Mexico Bob

Gong Xi Fa Cai

2012-01-22T11:17:00.001-06:00

恭喜发财 (gōngxǐ fācái)

Happy Chinese New Year!

The Year of the Dragon.

In Mandarin it is "Gong Xi Fa Cai"
(pronounced similar to "goong shee faa tsai")

In Cantonese it is "Gong Hey Fat Choy"
(pronounced similar to "goong hey faat choy")

It means "wishing you prosperity in the coming year".

Since we are all hoping for prosperity in 2012, and since today is the eve of the Chinese Spring Festival which is known in the West as "Chinese New Year" I say to every person on Earth who believes in peace and good will...

Gong Xi Fa Cai

2012 "Update"

2011-12-30T21:23:00.000-06:00

Last year at this time I decided to try a new type of New Year's resolution and allow myself to choose only one word to concentrate on in 2011. The word was "Ideate" (pronounced AHY-dee-aet) which is a verb that means "to form an idea of", "to think of", "to imagine" or "to conceive of". It is synonymous with "to dream", "to envision", "to fancy", to "fantasize", "to picture", "to visualize", "to conjure up", or "to see in your mind's eye". When used in the intransitive form (without an object) and in the imperative mood (command) it means "THINK!".

As it turned out it was a good resolution and the result is that I have "conjured up" all sorts of ideas about things that I would like to do before it's time to exit this life for the next great adventure. The word that I chose to continue this train of thought for the coming year is "Update" which is, of course, a verb that means to make something that was suitable for times gone by more suitable to the present and the future by adapting it to recent ideas. It is synonymous with "improve", "correct", "renew", "revise", "upgrade", "amend", "overhaul", "streamline", "modernize", "re-brand" and "contemporize". The first known use of the word goes back to 1941 but since it is such a forward looking word its age doesn't matter. Neither does mine. Last year I was thinking of retiring this year at sixty-four but then I checked a number of actuarial tables and they all seemed to agree that in the absence of divine intervention it is highly likely that I will live as long as seventy-nine years. Heck, there is still plenty of time to accomplish something positive so I think I will keep on working and not retire until I see the moving finger write upon the wall. They say that Mr.Death can walk no faster than three miles per hour. As long as you can still walk faster than that you'll be okay. Just don't look back!

The main thing that I realized this past year is that the pace of change is accelerating at such a high rate that five years from now the world as we know it will be turned upside down. With all the longing for the good old days there is no return to a way of life whose time has come and gone. I think that this fact is awfully hard for "Baby Boomers" to swallow. The more that I learn about history, the more I realize that the decline in the way of life that we were accustomed to is irreversible, especially in the short term. The past is still alive only through pretending, and I am talking about a past as recent as ten or fifteen years ago. People of the 1990's spoke a different language from a different age and we can wander through the melancholy of those ruins caught up in the longing of nostalgia, well watered by our tears, or we can get on with it. That is what my theme word "update" is all about. By the way, in Spanish the word is "actualizar".

If anyone is interested, the following is a partial list of the books that I read this past year that collectively raised my focus and my aspirations to a higher plane. I highly recommend all of them and they are all available for Amazon Kindle. I am excited about what the next few years may bring to those who prepare themselves and I invite you to join me in that regard.

Istanbul
by   Pamuk, Orhan

Jerusalem: The Biography
by Montefiore, Simon Sebag

The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable
by Taleb, Nassim Nicholas

The Information: A History, a Theory, a Flood
by Gleick, James

Secrets of Mental Math
by Shermer, Michael, and Benjamin, Arthur

Against the Gods: The Remarkable Story of Risk
by Bernstein, Peter L.

You Are Not So Smart
by McRaney, David

The Swerve: How the World Became Modern
by Greenblatt, Stephen

On the Nature of Things
by Lucretius

The Calculus Direct
by Weiss, John

Moonwalking with Einstein: The Art and Science of Remembering Everything
by Joshua Foer

Cod
by Kurlansky, Mark

Salt: A World History
by Kurlansky, Mark

Like my dear departed mother used to say,

"Onward ever, backward NEVER!".

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

.

A Christmas Fish Story

2011-12-28T16:01:00.001-06:00

A few days before Christmas my wife Gina and her sister Cheli (Araceli) went shopping for the ingredients to make the traditional Christmas Eve meal. They bought a smoked turkey (pavo ahumado), beef loin (lomo de res) and the ingredients for things like spaghetti with cream sauce and a dish called "romeritos" which consists of dried shrimp, sprigs of a wild plant known as "Romerito" (Seepweed in English), and potatoes all served in mole sauce. Cheli insisted that they also buy some salt codfish which they call "bacalao" because Nochebuena wouldn't be Nochebuena without bacalao.

The only problem with bacalao is that it takes a long time to prepare because you have to remove the salt that was used to preserve it. If you have ever been to a Christmas Eve supper where the guests took a bite of bacalao and then reached for something to drink you know that the bacalao was still salty. This dish goes back five hundred years or more to a time when the Basque fishermen had already discovered the cod-rich Grand Banks off of Newfoundland even before Columbus supposedly "discovered" America. Thus the dried and salted Atlantic Cod became a staple of Portuguese and Spanish cuisine and an important trade item. The Portuguese called the salted cod fish "bacalhau" and we know it in Mexico as "bacalao" which is also what it is called in Spain. When the French explorer Jacques Cartier "discovered" the mouth of the St. Lawrence River in 1534 while searching for the Northwest Passage to the Orient, he noted the presence of a thousand Basque boats fishing for cod. The Basques congregated at a place called Port aux Basques at the extreme southwestern tip Newfoundland. To this day both the Trans-Canada Highway and the Trans-Canada Trail have their start and end points in Port aux Basques.

As things turned out the task of removing the salt from the bacalao fell to me. To do it right you need to keep the bacalao in water in a cool place and change the water every three or four hours for a couple of days as the salt migrates to the surface. It is a bit like caring for a baby. One night I got thirsty just thinking about salt cod and I got out of bed to go to the kitchen for a drink of water. Gina woke up and asked me where I was going and I said, "I'm going to change the bacalao. I heard it crying". By the time Christmas Eve rolled around the bacalao was salt free but there was another problem. We were running out of time. Gina called Cheli and told her that if she wanted to eat bacalao she would have to cook it. Cheli was frantic because she was running out of time also but her husband Luis volunteered to cook the poor bacalao and so he sent their daughter Luis over to fetch it. All's well that ends well however, and the bacalao turned out to be delicious.

When people commented on how good the bacalao tasted both Luis and I claimed credit but Gina said "Este bacalao es como una misa de tres padres" or "This bacalao is like a mass with three priests" meaning that many people had a hand in the success of the bacalao. In the Catholic Church, especially in the old days, a solemn high mass required three priests and a bunch of altar boys and a choir and so this must have been a solemn high cod fish and THAT is my picturesque and colloquial phrase of the day.

Picturesque Speech

2011-12-27T20:19:00.002-06:00

When I was a kid growing up in Chicago, the bathroom was where I learned to write because the bathroom is where my father kept his latest copy of Reader's Digest Magazine. While I was sitting there and "concentrating" I would simultaneously peruse Reader's Digest and my favorite section was called "Towards More Picturesque Speech". I just love poetic and colloquial expressions and the turn of a good phrase. I would pick out the best examples and try to emulate them in my speech and writing. No doubt as a twelve year old I sounded a bit strange saying things at the dinner table like "Hey Pops, Spring is coming around the bend like a speed skater rounding the turn on smooth ice". My father would sometime pause with fork in mid-air and glance at me quizzically as if suddenly startled. Nevertheless I never got over my fondness for words.

Now that I live in Mexico I have the double pleasure of savoring the intricacies of language in another tongue. I am never fully dressed without a pen and some three by five cards in my pocket and my ear is always cocked to hear something new. Hardly a day goes by without an interesting scribble or two. I thought I might share a recent example with my fellow students of Spanish.

My mother-in-law, Carmelita, is the Director of a state sanctioned preschool and kindergarten. Just before Christmas she was holding a "kermes" at the "kinder". For those of you that might not know, a kermes is a type of fair held by churches and schools to raise funds. The word "kermess" in English originally derived from the Middle Dutch word "kercmisse", a combination of the words "kerc" (meaning church) and "misse" (meaning mass) and the word was adopted by the English, French, and others and it denoted the mass that was celebrated annually in honor of the local patron saint. The Spanish spelling "kermes" uses only one letter "s".

While Carmelita was preparing for the kermes her good friend Angeles stopped by to give her a hand with the "tómbola". This is another interesting word. It comes from the Italian word "tombolare" meaning "to tumble". In several countries a "tombola" is a raffle where the winning ticket is chosen from a rotating drum that is "tumbled" by means of a hand crank. In Italy, the Italian version of Bingo is called "Tombola". Here in Central Mexico a "tómbola" or "tómbola de beneficiencia" is a charitable raffle in which you win a prize if the ticket you have bought is chosen and the number on it matches the number on the prize. There is generally some kind of a prize for every ticket so nobody leaves unhappy and often people swap their prizes. When the tómbola was almost ready Carmelita said to Angeles,

Estoy in punto de abrir la puerta y hacer la cruz. Elige usted el primero premio.
I am just about to open the door a make the cross. You choose the first prize.

In actuality Carmelita rewarded her friend for helping her by letting her have one of the prizes. Angeles chose a Pyrex casserole dish and was very content. The interesting phase in this instance is "hacer la cruz". If you have ever gone to the market in Mexico early in the morning and happened to be the first customer you may have noticed that when you gave the little old lady your money she kissed the crossed thumb and finger of the hand that held the money. She was thanking God for the first sale of the day. Carmelita used the phrase "hacer la cruz" in a colloquial manner to mean that she was about to sell the first ticket.

"Hacer la cruz" should not be confused with the regular words for "making the sign of the cross" which are "persignarse" and "santiguarse". "Persignarse" is to cross oneself with small crosses on the forehead, lips, and chest and "Santiguarse" is to make a full head and torso sign of the cross. Santiguarse means to bless yourself. Persignarse means to sign yourself. I go into this in detail in my blog post: Persignarse versus Santiguarse

There is another use for "hacer la cruz", by the way, that you have to watch out for. It means to cross someone off your list or to dump someone and in this case the cruz that is referred to is the "X" that you make over their name. And now here's a bonus for you if you have followed me thus far. Sometimes when people are bantering words instead of saying "igualmente" meaning "you too" or "the same to you" to be playful they will say "iguanas y ranas" or "iguanas-ranas" which means "iguanas and frogs" as a kind of play on words. Yesterday my doctor said to me "Iguanas-ranas dijo el sapo" meaning "Iguanas and frogs said the toad". Try it out. You will make someone smile.

A Blue Christmas

2011-12-20T19:59:00.002-06:00

The colors that most people readily associate with Christmas are red and green. For a certain percentage of the population these days (including yours truly) the color blue seems more appropriate as in "I'm feeling blue". I have heard it said by some that the feeling is triggered by the diminished hours of sunlight during the Winter Solstice but perhaps it also has to do with disappointment coming from the unfulfilled expectations of prior Christmases. I don't know for sure except that thanks to a new word that I learned I have a better way of expressing the feeling.

I am reading a book by a famous Turkish author named Orhan Pamuk who received the Nobel Prize for Literature in 2006. The book is called "Istanbul: Memories and the City ". The author talks about the Turkish word "hüzün" that is pronounced "hoo-JOON" with the letter "J" sounding a bit like the "su" in the word "sure". It is generally translated into English as meaning "melancholy" or "longing" or "nostalgia". The meaning of "hüzün" is related to the description of the "black bile" or "black passion" of the ancient Greeks and can be caused by any number of things.

According to Orhan Pamuk "hüzün" is a special melancholy that binds the Istanbul Turkish community together in a collective feeling of nostalgia for the glory days of the past and the anguish over the increasing decay of the present state of affairs but nevertheless with a hopeful outlook for the future. The word "hüzün" originated in Arabic as a longing for God and it denotes a spiritual loss or separation. It is not the feeling of a single individual but rather it is the common emotion of millions of individuals who are suffering the same dark mood.

I think that we may be hearing more about this word "hüzün" in the coming year as the tensions mount over the presidential elections both in the United States and in Mexico. In both countries there seems to be a growing gulf between the the people with sufficient means to live comfortably and enjoy life and those who struggle for their daily bread or as they say here "el pan de cada día". I don't know where one would draw the line between the two. I have read recently that the average family in the United States needs an income of at least seventy-five thousand dollars per year to meet the criteria of "living comfortably". In Mexico it is no doubt somewhat below that amount but not by as much as you might think. Then there are the modestly rich and I say more power to them. It is their energy, intelligence, and vision that makes a good economy possible. They are no doubt the role model that many people aspire to emulate. I have no quarrel with that. In these uncertain times I think that all three groups can share the feeling of "hüzün".

There is one more group of people who I don't believe can even understand the melancholy of the other three. The word that I choose to describe them is "hubris". This word means "extreme haughtiness, pride, or arrogance indicative of a loss of contact with reality and an overestimation of one's own competence or capabilities and a complete lack of humility". It seems to me that when banks, corporations, and other institutions are labeled "too big to fail" they are tempting fate to the extent that their demise is inevitable and that they may have already begun their descent. Like the Titanic of one hundred years ago, all it will take is one big chunk of floating ice to bring them down. Being an optimist at heart I must have faith that they will not drag us all down with them like third class passengers in steerage. Thank God we have the Congress to save us, eh?

Eye for an Eye

2011-11-26T13:47:00.004-06:00

The other day my wife Gina went to visit a relative who has recently given birth to a baby girl and when she returned from the visit Gina exclaimed with incredulity "Ellos ya le pusieron un ojo de venado en su muñeca!" or "They already put a deer's eye on her wrist!". I was just as surprised as she was because the people involved are fairly middle class and well educated but apparently old superstitions and traditions die hard. The "ojo de venado" is an amulet made from the seed of a flowering vine and this seed is large and dark and about the size and shape of the eye of a deer. It's purpose is to ward off the "mal de ojo" or "evil eye" which is also called "el alojamiento". The word "alojamiento" means "habitation" or "lodging" as used in conjunction with the word "hotel" but in this particular case it means "something lodged in the eye".

The "evil eye" concept goes all the way back to the ancient Greeks and Romans and most of the time it refers to envy. It is mentioned several times in the Bible in both the Old and the New Testaments. For example, in Proverbs verse 23:6 (KJV) it says "Eat thou not the bread of him that hath an evil eye" and in Mark 7:22 (KJV) it lists as sins "Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness". The "evil eye" is also mentioned in the Holy Qur'an and is something that the Prophet Muhammad himself was very well acquainted with. Verse 51 of the Sūrat (Chapter) al-Qalam (The Pen) which is the 68th sura of the Qur'an says "Those who disbelieve would almost trip thee up with their eyes.” The Angel Gabriel read an incantation upon the Prophet to protect him from the evil eye.

