está siguiendo tarde y después de que se meta el sol va a hacer mucho frío". ("Because it is already getting late and after the sun sets it will get very cold".)

"¡Pero Mamá!. Ninguna de mis compañeras va a traer un suéter". (But Mother, not one of my friends is going to bring a sweater".)

"Ni modo hija. ¡Haz lo que te dice tu Mamá!" ("It doesn't matter Daughter. Do what your Mother tells you!")

"¡Ay! Sí Mamá, lo que tu digas". ("Uhhhh! Okay Mother, whatever you say".)

Well, I had a "Sweater Mom" too. Whenever my Mom felt cold she made me put on a sweater. The thing is that my Mom was usually right and now that she is gone I miss her dearly. Peer pressure is one thing but common sense is another. So when you go out in the evening do what your Mom always told you…don't forget to take a sweater, or a jacket, or an umbrella. You already know what your mother would tell you. Just listen...

Rabanitos

I was thinking today how much I miss Snoopy and Charlie Brown. They were a big part of the lives of my generation, especially in the Sunday comics section. It has been more than eight years now since Charles Schultz died peacefully in his sleep on a Saturday night. It was just one day before the "Peanuts" comic strip stopped running and fifty years after it began. That is the spooky kind of thing that legends are made out of. Charles Schultz had a great sense of timing which I think a lot of people of his generation did. My own mother, whose name is Armella and who died of cancer a couple of years ago at age ninety two, asked to be carried to her kitchen several days before she died and there she supervised the cleaning out of her refrigerator so that when she died she could rest in peace knowing that all of her chores had gotten done. The older generation had a sense of duty and responsibility that we don't seem to relate to much anymore.

Imagine...Mr. Schultz accumulated fifty five million dollars just doodling every day and reminiscing about his childhood. When the strip first began in October of 1950 the critics said that it wouldn´t last because Schultz's drawing ability wasn't good enough and his characters were too crudely drawn. I guess he fooled them. In people years Charlie Brown would be about 58 years old by now. Sometimes I like to think of Charlie Brown and Lucy and Linus as being in heaven. I have only one problem, however. Would this mean that Snoopy is also in heaven with Charlie Brown or does he have to go to Doggie Heaven with his brother Spike? One other thing...whatever happened to the little red headed girl?

It is interesting to note that Schultz's comic strip wasn't called "Peanuts" in Mexico. It was called "Rabanitos" which means "little radishes" probably because in Spanish the word peanut is "cacahuate" and doesn't have the same sense of diminutive as it does in English. Most of the other names were the same, however, except for Charlie Brown who was called "Carlitos" and Peppermint Patty who was called "Piperita Patty". I guess that is because in Spanish the word for "peppermint" is is "menta" if talking about the flavor and if talking about the plant itself is "hierbabuena". I remember reading an article after Schultz's death that speculated on how Charlie Brown and his gang might have turned out if they had actually aged like we do during that period in real life. Charlie Brown would be well into his second marraige after a brief fling with the cute little red headed girl. He finally became the assistant general manager for the Consolidated Kite Company but his kite still keeps getting fouled up in trees during kite competition every year at the company picnics. Even so he has been named "Employee of the Month" at least twice during the last twenty years. Lucy was married and divorced three times before landing a spot as a radio psychologist and is now looking for a sponsor to produce her new TV show "Judge Lucy". Linus turned into a big "X Files" fan and spends his time conjuring up conspiracy theories and in spite of countless hours of psychiatric therapy he still believes in the Great Pumpkin. Pig Pen taught himself to play the guitar, joined the Grateful Dead, and then died of a drug overdose. Patty became a great woman athlete and shot a 76 in the Woman's PGA Golf Tournament. Schroeder is currently playing for the Boston Pops and Snoopy...well, Snoopy would be about 400 years old in the equivalent of dog years by now so you tell me where you think he might be.

Dancing Waters

Yesterday in the early evening my wife Gina said to me, "Vamos a dar una vuelta al centro" which means "Lets go mess around downtown a bit". That is how I would translate it into English. If you translate all the words literally it would be more like "We go to give a turn to the center". In any case we went and it was very pleasant as it usually is on Sunday evenings because that's when many families go downtown to stroll around the main plaza. We have a new dancing fountain in Irapuato and the waters dance to colored lights and music. It is a very nice show and best of all it is free.

Gina parked me on a bench as she often does and went off to buy an ice cream cone and chat with a friend that she hadn't seen in awhile and, as is my custom, I struck up a conversation with the old timer sitting next to me. He, too, had been parked there by his wife and was waiting for her to return. We had a nice chat about this, that, and the other thing, until a little old lady showed up toting a big bag filled with little boxes. It was his wife and as it turned out she is the local equivalent of the "Avon Lady" and she was selling personal grooming products. I should have seen this coming but I didn't. Anyway, her husband had been really nice to me and she was nice too as she launched into her spiel and I realized that I was not going to get away from them very easily without buying something. She showed me various things and getting a bit desperate I told her "Okay, I'll take this one. How much is it?" Her face lit up with a big smile and said "Only forty five pesos Señor" and I almost fell off the bench. Nevertheless, I paid her the money and she gave me a box with a bottle of men's cologne in it. They said "Thank you" and "Goodbye" and I slipped the box into another bag that I was carrying. Gina came back with an ice cream cone for me and we sat there a little while longer watching the people and the dancing waters and then we went home.