In Mexico, "el mal de ojo" occurs when someone who is weak, or an infant or a child, is stared at by a person with a piercing glance especially if the stare is a result of jealousy or envy. The stare is said to make the affected person's spirit sick. The symptoms of "mal de ojo" include headaches, high fever, fretfulness, and in the case of children, stomach ache, weeping, and a refusal to eat or sleep. This infirmity is often referred to as "el aliacán". The standard cure for "el aliacán" is the "limpia de huevo" or "egg cleaning". Someone, usually a grandmother, will take an egg (preferably from a black feathered chicken if available) and pass the unbroken egg all over the body of the child while reciting either the Lord's Prayer or the Apostles Creed (whichever one is the local custom). Depending upon the specific situation sometimes they will use a bundle of an herb called "epazote" (Dysphania ambrosioides) instead of an egg. Afterward passing the egg over the body they crack open the egg and put it in a glass jar and set it under the bed (same with the epazote) and in the morning the egg will have become darker and one should be able to see one or more bubble-like "ojos" or "eyes". The epazote has no visible changes. The mother or grandmother then takes the egg (or the epazote) away from the house and throws it in a ditch over her shoulder and returns to the house being careful not to look back lest the "mal de ojo" return.

The "ojo de venado" is supposed to be an "apotropaic" (in English) which means "something to ward off evil". In Spanish it is called an "apotropaico". The charm is made from the dark brownish black seed of a plant whose botanical name is "Mucuna pruriens". In English it is generally called Velvet Bean or Cowhage. The beans grow in pods that have a covering of fine hair-like needles that are very irritating to the skin. Mucuna pruriens often grows near rivers or streams and when the pods pop open the seeds fall into the water and distribute themselves by floating downstream. They end up in the ocean and regularly wash up on beaches, where they are known as "sea beans" and collected as lucky pieces. They are round and flat and about the size of a U.S. quarter. The complete charm consists of the seed with a ribbon or yarn attached with which it is fastened to the body. Often there will also be a holy picture or religious symbol on the bean.

I can't say that I have ever felt the effects of an evil eye but I may have experienced something similar when I failed to put my dirty dishes in the sink or I tracked mud into the house. In those cases perhaps an "ojo de venado" might have helped help but I doubt it. About the only remedy that I have found effective for things like that is to apologize profusely and to beg forgiveness.

Abundance

2011-11-24T11:34:00.003-06:00

When I was a kid the pilgrims and the good ship Mayflower and the turkey were all symbols of Thanksgiving but I remember that the main symbol was a "Cornucopia" or "Horn of Plenty". In Spanish it is called a "Cuerno de la Abundancia". There are various legends about its origin but the main theme seems to center around Greek mythology. When the god Zeus was a baby he had to be protected from his father, Kronus, who had deposed his own father Uranus and feared being deposed in turn by his own son Zeus even though Zeus was still a baby. Kronus's sister Rhea hid the baby Zeus in a cave on Mount Ida on the island of Crete. He was cared for by a number of divine attendants, including the goddess of nourishment, Amalthea, who had the form of a goat and who fed baby Zeus with her milk. The baby Zeus was very strong and while playing with Amalthea he accidentally broke off one of her horns, which then had the divine power to provide unending nourishment, as Amalthea had provided to baby Zeus.

I find the counucopia appealing because I am "cornucopian" who believes that in addition to the continued progress and discoveries of mankind there is enough matter and energy on the Earth (by the grace of God) to provide for the Earth's population well into the future.

In the meantime I think it is fitting to pause and give thanks on this day just for being alive and for being part of this great puzzle. To those of you who can afford to celebrate Thanksgiving as well as those who find themselves in less than a thankful mood or in a difficult circumstance or environment, I salute you all in spirit and the hope for a brighter future for all of us.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

John Buridan's Committee

2011-11-20T20:29:00.003-06:00

There is an old philosophical story named after John Buridan who was a French priest and philosopher in the 14th century that somewhat describes the present situation of the budget "Super Committee" in Washington, D.C. The name of the story is "John Buridan's Donkey". It is actually a satire on John Buridan's philosophy of moral determinism which stated that God always encourages virtue and punishes evil and therefore man can determine his reward and punishment through his deeds. John Buridan's critics argued that the rewards and punishments are mainly the result of random events because without random events there can be no truly free will. Their position was that there is no intervention by God since He is not interested in limiting free will through rewards and punishments that would set limits on the free will of man in making choices.

Buridan claimed that man can exercise his free will by delaying his courses of action regarding good versus evil and thinking about the morality of his actions beforehand and that a moral person who is faced with alternative courses of action by the very definition of a "moral person" must always choose the greater good and for this reason be rewarded for his choice through the satisfaction of having done the right thing as well as other potential rewards both spiritual and temporal as judged appropriate by God.

His critics seized upon his exercise in free will through delay and moral reasoning by using the story of the donkey which they named after him. There are some minor variations in the story but the gist of it is that there is a donkey and on one side of him there is a bushel of oats and on the other side there is a bushel of rye. The donkey is very hungry but since the oats and the rye are equidistant from where he is standing and the donkey not possessing much by way of the power of reasoning, the subsequent long delay in choosing which one to eat results in the donkey's untimely death by starvation.

This problem of Buridan's donkey stated in terms of mathematics goes "A discrete decision based upon an input having a continuous range of values cannot be made within a bounded length of time", that is to say, that given this particular problem there can be no time limit in making the choice and this doesn't bode well for the unfortunate donkey since the choice can be made at any time approaching infinity. In digital electronics the problem is called "metastability" or "unstable equilibrium" which involves the amount of time of a system can remain stable. In metastable states, the circuit may be unable to settle into a stable "0" or "1" logic level within the time required for proper circuit operation. As a result, the circuit can act in unpredictable ways, and may lead to a system failure.

Hmmm, "inability to make a logical moral decision before the time runs out and serious consequences such as a system failure as a result". If that doesn't sound like the "Super Committee" problem then I don't know what does. I just hope that they make a decision for the "greater good" before the final gavel sounds or else we may have to relieve John Buridan of the donkey and rename it something else... like "John Boehner's Ass".

Good News from Googley

2011-09-25T18:44:00.003-05:00

Here in Mexico many people still pronounce the word "Google" like they would if it was a Spanish word and it sounds something like "GOOG-leh" or "GOOG-lay". No matter how you pronounce it though, the people from Google continue to amaze me. I was having trouble with my Firefox web browser and I had heard that the Google browser named "Chrome" is much more stable and even faster. I downloaded Google Chrome browser and installed it with no problem and found that it is similar to Firefox and that I could even import my Firefox bookmarks very easily. Not only that but there are plug-ins and add-ons available just like with Firefox.

"So what?" you might ask. Well, I'll tell you. I noticed that in the Google search engine in the Chrome browser there is a little microphone icon. If you hook up a microphone to your computer or if you already have one you can click on the microphone icon and then speak into your microphone and enunciate whatever you are looking for. In a flash it will provide the links just as if you had typed in the search parameter with your fingers. It works so well that it is scary. I played around with it and you can even use it as a calculator. For example, to convert 72 degrees Fahrenheit into degrees Centigrade all you have to do is click on the microphone and say "72 F in C" and it will return 22.2222222 Degrees Centigrade. Suppose that you want to know how many kilometers there are in 5.4 miles. Just "click" and say "5.4 miles in kilometers" and it will automatically return "5.4 miles = 8.6904576 kilometers". There is a whole host of mathematical functions that it will perform in response to your voice commands.

Now, here is something for students of Spanish. If you go to "Google Translate" in the Chrome browser you can speak the English sentence that you want to have translated into Spanish and it will return the Spanish translation. For example, if you click on the icon and say "I am going to the store" it will immediately return "Voy a la tienda" and then if you want to hear it in Spanish you just click on the little speaker icon and a pleasant voice will repeat the phrase so that you can hear how the words are pronounced.

While I was at my local Walmart stocking up on supplies from China I found a stand-alone microphone that is used for conference calls for 54 pesos or about $3.87 U.S. I just plugged it into the computer and it sits on the desk and it will pick up a voice from anywhere in the immediate vicinity without having to speak into it directly. Now I just tell Google what I need and it is delivered to me as if I were a king. Hey! I am a king! So then why doesn't somebody king me?

A failure to communicate

2011-09-23T21:11:00.002-05:00

In the 1967 movie “Cool Hand Luke” there is an unforgettable line that was used twice, once by the prison captain (played by Strother Martin), and once by Cool Hand Luke (played by Paul Newman). The line is:

What we got here is a failure to communicate!

Based upon some reading that I have been doing lately I discovered that I may have a failure in communication with myself…not my present self, but my future self. The theory goes that your present persona is not exactly the same as your future persona and may not be operating under the same set of circumstances. The emotional state, physical state, and environmental conditions surrounding your present self may be completely different from that of your future self. So how is it possible that our present self can communicate successfully with our future self?

I remember that when I was a little boy we actually did communicate successfully with our future selves through the U.S. mail, albeit that it was only one-way. Each spring at the end of the school year the Dominican nuns who taught at our school would require that we bring two unused “penny” postcards to school. In those days it only cost three cents to mail a letter and one cent to mail a postcard. The plain prepaid postcards were a manila color and they already had a one cent postage stamp printed on them. We would address these postcards to ourselves and on one of them we would remind ourselves to go to mass on the Feast of the Assumption on August 15th because it is a Catholic holy day of obligation…one of those days which the Church tells us we must celebrate in order to meet the minimum level of commitment to the Catholic faith. The Second postcard was to remind us of the date when school started up again after summer vacation. The nuns would mail the postcards a couple of days ahead of the target date and we would in this way notify our future selves of the event. A typical postcard from my present self to my future self would go something like this:

Dear Bobby,

Don’t forget that August 15th is the Feast of the assumption and you must go to mass because it is a holy day of obligation. I hope that you are having a wonderful summer vacation.

Your friend,

Bobby

Of course we forgot all about these postcards during the course of summer vacation and when they arrived in the mail it was a nice surprise. I always felt a little sad, however, that I couldn’t write back to my friend because he (me) was no longer there.

My solution to this inability to communicate effectively with my former self is to form a committee of present and former selves to impress upon my future self the course that we have collectively charted. Many of the decisions that we make regarding plans for our future are impulsive if not compulsive and are based upon the emotion, circumstance, or environment of the present. I guess that’s why some people say that you should “sleep on it” before you commit to a definite decision about anything.

I am going to try an experiment. Whenever I decide to make a commitment to do something I will start a log and record my present thoughts and feelings about the subject. Then I will wait a day or two and revisit the subject and note whether or not my new “present thoughts” coincide with my original “present thoughts” and make whatever adjustments necessary. After a few more of these exercises if I still believe that the commitment is worthwhile and desirable then my present self along with my committee of former selves will agree to commence. Every week or so thereafter I will call a meeting and review the log to see if the present results agree with former expectations and if not, an adjustment will be made. If at some point the thoughts of the present and former selves seem to indicate that the pursuit should be abandoned, the review process will continue for another week or so to see if the “committee” is still in agreement. In this way my future self cannot complain that the original commitment was not his but was something imposed upon him by my former self because in actuality he was with me every step of the way and hopefully…we will have no failure to communicate.

Hoe to the end of the row!

2011-09-21T21:06:00.002-05:00

In my job I am training an assistant who will take my place when I eventually retire. He is a very bright young engineer from the state of Veracruz. He is 25 years old and his name is Arturo. Among other things that I am teaching him I am helping him to improve his English. I made a pact with him that everyday I will teach him something but every day he must also teach me something. It is turning out to be a nice little game from which we both benefit. Today I made a comment in English about the necessity to complete projects to the last detail and I said that we must always "hoe to the end of the row". Then I needed to explain in Spanish what I meant by "hoe to the end of the row". There was only one problem. I couldn't remember the word for "hoe" in Spanish so I drew a picture of a hoe and Arturo said "Ahhh, un azadón". So once we established that the word for hoe is "azadón" (ah-zah-DOHN), I could get on with the explanation.

Naturally when talking about the hoe the subject of hoeing weeds came and that lead to a very interesting conversation. Arturo told me that labor for hoeing isn't paid for by the hour but by the "tarea". The equivalent English word for the Spanish "tarea" is generally "task" or "chore" and in the case of school children it means "homework". However when it is used in reference to farm labor it is a unit of measure used to denote area. Arturo told me that where he is from there are twenty tareas in one hectare and a hectare is a metric unit that is equal to about two and a half acres. He said that a man can hoe about four tareas in a normal day and five tareas if he works from sunup until early evening. That sounds just about right because I found some information from the University of California that states the average time to hoe an acre of a crop such as broccoli is twenty-two hours and four tareas is equal to about a half an acre so you can see that hoeing a half acre is a full day's work.

"Well", you might ask, What does all this hoeing pay?" The answer is like most othe things, "That depends". It is a negotiated price that depends on the type of crop, the availability of labor, the time of year, and other variables. Arturo did give me the current rate for cutting sugar cane and from that we might be able to make a good guess. He said that sugar cane harvesting is paid by the square meter but there are two rates. If the underbrush is burned off with a controlled fire before harvesting then the labor paid is forty centavos per square meter. If the underbrush isn't burned off first then the job pays a higher rate of fifty centavos per square meter. If we relate that to "tareas" we can calculate that since there are ten thousand square meters in a hectare and twenty tareas in a hectare then one tarea will equal five hundred square meters which at forty centavos per meter would yield twenty pesos per tarea and at fifty centavos would yield twenty-five pesos per tarea. There are about twelve two to three meter stalks stalks in each square meter and harvest entails cutting the stalks and removing the tops and leaves. If a man can cut four tareas of sugar cane in a day at the fifty centavo rate then he can make one hundred Mexican pesos or about seven dollars or so at the current exchange rate. That isn't much for a full day's work in the hot sun so please say a little prayer for the sugar cane workers the next time you sweeten up your cup of coffee.

Now, about hoeing to the end of the row, I hope that you enjoy this poem by Douglas Malloch published around 1926. The name of the poem is "Bill Brown".

Bill Brown

Bill Brown made a million, Bill Brown, think of that!

A boy, you remember, as poor as a rat.

Who hoed for the neighbors, did jobs by the day,

Well Bill's made a million, or near it, they say.

You can't understand it, well, neither could I.

But then I remembered, and now I know why.

The bell might be ringin', the dinner horn blow,

But Bill always hoed to the end of the row.

Bill worked for my father, you maybe recall.

He wasn't a wonder, not that, not at all.

He couldn't out-hoe me, nor cover more ground,

Or hoe any cleaner, or beat me around.

In fact I was better one way that I knew:

One toot from the kitchen, and home I would go,

But Bill always hoed to the end of the row.

We used to get hongry out there in the corn,

You talk about music, what equals a horn?

A horn yellin' dinner, tomatoes and beans,

And pork and potatoes, and gravy and greens.

I ain't blamin' no one, for quittin' on time,

To stop with the whistle, that ain't any crime.

But as for the million, well, this much I know:

That Bill always hoed to the end of the row!

Well Hellooooo Dali

2011-09-13T21:00:00.003-05:00

I read in the news where the Dali Lama recently visited Mexico and commented that contrary to what he expected from reading in the press he found Mexico to be a peaceful country with many friendly people. He went on to say that if he had just relied upon what he heard on the BBC and other news outlets he would have believed that Mexico was a violent country under constant attack with rampant bloodshed everywhere. However, one reporter pointed out that it is the duty of the media to report any kind of violence and to do anything less would be disingenuous. The reporter said that less reporting on violence in Mexico won't make it go away and that there is a phrase in Spanish that calls it “using your finger to block out the sun”.

For the benefit of my fellow students of Spanish who may not know the phrase, it is:

No se puede tapar el sol con un dedo.
The sun can't be covered with one finger.

In general it means that you can't correct a big problem with a small solution or in other words you can't minimize a serious situation by pretending that it doesn't exist.

Speaking of coverups...one of my favorite quotes that is attributed to Abraham Lincoln goes, "You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all of the people all of the time". That would be a good one to use on the current crop of politicians in Washington D.C., or as Japanese Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto said after the attack on Pearl Harbor, "I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve." I hope so. I hope that all the bickering in congress has awoken the giant to the extent that the American people get directly involved. I think it is high time for everyone to put aside their vain and petty differences long enough get behind President Obama and get the United States moving forward again. The rest of the world will follow.

Thank you for calling...

2011-09-11T09:57:00.002-05:00

The other day I encountered an intriguing video item from the AT&T Archives on the AT&T Tech Channel called "Now You Can Dial" about the change from operator assisted calling to the adoption of the dial telephone. The change took place around 1954 as a result of the development of the transistor in 1948 which made automatic switching systems possible. I remember the change very well. In those days we still received twice a day mail delivery that was very reliable so the telephone wasn't as important as it is today and was only used sparingly. I remember that we used "exchange names" in front of the phone numbers at that time. I still remember our phone number from when I was a little boy. It was "Capitol 7-3577". When we changed over to the dial phone it became "CA-7-3577". When my grandparents moved out to the newly created suburbs their new number had no letters. It was "299-2865". At the time we thought that was very strange and it took some time to get used to it. One thing that I am curious about. After they switched all the letters in the phone numbers over to letters why did they retain the letters? Do you suppose that the telephone company could foresee that one day we would be texting and using Twitter?

You should be able to view the video below. If not you can go directly to the AT&T page by clicking here.

I think therefore I "Khan"

2011-09-09T21:45:00.001-05:00

I have been very lax lately about updating my blog but not because I am lazy. I am busy learning new things. One of the things that I have been learning is the math involved in statistical analysis and probability distributions. That is something that I have always been interested in and I felt that if I didn't buckle down and learn it now then I never would. In searching for suitable study material I stumbled upon something called the "Khan Academy". It is a non-profit organization founded by a man named Salman Khan. He started out by making some You Tube videos to help his cousins with their homework and this activity blossomed into a full time teaching career using You Tube videos. The Kahn Academy now has over 2400 videos on a variety of subjects from math to biology, to civics, to chemistry, and many more. The current course that I am taking is covered by seventy videos that average about ten to twelve minutes each in length.

The thing about the Khan academy videos is that the teaching is great, the subject matter is very current, and you can learn at your own pace. You can also pause the videos whenever you want so that you can take notes and you can reverse them to repeat certain sections or you can replay them as many times as you wish to make sure that you understand. The nicest thing is that there is no charge for this. I love the format and I think this may say a lot about the future of teaching and learning. There is an overview of the Khan Academy in the form of a "TED" talk that you can access by clicking here. The home page of the Khan Academy can be accessed by clicking here. I am living proof that you "Khan" make an old dog learn new tricks and I urge you to check it out. In the meantime good luck and good learning. I'll see you at the top.

A Blitz for Blitzer

2011-08-20T10:29:00.006-05:00

Every day when I get home from work I flip on the boob tube to catch the latest world disaster while I peruse our daily newspaper to learn about whatever local crisis we may be having. I noticed that Wolf Blitzer of CNN always signs off on "The Situation Room" with something like "For our North American viewers John King will follow and for our international viewers we switch you now tho CNN International in Hong Kong" and then in Mexico we are switched to CNN World Report in Hong Kong. He continuously leaves Mexico out of North America. I am taken aback at this so I checked out what geographers consider to be the limits of North America. It is bordered to the north by the Arctic Ocean, to the east by the Atlantic Ocean, to the south by South America, and to the west by the Pacific Ocean. North America does not end at the Panama Canal either. The continent is delimited on the southeast by most geographers at the Darién watershed along the Colombia-Panama border which means that all of Panama is within North America.

Why would a supposedly credible newsman make such an erroneous distinction? I decided to write to him and suggest that he might be mistaken. I went to the Wolf Blitzer contact page which can be accessed at http://www.cnn.com/feedback/forms/form4.html?2 and lo and behold I found that the "contact us" page also divides the U.S. and Canada from the rest of the world. If you are writing from the U.S. or Canada there is a drop down box where you can click on your state or province. All other countries a lumped together in one long list. I found Mexico between a country called "Mayotte" that I never heard of and "Micronesia". It turns out that "Mayotte" is a tiny island belonging to France located in the northern Mozambique Channel in the Indian Ocean between Mozambique and Madagascar. There is also a box to check to tell Wolf whether your comment is positive or negative. Hmmm, which category do you think he reads? You can also e-mail him directly at wolf@cnn.com or Twitter him at @wolfblitzercnn. Either way however, I don't think he will include Mexico within North America without enough people pointing out his error and questioning whether it is a deliberate slight or just a gap in his understanding of what constitutes North America. Hasn't he ever heard of NAFTA, the North American Free Trade Agreement that includes Mexico, Canada, and the United States?

Sometimes I wonder about these news guys and their hidden agendas. Let's put the "blitz" on Blitzer and restore Mexico to her rightful place on the globe.

¡¡¡ Viva México !!!
¡¡¡ Viva America!!!
¡¡¡ Viva Canada !!!
¡¡¡ Viva North America !!!

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Oh yummy!

2011-08-18T13:30:00.002-05:00

It's time for a bit of slang today. In Mexican Spanish there are certain phrases called "modismos"(moh-DEEZ-mohs) that cannot be translated literally and you need to learn what a phrase means in total context and not just word for word. One example would be the phrase "echar de menos". The verb "echar" literally means "to throw" as in "to throw out" and "de menos" means "less" or "wanting" or "missing". Taken as an entire phrase or "modismo" the phrase "echar de menos" means "to miss someone".

Te voy a echar de menos.
I am going to miss you.

Te echaré de menos.
I will miss you.

Another interesting phase is "dormir a pierna suelta". Taken apart word for word, "dormir" is "to sleep", "pierna" means "leg", and suelta means "loose". Often "dormir a pierna suelta" is translated as "to sleep like a log" but that is not entirely correct because to "to sleep like a log" would be "dormir como un tronco". A better translation would be "to sleep soundly" because "dormir a pierna suelta" give the impression of sleeping very well with arms and legs extended all over as opposed to sleeping fretfully rolled up in a tight ball.

Esa noche dormí a pierna suelta y no oí nada.
That night I slept very soundly and I didn't hear anything.

Anoche dormí a pierna suelta y no me enteré de nada.
Last night I slept very soundly and I wasn't aware of anything.

So...as long as we are talking about sleeping, how would you say that you couldn't sleep? You could just say:

No pude dormir anoche.
I couldn't sleep last night.

Or...if you wanted to use a phrase similar to the English phrase "I couldn't sleep a wink" you could use the modismo "pegar las pestañas" meanig "to glue eyelashes shut".

No pude pegar las pestañas en toda la noche.
I couldn´t sleep a wink all night.

On the other hand...if you were "burning the midnight oil" you would use the modismo "quemarse las pestañas" or "burning the eyelashes" as in:

Anoche me estuve quemando las pestañas estudiando español.
Last night I burned the midnight oil studying Spanish.

But...what would you say if you want to take a nap? You could simply say "Voy a dormir una siesta" meaning "I amgoing to take a nap". Or...you could dress it up a bit with a modismo as in:

Voy a echar una pestañada.
I'm going to take a little nap. (I am going to shut my eyelashes for a bit.)

Voy a echar un coyotito.
I am going to take a quick little nap. (Note: "coyotito comes from the word "coyote" because coyotes are nocturnal animals that sleep only a few minutes at a time during the day.)

Voy a echar una jetita.
I am going to take a snooze. (Note: "jetita" comes from the word "jeta" meaning "mug face" or "slack face", or in other words the face of someone who is sleeping deeply.)

If you wake up a little crabby and woozy, and swollen faced from your nap you can say:

Me quedé bien jetón.
I am still half asleep and woozy.

Here is another modismo on a different subject. In English, when we have to walk somewhere, we say we went by "shank's mare" or "shank's pony" or we had to "hoof it". In Spanish they use the woud "pata" which means "hoof" or "paw" as in "andar a pata".

Voy a andar a pata.
I am going to walk. (I am going to hoof it.)

No tengo ni coche, ni moto, ni bicicleta, ni dinero para tomar un camión así que tengo que andar a pata a todos lados.
I have neither car, nor motorcycle, nor bicycle, nor money to take a bus so I have to hoof it everywhere.

That's about it for today except for a reminder that if you want to be hip you have to keep up with new phrases in Spanish just like you do in English. The latest modismo that I learned is "ñami ñami" (NYAH-mee NYA-mee). The word "ñami" means "milk" or "to milk" in the language of the Guarani people who are an indigenous people from South America's interior (Brazil, Argentina, Paraguay and Bolivia). Paraguayan Guarani is actually an official language of Paraguay. As I understand it, the youth of Chile started using the word "ñami" to describe a sexy looking young lady in a manner similar to how Mexican males sometimes use the word "mamacita" to mean the same. In Mexico the word "ñami" has taken on the meaning of anything delicious or "yummy" especially when it is repeated twice as in "ñami ñami" (or "yum-yum").

Ese plato de fresas con crema parece ñami ñami.
That plate of strawberries with cream looks yummy.

Ah, fresas con crema...ñami ñami.
Ah, strawberries with cream...yum-yum.

One final word. Modismos can add color to your Spanish and be lots of fun but you must memorize them carefully, practice them first with friends who can correct you if you go astray, and you should be judicious in their use. Go ahead and enjoy them but be careful.

Booby Fruit

2011-08-06T14:48:00.008-05:00

In my last post which was entitled "Fanny Fruit" I wrote about the Fig, the Mango Manila, and in particular, the Mango Petacón. Today I am writing about another favorite fruit of mine, the "Mamey Sapote" (mah-MAY sah-POH-tay) which is commonly called simply "mamey". The mamey sapote looks like a little brown football. Whenever I see one I have to stifle the urge to pick it up and throw a touchdown pass to my wife Gina. The problem is that the people in the market frown on this practice and so does Gina. The outer skin has a texture somewhat between sandpaper and the fuzz on a peach. To choose a mamey you scratch the outer skin with your fingernail. If it is ripe the inner skin will appear red. Even though the inner skin is red, if the mamey is still a bit firm you need to let it sit for a day or two (or three) until it becomes slightly soft to the touch. You open a mamey the same way you would open an avocado. First cut all around it lengthwise down to the seed and then separate the two halves. Inside you will find a smooth and creamy orange colored treat that tastes sweet and musky. Some people say that it tastes like a cross between pumpkin and sweet potato but I say that a mamey tastes just like a mamey...it has a distinct flavor all to its own. I like to enhance the flavor by squeezing lime juice over it. Mamey can also be incorporated into milkshakes, smoothies, ice cream, and fruit bars. Yum!

The mamey sapote is indigenous to Mexico and in the native Nahuatl language mamey sapote is "tetzontzapotl". The first part "tezon" comes from the native word for tezontle which is a red volcanic rock that was used for constructing temples and also used extensively by the Spanish during the colonial period as a general building material. The reddish brown color of tezontle is similar to the color of mamey. The second part of "tetzontzapotl" or "tzapotl" is a Nahuatl term for a soft, edible fruit and it is from "tzapotl" that we get "sapote". In fact the Latin taxonomic name Sapotaceae for the the plant family that contains the mamey was derived from "sapote". So, where did the name "mamey" come from? Well, that too, is an interesting story.

These days the genus and species names for the mamey sapote are "Pouteria sapota". There are 188 species that belong to the genus "Pouteria". The name comes from the term "pourama-pouteri" meaning "eggfruit" in the language of the natives on the northeast coast of South America. Originally, however, the taxonomic name for the mamey was "Achras mammosa" back in the early 1700's when the scientific names for the plants of Central and South America were still being sorted out. The word "achras" means "wild pear tree" in Latin and the word "mammosa" is formed from the Latin root mamma, meaning "breast", with the suffix -ose, which adds the meaning of "abounding in", "full of", or "rich in". There was a mythical Roman goddess named Fortuna Mammosa who was purported to have such qualities. Since the mamey fruit really does resemble a pendulous breast the transition from "mammosa" to "mamey" was only natural. That is why I call the mamey "booby fruit". I just love those boobies.

Fanny Fruit

2011-07-30T13:34:00.006-05:00

Here in the earthly paradise of Irapuato in Guanajuato, Mexico it is the season for fruit lovers. The figs in particular are ripe. I love to eat fresh figs which are called “higos” (HEE-gohs) in Spanish. When I was a boy growing up in Chicago the only fig that I was aware of was the brown paste-like substance that could be found inside of a Nabisco Fig Newton. You’re darn-tootin’ there is just no comparison between the taste of a fresh fig and a Fig Newton. A sweet fresh fig will win every time. In fact, the fig is one of the first fruits mentioned in the Bible (after the “forbidden fruit", of course) and the fig tree it is the third tree mentioned in Genesis, the first being the “Tree of Life” and the second being the “Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil”. The downside is that fresh figs are relatively expensive, even in Mexico, and when they are in-season and very ripe they spoil quickly and require delicate handling. Nevertheless, I would walk a mile for a fresh, ripe fig.

Another great fruit that is a lot cheaper than figs is the mango. The word “mango” is spelled the same in English and Spanish but in Spanish it is pronounced “MAHNG-oh” and not “MAYNG-oh” like we more or less pronounce it in English. The mango tree comes from India and there are many varieties. However, in the Midwestern United States, where I come from, some people still refer to bell peppers as “mangos”, especially in rural downstate Illinois and Indiana. That goes way back to the time when the only way that they could ship mangos, bell peppers, and other fruits and vegetables by rail was to first pickle them in vinegar. In the 19th century the phrase “to mango” something meant to pickle it.

In spite of there being many different varieties, or “ cultivars” of mangos, there are basically two shapes and the people here generally refer to mangos by either of two names, “manila” (mahn-EE-lah) and “petacón” (peht-ah-COHN). The mango manila originally came to Mexico from the Philippine Islands via the Spanish Pacific Galleon trade around the year 1565. It is a a small, flat, oval, medium size, green-to-yellow mango with a point called a beak. The mango petacón is a a large, sweet, round, somewhat oblong, and reddish-orange version of the fruit that is about twice the size of a mango manila and is often multi-colored to some extent in yellow, green, and red depending upon how ripe it is. Sometimes it is also called a mango "criollo" (cree-OH-yoh). In the supermarket the mango petacón often goes by yet some other name like mango "paraíso" (pahr-EYE-soh) meaning "paradise" or mango "florida" (flohr-EE-dah) because that particular cultivar was developed in the U.S. state of Florida. Nevertheless the word "petacón" encompasses all the mangos of the same relative shape, size, and color.