When we got home I went to the bedroom and took the box out of the bag and opened it and took out the bottle of cologne. I opened the bottle and took a wiff and it smelled like an old car seat that dozens of people had been farting in. I thought "Oh, no, what a waste of 45 pesos" and then I figured "What the heck, if the smell keeps the "zancudos" (mosquitoes) away it might be worth it". Then I thought "Hmmm, what if it attracts the little buggers?". That is when I made a fatal mistake. I left it lying out on top of the dresser. When Gina saw it she got very agitated. She asked me what it was and I told her that it was men's cologne. Then she asked me why all of a sudden I needed men's cologne and wanted to know if I was trying to attract "busconas". The verb "buscar" means "to look for" and a "buscona" is a woman who is out looking for a man. One time I made a horrible mistake when Gina asked me where I was going and I replied jokingly "Voy a buscar busconas" which means "I'm going out looking for "busconas". I spent a week in the dog house for that one. No more joking about about busconas for me.

I tried to explain to Gina how I had come to purchase the cologne but words failed me when she asked me how much I paid for it. When I told her, she went ballistic on me and said things that
wives usually say to husbands like "I leave you alone for just fifteen minutes and look what stupid things you go and do". I told her that I was sorry and that I wouldn't do it again and that I would throw the cologne away. She said "You will do no such thing. I will give it to my brother-in-law for Christmas". Now why didn't I think of that? Men and women sure think differently at times. I was reading my favorite columnist in "El Norte" (Catón) and he was telling a story about how men and women differ going all the way back to Adam and Eve. The first words that Adam spoke after God created him are not recorded in the Bible but it is reasonable to assume that it was some form of "Thanks be to God". Neither was it recorded what Eve said when God fashioned her out of one of Adam's ribs but it is fairly agreed upon among eminent scholars that her first words were "Look at me. I have absolutely NOTHING to wear!".

Pitufo

The other day I was wandering around the shop doing some random quality assurance checks and I came across a worker who was struggling because the space that he was working in was very small. I asked him if he needed anything and he told me that he needed a "pitufo" (pee-TOO-foh). I had never heard that word before and I asked him what a pitufo is and he told me that it is "un tipo de duende" or "a type of dwarf". I jotted the word down in the little notebook that I always carry so that I could check it out before I ever use it myself because the guys think it is great fun to play word games with this poor gringo. In Mexico, and probably just about everywhere else, you really shouldn't use any word that you aren't completely sure about. It could get you in a lot of trouble. One time, not long after arriving in Mexico, I was riding in a Volkswagen with another man and it started to rain. He reached for the dashboard and as soon as he touched it the little knob for the windhield wipers fell off and he groaned and said "Ayyyyy, se cayó la chingadera para las limpiaparabrisas" or "Oh, no, the knob for the windhield wipers fell
off". After we found it and got the windshield wipers working I asked him if the word "chingadera" meant "knob". He told me "No, Señor Bob, una chingadera puede ser cualquier cosa" or "No, Mr. Bob a "chingadera" can be just about anything". "Great", I thought, "I have just learned a another new very useful word". Later that day I was having dinner with the two Catholic priests with whom I was staying and for practice I said, "Padre, ¿me pasas la chingadera para la sal, por favor?" or "Padre, would you pass me the thing for the salt please?". Padre Humberto, the elder of the two priests, got very red in the face and I could see that he was quite agitated. He asked me to call the "thing" for the salt a "salero" and asked me to never use that other word again. He said that it was a word that people in polite society never use. I felt very embarrassed and the next day I felt even more embarrassed when I found out that anything with "ching" in it is very inappropriate in Spanish because of its vulgar association.

From then on I always made sure that I vetted a word thoroughly before I ever attempted to use it. As it turned out it is about 95 percent okay to use "pitufo". In most cases it simply means "Smurf" like those little blue peole in television cartoons. The Smurfs are a fictional group of small sky blue creatures created in 1958 by the Belgian cartoonist Peyo (Pierre Culliford). In French the Smurfs are called "Les Schtroumpfs". Now get this...Peyo said the word came to him when he asked a friend for salt during lunch and, struggling for the word in French, just blurted out, "passe-moi le schtroumpf" or "pass me the schtroumpf." Wow! If he had been eating lunch with my friend Padre Humberto at the time "Les Schtroumpfs" may have never been born. The cartoon series was eventually translated into 30 languages and in some of those languages, "schtroumpf" became "smurf". In Spanish the name "schtroumpf" became "Pitufo". The name derives from "Patufet", a slightly similar looking character of Catalonian folklore. A word of caution...the word "Pitufo" can also be used as a derogatory slang word to refer to a policeman wearing a blue uniform. Just remember not to use it around policemen and I think you will be okay.