For me, the word "petacón" by itself is a very interesting word. To begin with, the root word, "petaca" can mean various things. Generally it means a container for something else. The word "petaca" comes from the native Náhuatl word "petlacalli", which means "caja de petate" in Spanish or "box made from petate". A "petate" is a mat made from dry leaves, or reeds, or grass. In the old days a mat of petate was carried by an "arriero" who was a person who transports goods using pack animals. At night he would unroll his petate and throw it down on the ground to sleep on while covering himself with his serape. If he died while on the trail they would roll him up in his petate and it became his coffin. The word "petaca" took on the meaning of a "covering" and it could refer to a petaca de pipa (tobacco pouch), petaca de purros (cigar case), petaca de cigarros (cigarette case), or a petaca de alcohol (hip flask or small bottle of booze). A petaca could also refer to a "cesto de mimbre" (wicker basket), a "baúl de cuero", (leather bound chest), or a "maleta de cuero" (leather briefcase or small leather bound suitcase).

In Mexico, if you use the plural form of petaca which is "petacas" (peh-TAH-kahs) it means "buttocks" or "rump" or in other words your "fanny". If you use "petaca" with the ending ón which indicates bigness as in "petacón" it has the meaning of big "rump" or "fanny". That is exactly what a pair of mangos petacones look like when placed side by side and viewed from an angle...fanny fruit!

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Do you Roma?

2011-07-26T20:54:00.003-05:00

In June of 2009 I wrote a piece entitled "Do you Zote?" about a very versatile bar soap that is just about everyone's favorite here in the Bajío region of Mexico where I live. I decided to write a companion piece about a popular laundry detergent that is made by the same company who makes Zote. The name of the detergent is "Roma" and it comes in plastic bags in quantities of half-kilo, one kilo, 4 kilos, and 10 kilos. The detergent is in granular form and it is mostly white in color with specks of blue. It is a basic laundry detergent and is less expensive than many other brands. We currently pay 22 pesos for a one kilo bag which is about $1.89 U.S. or in other words about 87 cents a pound. My wife Gina and her mother Carmelita swear by it and won't use anything else for washing both clothes and dishes except that they use Zote bar soap for the more delicate items like me, for instance. I shower with a bar of Zote every morning.

Many ladies here are in the habit of throwing a handful of Roma into a corner of the kitchen sink and they use it to wash dishes by just touching the dish rag to the detergent so that a little bit sticks to the rag. It makes great suds and a little bit of this detergent goes a long way. Roma isn't very hard on their skin either and it is also biodegradable and phosphate free. The listed ingredients are:

Cleaning Agent - Lineal Anionic Surfactant
Water Softener - Aluminosilicates and silicate
Soil Suspending Agent - C.M.C
Optical Brightener
Perfume

The company that makes Roma detergent and Zote bar soap is called "Fábrica de Jabón La Corona". It was founded in Mexico City in 1920 by a man named Esteban González. He named the company for a nearby public bath house called "La Corona". The company grew and grew and expanded into several plants and now employs over four thousand people people. Besides soaps, La Corona makes cooking oils, liquid cleaners, toothpastes, and fabric softeners. The company markets its products all over North America, Central and South America, and the Caribbean. The most amazing thing about both Roma and Zote and the other products made by La Corona is that there is no advertising. All of their sales are made through word of mouth and customer demand. In Mexico their market share is much higher than any of their closest competitors. They must be doing something right, eh? You just gotta go with a winner.

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The Blessing of the Rain

2011-07-23T21:55:00.004-05:00

There is a Mexican book author, poet, historian, and newspaper columnist named Armando Fuentes Aguirre (a.k.a. Catón) whom I consider my my friend and mentor although we only met once in person. True to my expectations he was one of the nicest, kindest, and interesting people whom I have ever had the pleasure to meet and I heartily shook hands with him to make sure that our worldlines were well connected. I have learned a lot of Spanish over the years just from reading his columns. I have also written about him at length on a previous post that you can access by clicking here.

Today his column "Mirador" contains a beautiful example of his prose and in the interest of introducing him to my fellow students of Spanish I have reproduced it here hoping that he won't mind. After the Spanish you will find my English translation. I had to use a little imagination and poetic license with the translation because if you just translate the "letter" of the Spanish and not the "spirit" the result in English is quite stilted and cannot even approach the beauty of the Spanish. No doubt that English is a very practical language but I am convinced that for shear beauty of expression Spanish is far superior.

MIRADOR
Armando Fuentes Aguirre

Diosito decidió de pronto volver a portarse bien, y se hizo lluvia en el Potrero.

La casa quedó llena con el aroma de la tierra mojada, más grato para nosotros que cualquier perfume. Hasta las piedras del camino parecían alegrarse, y bajo el agua fulguraban con brillos de piedras preciosas.

Abrí la ventana para que entrara el paisaje. En mi cuarto está ahora la nube, y están la montaña y el pino. Los muebles tatarabuelos parecen oír el gargarear de la gárgola, y el panzudo cofre que guarda antiguas escrituras y amarillentos papelorios se pone orondo como un rotundo caballero que ha comido y bebido a su placer.

De tierra y agua estamos hechos los humanos. La lluvia en el campo junta en nosotros esas dos materias, y las vuelve espíritu. Recibimos con gratitud la bendición. Afuera huele a tierra húmeda, y hay en los aposentos de la casa olor a alma mojada.

The Dear Lord decided to do a good turn and make it rain in El Potrero.

The house was filled with the smell of wet earth, more pleasing to us than any perfume. Even the rocks in the road seemed joyful and under the wetness they gleamed like precious stones.

I opened the window to let the outdoors in. In my room there is now a cloud and a mountain, and a pine tree. The great, great grandfather furniture seemed to hear the gurgling of the downspout, and the big fat chest that keeps the old writings and yellowed documents became self satisfied like a plump gentleman who has eaten and drank to his pleasure.

We humans are made of earth and water. The rain in the fields unites in us both of those elements and revives the spirit. We receive with gratitude the blessing. Outside it smells like moist earth and in the rooms of the house it smells like moist soul.

Web Page for Armando Fuentes Aguirre (Catón) http://www.caton.com.mx/

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Cyber Socialism

2011-07-17T15:34:00.003-05:00

I received a note from a contact in Pensacola, Florida this morning (hello tocayo) and he said something that has stuck with me all day. He said, "I'm not much of cyber socialist". Come to think of it, perhaps I may be a bit of a socialist in the political sense, but in the fraternal sense a cyber socialist I am not. I signed up for Facebook and Linkedin, and Twitter just to see what the fuss was all about but to be honest with you, beyond the novelty of trying something new and different I really don't understand the urge behind what is making people flock to social networking in greater and greater numbers. The problem with social networking is that it doesn't connect worldlines.

I have written about worldlines before. Albert Einstein had an interest in them in regard to his study of physics. A world line is the sequential path of a human through time and space that marks the history of a person, starting at the time and place of one's birth until their death. When we are born, our world line branches off from our mother's world line. When we die, the world lines of the atoms that make up our body disperse and move on. If you could actually see a world line it would look like a twisting meandering path with both tiny ringlets and big sweeping curves and with various zigzags and ups and downs in between. Imagine a child being born and the beginning of his or her world line. The path that the nurse takes as she carries the child from the delivery room to the nursery begins the world line but the earth is also rotating at the same time and so both of these movements are recorded. While the earth is rotating it is also moving around the sun and the sun is moving around the center of the Milky Way galaxy which is also moving through time and space and all of these movements become part of the child’s world line. No two world lines are alike except, perhaps, for Siamese twins. Everyone (and every thing) else has its own unique world line.

Whenever we touch somebody our world lines intersect. Take for example two people shaking hands. In the three seconds it takes for a one pump handshake the Earth rotates about six or seven miles on its axis and moves almost sixty miles in its orbit around the sun which moves about four hundred and fifty miles in its orbit around the Milky Way Galaxy while the galaxy itself moves over five hundred miles towards an area in space known as "The Great Attractor"...which I like to think of as God Himself. While the two people are holding hands during this long, yet rapid journey through time and space the handshaking event is marked by the intersection of their world lines. In this day and age of computers and gigabytes and nanoseconds you could transmit a great deal of information in those three seconds. This thought led to my realization that if you had a computer big enough, and fast enough, and a cosmic positioning system like out modern Global Positioning System (GPS), you could keep track of everything in the Universe. It seems to me that perhaps this is how God keeps track of everything and since we were created in His image and likeness we will probably all become very computer savvy someday.

There is just no substitute for personal contact or for being in the same place at the same time whether you are having dinner with someone or sharing the atmosphere with an entire crowd of people. Somehow you need to be within eyesight or earshot to register a worldline connection. I have an idea though. I remember reading "Brave New World" by Aldous Huxley many years ago. In this book he described the movie theaters of the future which he named "The Feelies". The seats in the Feelies will supposedly recline way back and the movie will be projected onto the ceiling. On each side of the seat there will be a brass knob and you will place your hands on these brass knobs and when the hero kisses the heroine you will be able to feel the kiss on your own lips. Now there is an interesting thought. Perhaps Mark Zuckerberg could incorporate that idea to make Facebook more socially interactive. It might actually cure one real problem with worldlines. When I was in high school at a Catholic high school for boys, the Vincentian Fathers always reminded us that the the human mouth is connected to the anus via a long tube consisting of the esophagus, stomach, intestines, and bowels, and that every time we kissed a girl we were in reality sucking on a thirty foot tube half filled with fecal matter. So, you see? It just follows that cyber kisses would be much more sanitary.

Happy Socializing!

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Red, Yellow, & Black

2011-05-30T13:35:00.004-05:00

This morning when I arrived at work I saw several people standing around and looking down at a couple of snakes that our watchman killed because he thought they were poisonous. When I took a look at the snakes I quickly dismissed the notion that they were poisonous but with this type of snake the mistake is quite common. In Florida and along the Gulf into Northeastern Mexico there is a snake called the Coral snake that has bands of red, yellow, and black along its body. It is quite venomous and there are several subspecies. In Texas it is called the "Texas Coral Snake" and in Mexico it is commonly called "El Coralillo" (Kohr-ah-LEE-yoh). However, there is a non-venomous snake called the "Scarlet King Snake" in English, and "El Serpiente Escarlata Real" in Spanish, that looks something like the Coral snake but with several differences.

The Scarlet King snake rarely gets over twenty inches in length while the Coral snake can grow to thirty inches or more. The bands of color are also different. The colors alternate red, yellow, black, yellow, on the Coral Snake and on the Scarlet King snake the colors are red, black, yellow, black. When I was a Boy Scout (fifty years ago) they taught us a little rhyme to help us tell the difference. It went:

Red to yellow
Kill a fellow.
Red to black
Venom lack.

In the photos below you can see a Coral snake that was killed by a laborer near Monterrey, Mexico where I was working in 1999. Below that there is a photo of one of the Scarlet King snakes that was killed today. The Scarlet King snake is a friend of man and a very beneficial little animal. The problem is that many people fear snakes so much that they usually kill them before they try to identify them. The poor little Scarlet King looks so much like his dangerous cousin the Coral, that in order to be on the safe side he usually gets the double "whammy"...OUCH!

Slipping and Sliding

2011-05-14T20:53:00.002-05:00

The other day my wife Gina went to the supermarket and there she bumped into an old friend who was a classmate in grammar school whom she hadn't seen in many years. After squealing and hugging like women do on such occasions they settled in for a nice chat and I thank goodness that I wasn't there in person to witness it because these reunions generally take at least a half an hour during which time I usually just stand there transferring my weight from one foot to the other and back again like an old milk wagon horse. Gina told the woman that she has a grandson and asked her old friend if she had any grandchildren. The woman told her that she had no grandchildren but she had two handsome sons in their mid twenties who hadn't married yet because they were looking for just the right girl. Gina asked her what they did for a living and her friend said that they were both between jobs right now but that they were very smart and had some very good prospective work lined up.

I told Gina that it sounded to me like the woman is a "mamá cuervo" or "mother crow" meaning someone who is always exaggerating the appearance and abilities of their children despite the obvious fact that that the kids aren't very attractive or bright and not doing very well. There is a cute little story about the background for the term "mamá cuervo" that I wrote about in November of 2008 You can read by clicking on "Stories 001 - Mamá Cuervo". Unmarried guys in their twenties who are still living at home and waiting for some great prospect to come along and fall into their laps are called "Ninis" (NEE-nees) here in Mexico. The word "nini" stands for "ni trabaja, ni estudia" or in other words "neither works nor studies". I asked Gina if that was the case with this lady's sons and Gina replied:

"Mira Bob, la vida es como la casa del jabonero...el que no cae resbala".
Look Bob, life is like the house of a soapmaker...he who doesn't fall, slips.

Picture a house where they are using the kitchen to make soap all day and everything is covered with a film of soap, especially the floor. Sooner or later everyone who lives there is going to slip or fall. The phrase is fairly common and it means that you never know what is going to happen in life and that we are all susceptible to problems. Gina went on to say:

"Una persona que carece de entendimiento menosprecia a su prójimo, pero una persona prudente calla."
A person who lacks understanding scorns their neighbor, but a prudent person keeps silent.

Gina is right. As my Ma always used to say, "If you can't find anything good to say about somebody then don't say anything at all. I hope that the lady's sons find great jobs very soon and marry fantastic women...and that takes care of THAT!

Blue, Blue, Blue...Where are you?

2011-04-22T12:18:00.003-05:00

My friend Benjamín Arredondo recently wrote about "Los Colores de la Litugia" (The Colores of the Liturgy) which you can read in Spanish by clicking on this link to his web page, "El Señor del Hospital". He did a splendid job and one thing that he mentioned piqued my curiosity. It is the fact that Spain and its former colonies are the only places (with a few minor exceptions) where the Catholic Church "officially"sanctions the use of the color blue for vestments used in the mass and only then for the Feast of the Immaculate Conception on December 8th. I couldn't help thinking "Why only Spain and her former colonies?" and "What is so special about the color blue?" Well, I am neither a theologian nor an historian but you might be interested to hear about what I learned while digging around in the attic of history.

During the first thousand years or so there were no specific documented rules for colors of the Liturgy. It was merely a matter of local custom. It wasn't until about the year 1200 that Pope Innocent III mentioned the use of five basic colors which were, White, Red, Green,Violet, and Black and it wasn't until 1570 that Pope Pius V introduced a specific color scheme to be followed by everyone in the Church or more specifically, the Roman Rite of the Catholic Church. The colors were (and still are); "albus" (white), "ruber" (red) viridis (green) "violaceus (violet) "niger" (black), "rosaceus" (rose), "argentum " (silver) and "aurum" (gold). No mention of blue. Why? Well, it seems that in the early days of the church the color blue was associated with Eve as the "woman's color" and the color red was associated with Adam (and Jesus Christ) as the "man's color". Because Eve tempted Adam to eat of the forbidden fruit some of the early church leaders felt that women were weaker intellectually and more susceptible to Satan's charms. Therefore, as a religious symbol the use if blue was avoided in certain locations such as before the altar. However, since the color blue was the color of women and Mary the Mother of Jesus is a woman, the church had to develop a limited acceptance of the color blue.

Let me pause for a moment and say something further regarding this thing about red being a man's color and blue being a woman's color. Before the turn if the twentieth century almost all baby and small children's clothing in the United States and elsewhere was white. The garments were made of cotton fibers and they were usually cleaned by boiling with lye soap. It wasn't until about World War I when the fabrics, the soaps, and color fast dyes were improved the the point where colored fabrics for children's clothes became practical. The trend toward colors was accelerated by the fact that most children's clothing was handed down from sibling to sibling but the marketing people discovered that they could double the sales of new clothing by advertising one color for boy's clothing and another color for girl's clothing...but here's the strange part. They chose pink for boys because it was a watered down version of red, the color of men. They chose light blue for girls because it was a watered down version of ultramarine blue, or the gemstone "Lapis Lazuli", the color of the Blessed Virgin Mary. By the way, the word "lapis" means stone in Latin and "lazuli" comes from the name "Lāzhward" which is the name of the place in Afghanistan where lapis lazuli is found. The Spanish word for blue, "azul" derives from "lazuli" as does the English word "azure". In the 1930's the Nazis in Germany began to require known homosexuals to wear a pink triangular identification badge and that is when some people say that pink became associated with the effeminate. I don't know if that is the real reason for the switch but by the end of World War II the colors pink and blue had done a complete flip-flop.

At a fairly early period in church history there was a question about whether or not the Blessed Virgin was conceived with the original sin of Eve because it would seen to be unsuitable for Our Lord to have been born of a woman with a sinful nature. After all, didn't the angel Gabriel say to Mary, "Hail Mary, full of grace" (Luke 1:28)? Many people believed in the Immaculate Conception of Mary long before Pope Pius IX (Pius the Ninth) declared it to be church dogma in 1854. The totally sin free nature of Mary was a controversial subject over many centuries with some theologians believing that Mary was conceived without original sin and others believing that like Saint John the Baptist, she was sanctified in her mother's womb before birth as opposed to being free of original sin at the moment of conception. In any case Pius IX put it all to rest after declaring the Immaculate Conception dogma. He pretty much closed the book on that subject since his other lasting contribution was the invocation of the ecumenical council Vatican One, which promulgated the definition of Papal infallibility. The feast of the Immaculate Conception is celebrated on December 8th because it is exactly nine months before September 8th which is the day in which Mary's birth is celebrated. Pope Pius IX granted Spain and its former colonies the right to use blue as a liturgical color only on the Feast of the Immaculate Conception because Spain had already been doing just that under the Spanish Mozarabic Rite for at least three centuries. Supposedly Mexico also has permission to use blue on the feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe on December 12th but I could find no specific reference for that. Besides, this is Mexico, and the people here will do what they feel is appropriate and ask forgiveness later.

It is my belief that the color of the vestments and other trivial matters are not important. These little picky rules and controversies about what is allowed and what isn't allowed are just a distraction. What matters the most, especially at this Easter Season, is the fact and the belief that:

“Christ has died, Christ is risen, Christ will come again.”

Mortem tuam annuntiamus, Domine, et tuam resurrectionem confitemur, donec venias.

“LORD, by your cross and resurrection you have set us free. You are the Savior of the world.”

AMEN!

Seasonal Programming Note:

2011-04-17T12:10:00.002-05:00

The Jewish holiday of Pesach, or Passover, falls on the Hebrew calendar dates of Nissan 15-22 which this year begin on Monday April 18th on the Gregorian Calendar and coincide with the Western Christian Holy Week (Semana Santa in Mexico). It also just so happens that this year the date of Greek Orthodox Holy Week and Easter Sunday (Pascua in Mexico) are the same as the Western Church which is not always the case. It is my belief that we should pay attention to the religious observances of others and have the same respect for the beliefs of all people as we would have them respect ours. In that spirit to all my Jewish friends I say "Chag sa'may'ach". To all of my Muslim brothers and sisters for whom I have the same respect I say As-Salāmu `Alaykum (السلام عليكم). To my Hindu family I say "Namaste" and to everyone else I say, "May God be with you and may you keep peace always in your heart".

David, Ann, Dick, Jane, & the Bear

2011-04-08T16:49:00.008-05:00

When I was a little kid back in the early 1950's at Our Lady of Grace Catholic School in the Logan Square Neighborhood of Chicago, I learned to read with the aid of a little book with the pretentious name of "Here We Come, This is Our Home, Here We Are Again". It was the story of David and Ann, two lovely white Catholic children who lived with their wonderful parents named Mother and Father in a nice home in great neighborhood. In fact, Mother and Father looked a lot like June and Ward Cleaver of "Leaver to Beaver" fame. As I recall, the little book started out with very simple sentences in which very short words were repeated many, many times as David and Ann were at play under the watchful eyes of Mother and Father. For example, Ann would be swinging on a swing and David would say, "Go up, Ann. Go up, up, up. Go, Ann, go". Then it would be Ann's turn to watch David roller skate and she would say, "Go David, go, go, go. Look Mother, look Father. See David. See David go." We were positively thrilled that we were learning to read and we would read the story of David and Ann to anyone who would listen. My parents had four children and we all started off with David and Ann and we used to drive my father nuts.

The beginning of the last century brought a great influx of Catholics to America. They came from countries like Ireland, Italy, Poland, and Czechoslovakia among others. The Catholic church spent the first twenty or thirty years of the Twentieth Century building a parochial school system to meet the needs of the children of the immigrants that would include Catholic doctrine in the curriculum. In the aftermath of World War One there was a general distrust of the Catholic immigrants as the American public opinion had begun to seize upon the idea that true Americanism entailed rejection of all foreign values . The Catholic Church in America found itself in a decidedly defensive position and adopted a progressive stance that defines American Catholics to this day. Out of this scenario were born David and Ann to prove that a Catholic education was right in line with American standards and values. The David and Ann series of readers was even named "The Faith and Freedom Readers" in order to tie the Catholic faith to American patriotism. In contrast, The Public School System (or "the heathen children" as we sometimes jokingly called them) had the Sally, Dick and Jane "Curriculum Foundation Series," designed primarily by Dr. William S. Gray and William H. Elson around 1930. The most famous phrase from that series was "See Spot run".

After the Mexican Revolution the Mexican Constitution was re-written in 1917 to include the provision that elementary education must be compulsory and that all education provided by the government must be free. Furthermore, the education should be designed to develop harmoniously all the faculties of the human being and should foster in each citizen a love of country and a consciousness of international solidarity, in regard to independence and justice. This was all well and good but the students were required to purchase their own books and many of these books were expensive beyond their reach and at the same time of dubious origin and quality. There were a number of important men who realized that access to good books would be a key ingredient in the education of the populace. One of these men was José Vasconcelos Calderón who was a Mexican writer, philosopher and politician. He was one of the most influential and controversial personalities in the development of modern Mexico and he was the driving force behind many efforts to make education accessible to everyone. He created the Secretariat of Public Education (SEP), in 1921 and later directed the National Library of Mexico in 1940. It is ironical that he died in June of 1959, just four months after Mexican President López Mateos created the National Commission of Free Textbooks. One year later in 1960 the free textbooks began flowing to the students. The first of these textbooks were reading primers.

The name of the book was "Mi libro de Primer Año" (My Book of First Year) and it contained a total of 192 pages and was 18 centimeters by 25 by 25 centimeters in size (approx 7" x 10"). About 1,100,000 books were printed for the first edition and by the end of the first year 17,354,000 books in total had been printed and distributed including books for the second, third, and fourth grades. The front cover of "Mi libro de Primer Año" at first had pictures of national heroes but later on displayed a famous picture called "La Patria" that was painted by Jorge González Camarena. It depicts a protective mother figure, a woman with strong open arms yet at the same time she is sheltered by the wings of the Mexican Eagle. In her left hand she holds the tricolor Mexican flag and in her right hand she holds up a book that indicates her apparent wisdom (see image below).

The difference between the David and Ann, Dick and Jane books of the United States And the Mexican book was that the former focused on white, middle class, and idyllic family settings while the later focused on simple things that all children could relate to no matter what their status. If you mention the phrase "Ese oso se asea así" to just about any Mexicano or Mexicana in their 40's or 50's I am sure that you will evoke a smile. One of the first lessons goes like this:

El Oso.
The Bear

Ese oso.
That bear.

Se asea así.
He cleans himself like so.

Sí se asea.
Yes he cleans himself.

Así es su oso.
So this is your bear.

Another goes like this:

La Pelota.
The ball.

Pepe pide la pelota.
Pepe calls for the ball.

Lupe se la pasa.
Lupe passes it.

Luis pisa la pelota.
Luis kicks the ball.

La pelota salta alto.
The ball jumps high.

La pelota es de todos.
The ball belongs to everyone.

The authors use a story by way of introduction that sets the theme for the book. I thought it might be nice to include the story here here for my fellow students of Mexican Spanish.

Todos los días, al terminar las clases, los niños atravesaban la calle y se detenían frente al puesto de juguetes, que contemplaban con avidez.
Every day when classes were over the children crossed the street and stopped in front of the toy shop where they eagerly looked at the toys.

"Mira qué bonita muñeca", decía Maruca.
“Look at that beautiful doll”, Maruca was saying.

"Sí", Anita decía, "pero a mí me gusta más aquel osito".
“Yes, Anita was saying, but I like that little bear more”.

"¡Bonitos soldados! Tienen uniformes y cascos de verdad."
"Beautiful soldiers! They have real uniforms and helmets."

"Cuando yo pueda", Luis comentó una vez, "compraré aquella máquina. ¡Me gusta tanto!"
“When I am able”, Luis once said, “I will buy that steam engine. I like it a lot!

Y pasaban las semanas, y los niños seguían admirando los juguetes y repartiéndoselos con el deseo.
And the weeks were passing, and the children continued admiring the toys and sharing their desires.

Cierto día, Luis, el mayor del grupo, dijo a sus amigos:
One day, Luis, the oldest of the group, said to his friends:

"Creo que, si todos ayudamos, poco a poco podremos ser dueños de los juguetes que más nos gustan. Miren: desde este domingo ahorraremos algunos centavos de lo que nos dan para comprar dulces; los pondremos en una alcancía, y cuando se reúna la cantidad necesaria, compraremos el juguete que prefiera alguno de nosotros. Después volveremos a reunir nueva cantidad y compraremos el juguete para otro, y así hasta comprar los de todos. Yo seré el último.”
"I believe that if everyone cooperates, little by little we can be owners of the toys that we like the best. Look...beginning this Sunday we will save some of the pennies that they give us to buy candy...we can put them in a piggy bank, and when the necessary quantity is raised we will buy the toy that one of us would like. After that we will go back to collecting a new quantity and we will buy a toy for another, and so on until one for everyone is bought. I will go last."

No hubo quien no celebrase entusiasmado la idea de Luis ni quien rehusara ahorrar.
There wasn’t anyone who didn’t enthusiastically entertain the idea of Luis nor anyone who refused to save.

Se compró primero el osito para Anita, luego los soldados para Carlos, después la sala de Lola. Pero algunos niños vieron con tristeza que las semanas volvián a correr sin que ellos tuvieran sus juguetes. Luis les dijo entonces:
First a Little bear was purchased for Anita and then the soldiers for Carlos and after that the doll furniture for Lola. But some children watched the weeks go by with sadness without having received their toys. Then Luis said:

“Compraremos una pelota. De esta manera, mientras llega nuestro turno, juntos podremos jugar y divertirnos.”
"We will buy a ball. This way while we are waiting our turn we can play together and have fun”.

Así lo hicieron, y, a partir de entonces, todas las tardes jugaban un rato al salir de la escuela.
That’s what they did and from then on every afternoon they played for awhile after leaving school.

Un día, brincando tras la pelota, Juanito se cayó. Luis estuvo a punto de tropezar con él, y para no cuasarle daño lo evitó tan bruscamente que se lastimó una pierna. Sus compañeros lo alzaron casi en brazos y lo llevaron a su casa. El doctor dispuso que guardara reposo.
One day, jumping after the ball, little Johnny fell down. Luis was about to trip over him and so as not to harm him he stepped aside brusquely and hurt his leg. His friends lifted him up practically in their arms and took him home. The doctor ordered that he should rest.

Los amigos de Luis resolvieron entonces, para agradecerle lo mucho que hacía por ellos, comprarle esa semana la máquina que tanto le gustaba, y el viernes siguiente, al visitarlo, la sorpresa resultó muy agradable.
The friends of Luis then decided, in order to thank him for all he had done for them, to purchase for him this week the steam engine that he liked so much, and the next Friday upon visiting him the surprise that resulted was very pleasant.

Atentísimos estaban todos viendo correr la máquina, cuando llegó el papá de Luis que era marinero, y su esposa lo entró de la buena acción de los amiguitos y amiguitas de su hijo.
They were all very intently watching the steam engine run when Luis’s father, who was a sailor, and his wife arrived and discovered the good deed of the little boy and girl friends of Luis.

“Es necesario premiar a estos niños por su conducta”, dijo el papá, y, en efecto, así que Luis hubo sanado, los llevó al circo, donde pasaron la tarde muy felices. Además, al terminar la función, el papá se acercó con ellos al puesto de los juguetes y les compró los que más habían deseado.
“It is necessary to reward these children for their conduct", said the father, and so as soon as Luis was better he took them to the circus where the spent a very happy afternoon. Moreover, when they were done with that he gathered them together at the toy shop and he bought the toys that they most desired.

Note: It was customary (and still is) for the father (papá), or the godfather (padrino) or the grandfather (abuelo) to give the children some coins on Sunday for a teat. The children actually call this money their "domingo" (Sunday) and politely, and sometimes not so politely "Piden su domingo" or "Ask for their treat money" which the children in the USA would refer to as their "allowance".

Also, the word "máquina" or "machine" in English is short for "máquina de vapor" which means "steam engine". Likewise the word "sala" refers to "living room" but here it means a set of doll furniture.

The little stories get progressively longer and document the trip to the circus. All in all it is a charming little book and I like it very much.

Archie in Spanish

2011-03-20T09:53:00.003-06:00

In January of 2009 I posted a blog titled "Learning Spanish with Bart and Archie". I wrote about how much fun it is to read comic books in Spanish as an aid in learning Spanish dialog and I gave some links to online material but unfortunately the links are now outdated. However, I would like to pass on a new link to Creators.com where you can get a daily dose of "Archie" in Spanish and also "B.C.", "The Wizard of Id", "Heathcliff", "Rugrats", and "Girls and Sports"...all in Spanish with no strings attached. You can even subscribe to them with your favorite RSS reader (I use Google Reader) to receive them every day and automatically for free. Whether you are a beginner or an advanced student of Spanish you will get both a lesson and a chuckle at the same time. I urge you to take advantage of this. You can't beat it!

Here is the link: "Archie in Spanish"

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Hello Moon!

2011-03-18T12:41:00.003-06:00

There is a great blog that I follow called "Starts with a Bang" written by Ethan Siegel who is a theoretical astrophysicist currently teaching at Lewis & Clark College in Portland, Oregon. Today's blog is titled "Supermoon" and in it he explains that the moon will be exactly 100% full on Saturday the 19th (tomorrow) and since the moon will be in "perigee" in its elliptical orbit around the earth, the full moon will be the closest that it has been to Earth since 1992...19 years ago. Combine that with the Spring Equinox on Sunday and you have a really auspicious astronomical event. The full moon will appear about ten to twelve percent larger than it normally does and it should be a very romantic sight this evening and for the next couple of nights. It would be a good opportunity to cuddle with your significant other and a glass of your favorite aphrodisiac.

In the words of Laozi (Lao Tzu), the famous old Chinese poet and founder of Taoism,

Ju tou wang ming yue
I lift my head, and look at the bright moon.

Di tou si guxiang
I bow my head, and think of my old home.

If you would like more details about the full moon, click here.

Advice from the past...

2011-03-06T12:04:00.002-06:00

I picked this up from the blog of my favorite artist, James Gurney, the author of the Dinotopia books and "Color and Light". It is about advice coming to us through time and space (and You Tube) from philosopher Bertrand Russel, whom I consider to be one of the smartest and best educated people of modern times. In 1959, Bertrand Russell had two pieces of advice for the future: In intellectual pursuits, pay attention to the facts. In moral matters, consider that love is wise and that hatred is foolish. For me, watching his face and hearing his voice from beyond the grave was a profound experience and I highly recommend this intellectual food for thought. I don't know how anyone other than Bertrand Russel could have said it better.

It won't be long now...

2011-02-17T07:37:00.002-06:00

Last night while I was sleeping I had a dream in which I was trying to look something up in Google and I could not get a connection. All I could get was the "404 Not Found" error message. This has happened in several dreams already and it is very frustrating. I wish that Google would do something about it. On second thought, they are probable working furiously on this problem right now. It's because of that unavoidable invisible hand (or "greedy ghost") in the marketplace. There is so much competition in cyberspace that high expectations keep people dreaming the impossible dream. I hear that Microsoft plans to have connections all over Hell in the very near future. I hope that Google gets to Heaven first. Come on Google, let's get cracking. I want to be able to lay me down to sleep, enter dreamland, and say, "Hello Google, get me Heaven, I want to talk to Ma".

Valentine Tax

2011-02-14T10:18:00.002-06:00

This morning when I was driving to work I stopped at a florist to take care of one of my "quehaceres" (kay-ah-SEHR-ess) or "things I have to do". As I entered the shop the owner said:

Buenos días señor. ¿En qué lo puedo servir?
Good morning sir. How can I help you?

I replied:

Buenos días. Estoy para pagar mi impuesto.
Good morning. I am here to pay my tax.

The owner responded with a puzzled look:

¿Impuesto? ¿Qué impuesto?

I said:

Pues, el impuesto de San Valentín !Claro!
Why, my Saint Valentine tax, of course!

At this point everyone in the shop burst out laughing. You know, I am really not into this St. Valentine thing but I am smart enough to realize that women are and the first rule of the game is to stay in the game. I randomly chose a flower arrangement of yellow and white flowers and had him throw in a big red rose to absolutely guarantee that I receive my "besote" (beh-SOH-tay) or "big kiss" and had him deliver it to where my wife works along with a little card upon which I scribbled sweet nothings. You guys out there who don't play the game, I feel sorry for you. If you still just don't get it...you probably won't get any...

What's the Fuss?

2011-02-07T17:23:00.002-06:00

My father, George, had a favorite saying. Whenever he (or I) learned something the hard way he would always say, “Too old too soon, too smart too late”. Those words used to irritate me to no end when I was a teenager but now when I think about them they make a lot more sense than they used to. In Spanish one might say “El hombre se hace viejo muy pronto y sabio demasiado tarde”. Now that I am as old as my father used to be I am starting to have more and more of those "déjà vu" moments...you know what I mean,...the experience of feeling certain that one has already experienced in the past something that is happening right now. The other day I started thinking, "Hey, wait a minute! What happened in the past when the economy took a dive?". The memory of several such events came back to haunt me. The government inflated the money to pay the debts with cheaper dollars and everything went up in price except the wages of the working poor and the lower middle class. That's why many of the moms had no choice but to enter the workplace instead of staying home to care for their small children.

My first experience with the cheapening of money was in the late sixties. In 1965 the government decided to remove the silver content from coins. Prior to 1965 the coins were minted with about 90 percent silver content and by 1970 just about all of the silver had been removed. For many years the price of silver was about 37¢ an ounce, which meant that the face value of each coin was far in excess of the silver content. It wasn't until the early 1960s that the value of silver began to escalate to the point where it came close to the face value of the coins. The critical turning point was $1.29 per ounce where the melt value, and the face value became equal. About 1970 a little old man where I worked would meet us every day at the gate to the plant just before the start of the shift. His name was Sidney Schindel. He was thin and bald and stooped over and he had a serial number tattooed on his forearm that he received at Auschwitz prison during World War II. He would say, "Show me your coins, boys, show me your coins" and he would insist that he give us a shiny new coin for each of our old ones. We thought he was crazy. Yeah...right! Later on when the price of silver skyrocketed we all felt stupid and it was old Sidney who had the last laugh.

My next experience with governmental sleight of hand was with "Nixon Shock" when President Richard Nixon took the U.S. off of the gold standard without consulting with his international counter parts. He was desperate to halt the flow of gold out of the country because the rest of the world was losing confidence in the dollar on account of the amount of spending for the Vietnam war and Lyndon Johnson's social programs. On August 15, 1971, President Nixon closed the "gold window”, and ended convertibility between US dollars and gold and by doing so he helped to unleash the inflation of the 1970's. The U.S. started printing more money, the rate of inflation rose, and debts were repaid with cheaper dollars. This triggered a reaction that led among other things to the Arab Oil Embargo and long lines at the gas pump. On October 8, 1974, in a speech entitled "Whip Inflation Now", President Gerald Ford announced a series of proposals for public and private steps intended to directly affect supply and demand in order to bring inflation under control. The "WIN" button was created to remind everyone to "Whip Inflation Now" and President Ford became the butt of many jokes.

In 1979 there was another oil crisis in the United States while Jimmy Carter was president that occurred in the wake of the Iranian Revolution when oil production was interrupted. The price of crude oil began to rise dramatically and with the rise in the price of oil the cost of everything produced from oil or related to oil rose with it. Again, just as before, all debts were paid off with cheaper money. Jimmy Carter abandoned the "WIN" button and took measures to lower dependence on foreign oil and to try and balance the budget but things didn't really settle down again until the "good old days" under Bill Clinton and the budget surplus. Now, with the latest economic crisis stemming in part from some poor decisions made during the the administration of George Bush we are facing another temptation to "print" our way out of the problem by dramatically increasing the supply of dollars. The economists say that inflation is under control but that is what they always say because a run on the banks would just make things worse.

During his recent State of the Union address President Obama coined the slogan "Win The Future". Immediately I remembered "Whip Inflation Now" and the ghost of Sidney Schindel whispered in my ear "Show me the coins". It was Sarah Palin, I think, who turned Obama's "Win the Future" into the acronym "WTF" although it seemed to me like she had another meaning in mind. Perhaps it was "Way To Fail" or "Why The Failure", or "What's This For?", or "We The Fools" or even more apropos for Sara Palin, "What The Fruitcake?". The gist of it is that the liberals want to print more money and the conservatives want to leave everything to the "invisible hand in the marketplace" to sort things out. On January 20th the best-selling author Philip Pullman gave an inspirational speech in which he called the market fundamentalism of the invisible hand, the "greedy ghost", and said that it must go because profit is all that it understands and it does not recognize quality of human life.

The term "invisible hand of the marketplace" first appeared in "The Theory of Moral Sentiments" which was written by Adam Smith in 1759. The thing that most people either forget or don't know is that Smith was a religious man and he thought that profit along with compassion, good morals, and judgment were all part of God's eternal plan for the advancement of mankind. These days profit alone reigns as king while compassion, good morals, and judgment have been left begging. I was mulling all this over during the Super Bowl game, that epitome of market fundamentalism, when the answer came to me during the energetic half-tine show by the "Black Eyed Peas". They were singing "Where's the Love?". That's it! Where is the love that is missing from market fundamentalism, or the invisible hand, or the greedy ghost? In order to "WIN", and "WTF" we must add "WTL". Mr. President...I hope that you find the love before the next State of the Union and do something for all of those families whose breadwinners are out of work. The whole world is watching and depending on it. In the meantine, Mr. President, I will keep praying for you and believind that you are working in the best interests of the American people, and people everywhere.

WTL = Where's The Love?

Who has the power?

2011-01-23T17:10:00.002-06:00

The company that I work for is a relatively small company with about sixty five employees. However, almost all of the companies with whom we do business are very large U.S. corporations and since we are a service business operating hundreds and even thousands of miles from their corporate headquarters we have only a limited knowledge of their inner workings. Nevertheless, every now and then a tiny window opens and gives us a fleeting glimpse into their day to day operations and decision making and we are amazed at the internal struggles for power within their organizations. This generally sets off a discussion among us as to who really has the power in their corporate system. It seems as though these large organizations are giant crucibles who take people in and grind them up and spit out all except those who know the secret of power. I have sometimes wondered about power and if it comes mainly from money, or good looks, or influence, or family ties, or intelligence, or wisdom, or knowledge, or altruism, or greed, or divine appointment, or ruthlessness, or just plain luck. Perhaps it is a combination of all of these. I like to imagine that if one could get a handle on the formula for power one might be able solve some of mankind's most pressing problems.

The biggest question about power is how to regulate it. It seems to be a tenet of human nature that unregulated power leads to corruption and that is why we are now collectively questioning the wisdom of an unregulated free market. In our current democratic situation the strong seem do what they can get away with and the weak suffer what they must in order to get by. In our electoral process the average citizens or "little people" tend favor the charismatic contender whether or not he or she is the best candidate for the job. Is this how a country should be governed? If we allow the public to vote for those "in power" based on their emotions rather than on a well informed and carefully thought out decision making process it may only further the pickle that we seem to be in.

This morning I was listening Fareed Zakaria, the editor-at-large for Time Magazine and the host of CNN's "Fareed Zakaria GPS". He gave a simple definition of power that stuck with me all day. He said "Power is the ability to obtain the outcome that you want". That is simple but it is also genius in my opinion. Instead of asking "Who has the power?", we need to ask instead, "Who has the ability?". This Tuesday, January 25th, Barack Obama will give his second State of the Union address to Congress. We are at a critical point in time. Polls show that impatience, frustration and anxiety are at an all tine high. I think that I can safely say that not only American citizens but people the world over want the United States of America to return to a path of steady growth and prosperity because the American model is still the desired hope and dream for billions of people.

Does Barack Obama have the ability to obtain the outcome that we want? I think that he does. I will be glued to the T.V. set to hear what he has to say. Does the U.S. Congress have the ability (and the guts) to obtain the outcome that we want? I think that they do if they sincerely believe that the trust their constituents have placed in them to do the right thing is sacred. If that is the case...if both the President and the Congress have the ability ( i.e., the power) to obtain the outcome that we want then what are we waiting for? Let's get this show on the road!

From Linear to Exponential

2011-01-16T13:47:00.005-06:00

Back in 1973 a fellow named Merle Haggard wrote a song about the tender optimism of a working man dealing with economic hardship. I relate to this particular song because at the time it was written I was dealing with economic hardship myself. In October of 1973 we were hit with the Arab Oil Embargo crisis and by Christmas that year and it seemed as though the lights were going out all over North America. There were gas lines everywhere and there was a line from that song that was on every one's mind at the time and it went:

If we make it through December
Every thing's gonna be all right I know...

Here in Mexico there is a similar sentiment but it differs in that the month that is the hardest to get through is not December but January. By the end of the year the Christmas holidays have taken their toll on the pocketbook and there is still "El Día de Los Reyes Magos" (The Feast of the Three Kings) on the Epiphany, January 6th to deal with. Many Moms and Dads literally go into hock at a pawn shop (casa de empeños) to get enough money to buy clothing and toys for their children who are expecting Melchor, Gaspar and Baltasar, the three wise men, to bring them gifts. The prudent parents buy the gifts (regalos) on "el plan de apartado" or "layaway plan" to be redeemed on the night of January 5th, the eve of the Epiphany, after the kids have been put to bed. To be sure, the Day of the Three Kings is a great day but after that there is a long hard climb out of debt. Many people who are caught off guard by emergencies during the holidays have had to borrow money from their employer or put off paying the rent or utilities and it is also a time when property taxes become due. That is why people often refer to January as "la cuesta de enero" or "the hill of January". A friend of mine noted recently that this year we will not only have "la cuesta de enero" to deal with but also "la cuesta de dos mil once" or "the hill of two thousand eleven".

This brings me to the title of this blog post, "From Linear to Exponential". I first encountered this phrase in the late 1980's while investigating the maintenance cost cycle of railroad equipment. The monthly maintenance cost would start out at next to nothing and rise very, very slowly over the years in a gradually rising straight line or in a "linear fashion". This would go on for many years until at some point, usually predictable, the various components would begin to wear out more or less simultaneously and the the maintenance cost would take an abrupt upward turn in an alarmingly steep manner or "exponential fashion" and this would indicate the end of a useful life cycle. The owner of the equipment would then need to decide to either completely refurbish the equipment or replace it. We now seem to be at that point with the debts of many nations and the availability of resources. The cause of this linear to exponential change in direction was also generally predictable and we were first warned about it by a man named Thomas Malthus. In 1798 he published An Essay on the Principle of Population which said that the growth of population will eventually reach the limit of the resource base, this resource base, of course, being the planet Earth.

It is hard to get one's head around the math behind exponential growth because our lives are linear and our activities generally don't involve the powers of ten. My father used to explain it by using the story of the chess board with 64 squares. One day a man brought a new game called "chess" to the king and the king enjoyed the game so much that he told the man that he could have anything that he wanted as a reward. The king asked what he would like and the man surprised the king by asking for one grain of rice on the first square, two grains on the second square, four grains on the third square etc. The king readily agreed and called for the rice to be brought in. All went well at first but by the time they got to the thirty-second square they needed 4,294,967,295 grains of rice or in other words about 118 tons. This is enough rice to fill a modern jumbo railroad covered hopper car full to overflowing. Then, on the very next square the amount doubled and they came to the point that some people refer to as, "the second half of the chess board" where the increase becomes so steep that it is almost impossible to deal with. In fact, if the king had kept on rewarding the man with rice according to the agreed upon plan, by the time they reached the sixty-fourth square there would be 18,446,744,073,709,551,615 grains of rice, weighing 501,270, 219, 565 tons, which would be a mountain of rice larger than Mount Everest.

The national debt of the United States is getting uncomfortably close to that "second half of the chess board". Not only that but scientists are telling us that the growing world population, falling energy sources and food shortages will create some almost insurmountable difficulties by the year 2030 if some drastic measures aren't taken immediately. Food reserves are already at a fifty-year low but by 2030 the world will require 50% more food, energy, and clean fresh water than we have available today. I think that more and more and more people at all levels are becoming aware of this all the time and that is why there is so much frustration with the world's leaders and politicians. No one seems to be able to step up and tell it like it is and do something about it NOW and for this reason there is a lot of built-up tension and the resulting strife. What occurred in Arizona recently may be an example. I don't think that what happened to Representative Gabrielle Giffords and the other shooting victims was necessarily politically motivated but the tensions caused by the realizations that I mentioned above could very well have been a factor and this tension may be enough to push some people over the edge. I believe that we must take this underlying tension into account with all of our relationships, both business and personal. The best advice that I have heard in this regard came from one of the world's oldest inhabitants, Ms. Mississippi ("Sweetie") Winn, who died last week at the age of 113 years. When asked what her favorite Bible verse was Sweetie unhesitatingly replied "Be ye kind one to another".

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
(Ephesians 4:32)

AMEN !!!

A word about "bugs"...

2011-01-13T20:38:00.004-06:00

After I wrote about my modest success growing cherry tomatoes here in Central Mexico a number of people mentioned that they have had little or no luck due, on part, to "bugs" or " la plaga" (lah PLAH-ga) as my wife Gina calls them, which means "the plague" in English. I must admit that there can be a problem but it has an easy solution and should not deter anyone from enjoying the delight of a ripe red, sun warmed cherry tomato bursting with flavor. Basically there are two types of bugs that injure these plants. One type is the chewing variety such as the "oruga" (oh- ROO-gah) or "caterpillar" and the other is the sucking variety such as the "pulgón" (puhl-GOHN) or "aphid". The sucking variety belong to the order "Hemitera". The Hemiptera are characterized by a beak called a "rostrum" with which they can pierce the outer covering of a plant and suck out the juice. There is a suborder of the Hemiptera called "Sternorrhyncha" which contains the subfamily "Eriosomatinae" or "Wooly Aphid" and also the subfamily "Aleyrodoidea" which contains the "White Fly". The Wooly Aphid or the White Fly are often what do the most damage to tomatoes and pepper plants.

Both the Wooly Aphid and the White Fly are innocuous looking creatures and most of the time people are unaware that they have an infestation until considerable damage has already been done. That's because these little pests are so tiny as you can see in the photos below. They look like little white specs of fly ash and only when you disturb them and they rise up in a little cloud like a miniature snow storm are you aware that they are even alive. They appear in the garden at this time of year because they like humidity and juicy plants. Fruit bearing plants are their favorites and both tomatoes and peppers are part of the "Solanaceae" or "Nightshade Family" and they are actually classified as fruits. We are between rainy seasons at the moment and the only place you generally find humidity and juicy plants from now until mid-May or early June is in a garden. The little buggers stick their snout into the plant tissue and suck out the juice. Little by little mold forms at the wounds and eventually the infested area of the plant turns yellow and then brown. The plant doesn't die but it becomes very stressed and may not grow very well or bear much fruit as a result. Eventually Lady Bugs and other friendly (to man) predator insects take care of the aphids and the white flies but in the meantime the damage has already been done.

What can be done about it? Well, the first thing you can do is bend over and look at your plants. Yes, bend way down and get to know them. For one thing it is good exercise and for another it is educational. You just might discover a new world. If you do have a pest problem with bugs the next thing to do, of course, is to get rid of them. Actually it is quite easy. A strong stream of water will knock them right off the plants. Keep doing this for a few days and the problem will be greatly reduced. A better method is to spray the plants with a solution of liquid dish soap and water, about a teaspoon per liter of water or so. It won't hurt the plants, especially if you rinse them off later, and you will drive the bugs completely away. Don't be tempted to use harsh chemicals because they are too hard to control. Oh, I keep a can of Raid Max around for zapping those big ugly cockroaches when they get in the house but that's as far as I go with chemicals. Like the beer people say, "Todo con medida"..."Everything in moderation".

Happy Gardening!

A cheery cherry day!

2011-01-08T18:39:00.005-06:00

Today I harvested the last of the "jitomates cheri" (HEE-toh-mah-tays CHAIR-ee) or "cherry tomatoes" that I had planted early last spring. The tomato plants were still green but they were getting pretty scraggly and weren't producing many new tomatoes. It was definitely time for renewal. I had already started some new seedlings before Christmas from seeds taken from these same plants so all I had to do is pick the last of the ripe tomatoes, rip out the old plants, and replace them with their offspring. Isn't that more or less what life is all about anyway? The past year was a good year for cherry tomatoes. In fact, just about every year is a good year for these tasty little treats and that is why I like them so much. There is nothing like walking out on the patio and plucking a ripe tomato, and after rubbing it between your hands (or on your shirt like I do) to dust it off, you pop it in your mouth and squeeze it with your tongue until it explodes. The combination of the fresh tomato taste and aroma combined with the warmth of the sun makes you feel like you are tasting a bit the sun itself. Alongside the tomatoes I plant a lot of basil which is called "albahaca" (ahl-bah-AH-kah) is Spanish and the scent of the basil combined with the smell and taste of the tomato is just heavenly. Just thinking about it makes you sigh, don't it?

About six plants are all we need to supply ourselves and all of the relatives with cherry tomatoes and at the height of the season we will have tomatoes coming out of our ears. I grow some plants in large "macetas" (mah-SAY-tahs) which are clay flower pots about the size of a five gallon bucket and I grow some in large two or three liter plastic pop bottles that I hang on the garden wall. Other than regular watering and a bit of fertilizer now and then they need very little care. I am always starting new plants that I give away to friends and then listen to them rave about how many cherry tomatoes they are getting. There are two groups of people who love these tomatoes the most...little kids and old people. My "suegro" (SWAY-groh) or "father-in-law" and Gina's little "nieto" (NYET-oh) or "grandson" are always in competition to see who can pick the most tomatoes. I think that God must like cherry tomatoes too, and that is why He made them so delicious, prolific and easy to grow. Thank you God for loving us enough to share your cherry tomatoes with us. I love you back.

Today is a special day.

2011-01-06T21:04:00.005-06:00

Today, the sixth of January, is a special day for me. Today I celebrate my 12th anniversary of coming to Mexico. I had only intended to stay for a few months to help a friend named Federico Chio, but one thing led to another and I am still in Mexico. On the first few days of January back in 1999 a powerful winter storm had blasted the Chicago area from whence I came. All across Northern Illinois the storm had raged, dumping anywhere from nine to twenty-two inches of snow on the holiday traffic. The wind blew out of the northeast and it gusted well over thirty miles per hour causing considerable drifting. The storm set a Chicago record for the most snowfall in a single calendar day. Almost nineteen inches were recorded by the official weather reporting station at O'Hare Airport on Saturday, January the second. As if the snow and the wind weren't bad enough the temperature began to fall steadily. By Tuesday the fifth, the day I was hoping to leave for sunny Mexico, the temperature fell to more than ten below zero (Fahrenheit). It felt even colder because of the wind chill. My flight wasn't scheduled to leave until six thirty in the evening. During the blizzard everything came to a halt and many travelers had been stranded at the airport over the weekend.

By noon on Tuesday some semblance of order had been restored but the main problems were the cold and the wind. The unfortunate but valiant men and women of American Airlines, whose job it was to service the planes, were suffering terribly and could only remain outdoors for short periods. The airplanes had to be sprayed with de-icing solution before they could take off and the people who had to spray them with de-icer must have been super human. Once we finally took off about ten thirty, the three hour flight to Monterrey was relatively uneventful. I alternately read and dozed my way through the flight and as we made our approach to the Monterrey airport our pilot announced that the outside temperature was in the mid sixties. What a relief! I realized how miraculous it was that in just three hours I had been able to change my environment by going to a place where the air temperature was seventy five degrees higher than at the place I had left. It was a vivid reminder of the technology that we sometimes take for granted. I had never appreciated modern air travel more than I did that night.

I didn't get to bed until sometime after 2:am on the January 6th after arriving at the airport well after midnight. The next day I went to the shop where I would spend the next year working to help them obtain an international quality assurance certification. On the way to the shop we stopped to buy a couple "roscas" to share with the workers. I am referring to "la rosca de los reyes" or king's bread. It is an oval shaped loaf of sweet, twisted, fruit studded bread. Baked inside is a small ceramic or plastic figurine in the shape of a baby. The baby, of course, represents the Baby Jesus. It is a tradition for families, friends, class mates, or co-workers to gather together in mid to late afternoon for "la merienda" or afternoon snack to partake of the rosca on January 6th. My friend Federico called the workers together for the partaking of the rosca and took that opportunity to introduce me.

Before I left home I had asked Federico for a list of names of all of his workers, about thirty names in all. It is the custom in Mexico to use the father's last name followed by the mother's last name so including their first name, everyone has at least three segments to their full name and often four or sometimes even five. During the time that my plane sat on the ground in Chicago awaiting take off and later during the three hour flight to Monterrey I took it upon myself to memorize all of the names. This turned out to be a great idea which I realized soon after we reached the shop. I asked my friend to introduce me to his men using their first name only and I would fill in the rest of it. The result was magical. It produced instant smiles all around. The men were very impressed and I had a lot of fun breaking the ice that way. I discovered right then that names are very important in Mexico and it is a sign of great respect to remember them in full. From that point on I made it a habit to write down a person's name in a little notebook whenever I am being introduced to them. People don't seem seem to mind at all and because I meet so many people the help that this gives me later on is immeasurable.

It is customary for the person who receives the piece of rosca with the baby to give a party for everyone else on February second, the feast of "The Presentation of the Lord". As I was soon to find out, getting the piece of rosca with the baby hidden inside is not always considered good luck. Parties are expensive and despite the feeling of good fortune one might experience from discovering the baby more often than not the joy is partially canceled out by the realization that a party requires the expenditure of hard earned cash. It is natural for people to hang back, especially the males until someone else finds the baby. I was a little shocked that some of the more macho types referred to it as the "mono" or monkey. Once somebody finds the baby the rest are not so reluctant to dig in. For this reason people sometimes ask the baker to put two or more babies in the rosca. It catches some of those who have avoided having to give a party over the years and it is also a little easier on the pocketbook if there is more than one person to bear the cost of the party.

By the time the rosca ceremony was over I was completely exhausted and felt a sense of being overwhelmed by everything. However, before I drifted off to sleep later that night I reflected on all that had happened in the twenty four hours since I had left Chicago. I was dizzy with wonder of it all for it felt as if I had journeyed through a kaleidoscope. Little did I know that my adventures in Mexico had barely begun and the things to come in the next few weeks and months would make this first day seem average. That is one reason why the Epiphany, the Feast of the Three Kings, "Los Reyes Magos" is a very special day for me. That, and realizing so vividly how time flies when you are having fun. I love Mexico and I am very grateful to the Mexican people for all of their kindness to me.

¡ Viva México !

La Villa de Santa Georgina

2011-01-02T16:29:00.007-06:00

Before I let the holiday slip away by I want to tell you about "La Villa de Santa Georgina". When I was a little boy in Chicago my great aunts Harrieta, Flavia, and Pelagia (Hattie, Flo, and Peggy) used to make a Christmas village every year at the base of the Christmas tree behind and to the sides of the nativity scene. The village that they made was quite detailed and spread out around base of the tree like a tiny community. Later on my sisters Suzanne (Suzy) and Kathryn (Kathy) carried on the tradition and Suzy's Christmas village in particular is realistic to the point of being spectacular. Of course, when my wife Gina learned about this she wanted one too and it just so happened that I came across some little ceramic houses of the Christmas style at Waldo's for only fifteen pesos each and I ended up buying a couple dozen. Then I made a little platform to hold the village and I covered it with unicél (oo-nee-SELL) which is what Styrofoam is called here in Mexico. I painted a background on a piece of plywood and attached it to the base. The whole thing sits below the counter of the arched divider that separates our kitchen area from our living room.

The name that I gave the village, "Santa Georgina", I took from real life. Gina's first name is actually "Georgina" and whenever she and her mother Carmelita start picking on me I start singing the litany of the saints in Latin in the old Gregorian chant style:

Sancta Georgina, ora pro nobis.
Saint Georgina, pray for us.

Sancta Carmelita, ora pro nobis.
Saint Carmelita, pray for us.

Ab omni malo, libera nos, Dómine.
From all evil, deliver us oh Lord.

This is just to remind them that they really aren't saints...YET!! I had a lot of fun working on this little project and I never really finished it because for one thing, I had too many supervisors. Fortunately, a good thing about Christmas is that "si Dios quiere" (if God is willing), it will come again next year and I can work on the village some more. My sisters have been working on theirs for almost forty years and they tell me that they are never quite finished. I guess the only time that when you are truly finished building a Christmas village is when you die. Anyway, I am pleased with the results so far even though it is one of the most eclectic Christmas villages that I have ever seen. That's okay though because everyone here seems to like it...especially "Santa" Georgina.

(Click to enlarge)
"And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight, 'Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!'."
.

My Word for MMXI

2010-12-31T16:28:00.003-06:00

I have come to the point in my life where I need to decide whether to fall back into the bottomless depths of oblivion or to forge ahead into the raging storm of the future. At the end of this coming year I plan to retire from my present career at sixty-four and I need to decide if I am just going to pull the plug and wait for the "beeping" to stop or if I am going to sally forth and rage against the fading of the light by doing something new and different. New Year's Eve is the time when we traditionally take stock of our lives and and if we listen to our conscience and are honest with ourselves we attempt to make some adjustments. In the last few years I have limited my self to just a few resolutions and I am happy to report that I have been moderately successful in keeping them. This year, however, I have decided to reduce my resolutions even further to just one word that I can keep in front of me as a symbol for what I want to accomplish in 2011.

After careful consideration the English word that I have chosen is "ideate" (pronounced AHY-dee-aet) which is a verb that means "to form an idea of", "to think of", "to imagine" or "to conceive of". It is synonymous with "to dream", "to envision", "to fancy", to "fantasize", "to picture", "to visualize", "to conjure up", or "to see in your mind's eye". When used in the intransitive form (without an object) and in the imperative mood (command) it means:

THINK!

The thing that I really like about this word "ideate" is that it means the same thing in Spanish when you use the Spanish verb "idear" (ee-day-AHR) as a command although in the imperative it is written "idéate" (pronounced ee-DAY-ah-teh). When thinking about a symbol that would serve as a reminder of this word in both languages I chose the traditional incandescent light bulb because 130 year old invention has had such longevity as a symbol for fresh thinking. Then I had second thoughts about it because the incandescent bulb is no longer politically correct and the "green movement" that is so popular these days might take issue. I thought about using a spiral shaped CFL (Compact Fluorescent Lamp) as a symbol instead until I learned that the CFL isn't as environmentally friendly as it is purported to be. For one thing it contains mercury which eventually builds up in landfills with the potential to contaminate the air and water of millions of people. In fact, the only place where CFL's are presently manufactured is in China where they are made using very cheap labor and the pollution from the mercury is already making the poor workers sick. No...I think I will stick to the incandescent bulb as a symbol for an idea until something better comes down the pike. In the meantime I'll just "ideate" about it.

Happy New Year!

Butter Fingers

2010-12-28T20:07:00.008-06:00

The new year is coming upon us like "dry leaves before the hurricane fly" or like an Olympic speed skater gingerly crisscrossing his long legs through the last curve and tucking gracefully into a glide at the finish. As he crosses the finish line he straightens up, raises his arms over his head in victory, and shouts "Happy New Year" while everyone cheers and the old year fades into memory. Before the old year vanishes completely it always seems apropos to spend some time in reflection to see what one may have learned, if anything, ignoring the advice of Sachel Page, the famous baseball pitcher, who said, "Don't look back. Something might be gaining on you."

What have I learned over the past year? Not much to write about I'm afraid. I learned that sometimes you're hot and sometimes you're not. I learned that much of what people admire as "success" is none other than the luck of the draw. I learned that gratitude is the least deeply held of human emotions. I learned that democracy is more or less one big cat fight. I learned that greed is not enough to maintain a stable economy. I learned that conspicuous consumption is a path to disaster. What I have especially learned by living in Mexico, however, is to live for the moment, neither fretting about the past nor worrying too much about the future. I accept life as an adventurous journey that eventually ends in a death which I will embrace wholeheartedly when the time comes. I look at death as yet another adventure that will be more interesting and more rewarding than this present state of being that we call "life" and I trust that there is a just and merciful God on Heaven to whom I commend my spirit.

When I was a kid life was much simpler. There didn't seem to be as many rules as there are today...rules that are often confusing and conflicting and that no one has the time to study, much less understand. In Chicago where I was born and raised we played sixteen inch softball as they still do there and also in St. Louis. It is a great game because all you need is a bat and a ball and you can play it on small lots and it is "slow pitch" so everybody can play together, boys and girls, young and old. When we would choose up sides for a game we would call out the rules. If there weren't enough players we would call "right field is out" so we wouldn't need a right fielder (Sorry lefties. Deal with it.) If we were still short a player we would call out "pitchers hands are out" meaning that the runner had to reach first base before the ball got back to the pitcher. Then we made the rules for home runs, automatic doubles, etc. Most of the time the rules were pretty much the same and only needed some minor tweaking. The person who owned the bat and the ball had the final say. We were all umpires collectively and there was no cheating lest the player who owned the ball or the bat would retrieve his or her equipment and go home, thus ending the game. We even had a game called "piggy move up" when there really weren't enough players to field two full teams. Ahhh, life was good.

I remember that we had a term that we used when someone dropped the ball. We would all shout "butterfingers" to the chagrin of the person who dropped it and everybody would smile and laugh. Everyone dropped the ball at some time or other so it was all in good fun. I haven't heard the term "butterfingers" in a long, long time and I wonder why. I have a book of poetry titled "Be the Best of Whatever You Are" that was written in 1926 by a wonderful man named Douglas Malloch. The book was passed down to me through relatives and the original belonged to the granddaughter of my great aunt Harriet Turalski. The young girl died of cancer at age twelve but everyone who knew her said that she had a wonderful disposition and they all loved her. Her name was Dolores French and this was her favorite book. It just so happened that one of the poems is called "Butter Fingers".

Butter Fingers
by Douglas Malloch

When we played at one old cat,
Or chose up sides, and things like that,
There were days we dropped the ball,
Couldn't make an out at all.
Don't know why, we couldn't tell,
But oh how all the kids would yell,
"Butter fingers."

Other days we captured flies,
Tagged out runners twice our size,
Caught the pitcher's outs and drops,
Made those great one-handed stops,
Didn't seem to miss a thing,
Never heard a critic sing,
"Butter fingers."

But, I might as well confess,
We didn't know and couldn't guess,
Never really understood,
Why our game was bad or good--
Why we played our best today,
Yet tomorrow heard them say,
"Butter fingers."

That's the reason, in the game
Men call life, I'm slow to blame
Those who fumble this or that,
Be it life or one old cat.
Just remember, when they fall,
Days that you yourself were all
"Butter fingers."

(Bob's note: "One Old Cat" was one of the forerunners to modern baseball)

If you have followed me this far I want to wish you health and happiness in the new year and even though there maybe times when you are all "butter fingers" just remember to take it in stride and keep peace in your heart.

Navidad 2010

2010-12-19T18:43:00.005-06:00

Every year I write a bit about the Christmas activities here in Central Mexico and especially about the Posadas and Pastorellas. This is not only to inform those who may be newcomers to Mexico or others who may be interested but also to refresh my own memory. Each year I learn more and more about the traditions of the Mexican Christmas and I have the opportunity to add a little more information to my blog and to make corrections.

There are three main themes including the Posada, the Piñata, and the Pastorela that climax on December 24th which is called “Nochebuena” or the “Good Night”. First I will address the “Posada” which means “lodging”. It relates the story of Saint Joseph leading a donkey bearing the very pregnant Virgin Mary from their home in Nazareth to Bethlehem where Joseph frantically searched for a place where Mary could give birth to the Baby Jesus. Beginning on December 16th and continuing up to and including December 24th the posadas are held each night in turn by different people of the same neighborhood or family. This is a nine day period called a “novena” and some say that it commemorates the nine months that Mary was pregnant and others say that it commemorates the journey from Nazareth to Jerusalem, which supposedly took nine days. In the time of Jesus many societies followed the custom of gathering together for nine days following a burial and in the new testament book “The Acts of the Apostles” (Acts 1:14), we find the apostles, along with some of the close disciples and Mary the mother of Jesus gathered in the upper room and praying for nine consecutive days which culminated in the Pentecost or decent of the Holy Spirit upon them. In any case, nine seems to be a significant number in ancient histories.

How the posadas got started in Mexico is an interesting story. In the year 1587 a priest named Fray Diego de Soria, who was the rector of a monastery called San Augustín de Alcoman (just to the northeast Mexico City), asked permission to celebrate a mass called the “Misa de Aguinaldos” (Mass of Gifts) each day from December 16th to December 24th. In this mass there would be passages related to the story of the nativity and in order to draw the people to the mass the priests would include entertainment in the form of fireworks and songs and little gifts in the form of sweets. Now it just so happens that the people were already accustomed to celebrating during this period of winter solstice which they called “Panquetzaliztli” in their native tongue. It was a time when they celebrated their native war god whom they called “Huitzilopochtli”. The feast of Huitzilpochtli lasted twenty days from the 6th of December until the 26th and it also had an element of pilgrimage in that people would travel long distances to come join the celebration. They would also receive gifts of sweetened seedcakes of amaranth or in Spanish “amaranto” and these sweets are still around today and are called “dulce de alegria” or “candy of joy”. Also note that even to the present day, the little bags of sweets given to children at Navidad are called “aguinaldo” and the same word is used for the end of the year bonus pay that is traditionally given to workers just before Navidad.

The earliest posadas were held in the open courtyards of the monasteries and began with a recitation of the rosary accompanied by songs and stories based upon the biblical account of the birth of Christ. Later on, the posadas were carried over by the people to their own houses and neighborhoods and evolved into what they are today. The posada entails two groups, one representing the innkeepers and the other representing the “peregrinos” or “pilgrims” meaning Joseph and Mary. All of the people in the pilgrim group carry candles and usually four of them carry a litter instead, upon which rest statues of Joseph and Mary and a donkey. Sometimes this is actually substituted by people dressed as Joseph and Mary and Mary is seated on a real donkey! There is generally someone walking in front of the group with a paper lantern lit by a candle. As is the custom they go to three houses and at each they knock on the door and sing their request for lodging. At the first two houses the group who answers the door listens to their request and sings a refusal. At the third house they sing their request to enter and the participants in the house give their acceptance in song and all of the people including the people from the other two houses are let in. Then they recite a rosary and sing a litany to the Virgin Mary and after this the fun begins. One of the things that they do which really surprised me is that everyone lights “sparklers” which in the United States people traditionally light on the 4th of July. The ones that they use in Mexico for the posadas, however, are much smaller. They are called either “Luces de Belén” (Lights of Bethlehem) or “Luces de Bengala” (Lights of India). Even the small children get into the act and I am always worried that one of them will get burned but thank God I haven’t ever seen that happen and I hope I never will.

Now it is time to talk about the Piñata. The origin of the piñata can be traced back to China and it was part of the Chinese Spring Festival or what people in the west call “Chinese New Year”. The custom came to Italy by means of Marco Polo or perhaps some other adventurous soul and in Italy it took on a religious aspect and was called a “pignatta. It was used during the Lenten period and when the custom of breaking piñatas during Lent eventually arrived in Spain the Spanish introduced a feast every first Sunday of Lent called "The Dance of the Piñata." Breaking the piñata at the beginning of Lent symbolized the desire to end the evil in one's life, to convert the heart to return to God and receive an eternal reward. In the early sixteenth century, the piñata tradition was unknown in the New World but in Mexico, the Mayan Indians had a tradition of trying to break a clay pot that was filled with sweets and balanced on a pole. This practice was part of the traditional December “Panquetzaliztli” celebrations in honor of their war god “Huitzilopochtli”. The Spanish missionary priests were always looking for ways to convert the native traditions to Christian traditions and so they gave a religious sense to the game of breaking the pot and so they converted the “pot” into the form of the Spanish/Italian “piñata” and moved it from Lent to Advent. It quickly became a popular compliment to the festivities of the Posadas.

The traditional piñata of Navidad is made from a clay pot called an “olla piñatera” or “cantero” that is covered with bright colored paper and represents the Devil who tempts us with the bright colors. The classic piñata of Navidad is round with seven peaks or spikes, representing the seven cardinal sins: Sloth, Lust, Greed, Envy, Gluttony, Wrath, and Pride. Hitting the piñata while blindfolded represents faith that allows us to believe without seeing. The stick with which to beat the piñata represents the force of the grace of God with which we combat evil. With God's help, we destroy the evil, and then we receive the fruits of God’s reward which are the sweets that are contained in the piñata. The shouts of the people who guide the blindfolded person with the stick represent the faithful of the church who collectively help us combat the Devil and who also share in God’s reward when the Devil is overcome.
The breaking of the piñata is always the highlight of any celebration. There are some very traditional songs that are sung in the process of breaking the piñata and during Navidad there are some extra phrases that are sung back and forth by the participants prior to the actual attempts to break the piñata:

Ándale Roberto, no te dilates con la canasta de los cacahuates.
(Hurry up Robert, don’t dilly dally with the basket of peanuts.)

Ándale Gina, sal del rincón con la canasta de colación.
(Hurry up Gina, come out of the corner with the basket of sweets.)

Note: The word "colación" (koh-lah-SEEOHN) can mean several things. It can mean a convocation of religious monks or it can refer to an ancient legal term pertaining to the rights of inheritance. It can mean an "aperitif" (appetizer) or it can also mean "sweetmeats" given to servants on Christmas Eve. In Mexico it usually means "refrigerios" (rey-free-HAIR-eeohs) or "treats" that are generally little pieces of hard sugar candy. They come in a variety of shapes and colors and sizes. When sugar syrup is heated it passes through various stages or taste and texture and can be made into different types of candies depending upon the highest temperature that is reached. The temperature range is from about 235 degrees Fahrenheit up to about 350 degrees. In the old days people didn't have thermometers so they judged the candy by heating the syrup and then dropping a spoonful into cold water and judging by the form it took as to whether or not it had reached the right temperature. Then they added flavors like "hinojo" (fennel), "hierbabuena" (peppermint), and "anis" (anise). They also colored the candy by adding vegetable dyes and they might put nuts like peanuts or almonds at the center. There are about three hundred different examples of Mexican hard candies in the historical records. Many of them were invented and produced by nuns in the convent kitchens. Kids don't care for them much anymore and end up throwing them at each other but the old folks always like to have some around at Christmas just for old time sake.

No quiero oro ni quiero plata, yo lo que quiero romper la piñata.
(I don’t want gold nor do I want silver, I just want to break the piñata.)

En esta posada salimos de apuro porque Luis nos dio solo ponte duro.
(We are leaving this posada early because Luis only gave us ponte duro.)

Note: “ponte duro” are hardened little balls of corn flour mixed with unrefined sugar…a poor substitute for candy.

Ándale José, mueve los pies con los copitas de vino jerez.
(Hurry up Joseph, move your feet, and bring us cups of sherry wine.)

Esta piñata es de muchas mañas, solo contiene naranjas y cañas.
(This piñata is a trick; it only contains oranges and sugar cane.)

Quiero mi canasta de papel de china, si no me la das me voy a la esquina.
(I want my tissue paper basket; if you don’t give it to me I will go out to the street corner.)

Note: the basket referred to is the “aguinaldo” or gift basket of goodies which is given to everyone who attends the posada to make sure that no one is left out. The baskets are commonly made from or lined with either tissue paper, crepe paper, or white butcher paper.

Quiero mi canasta de papel crepe, si no me la das me voy con José.
(I want my crepe paper basket; if you don’t give it to me I am going over to José’s house.)

Quiero mi canasta de papel estraza, si me no la das me voy a mi casa.
(I want my butcher paper basket; if you don’t give it to me I am going home.)

En esta posada nos hemos chasqueado porque Teresita nada nos ha dado.
(We are very upset with this posada because little Teresa didn’t give us anything.)

Echen confites y canelones a los muchachos que son muy tragones.
(Throw hard candies at the boys who grab for too much.)

Note: “Confites and Canelones” are two types of hard candy.

Todos los muchachos rezaron con devoción, de chochos y confites les dan ya su ración.
(All of the boys prayed with devotion so let’s give them their share of lupin beans and hard candies.)

Note: “Chochos” or “Lupin Beans” are like salted nuts and in Spain they are called “altramuz”.

Castaña asada, piña cubierta; ¡Echen a palos a los de la puerta!
(Roasted chestnuts and candied pineapple; hit with a stick the people who are blocking our way!)

Ándale Juan, sal de la hornilla, con la botella de la manzanilla.
(Hurry up Juan from the corner by the oven with the bottle of manzanilla wine.)

De los cerritos y los cerrotes, saltan y brincan los tejocotes.
(From the little hills and big hills the tejocotes jump and skip.)

Note: “Tejocotes” are a yellow fruit about the size of a plum that grow wild and are used for fruit punch especially at Navidad.

Ándale niña, sal otra vez, con la botella de vino jerez.
(Hurry up little girl, bring the bottle of sherry wine once again.)

Esta posada le toca a Carmela, si no da nada le saca una muela.
(This posada is Carmen’s turn, if she doesn’t give anything she forfeits a tooth.)

Ándale Mari no peles los dientes, yo lo que quiero son ponches calientes.
(Hurry up Mary, don’t give a silly grin, what I want is hot fruit punch.)

Todaditos muy contentos a rezar la posadita, no es tanta devoción si no por la canasta.
(Everyone is content to participate in the posada, not so much for devotion as for the basket of goodies.)

Ahora si muchachos ya se puede ir, para que mañana los dejen venir.
(Okay boys, you can go home now because tomorrow you can come again.)

After the above calls back and forth the children line up stating with the smallest on to the biggest and the first person is given the stick (usually a sawed off broom stick or mop handle). Many times the first person is actually a baby who is held in the arms of his mother and this is the baby’s first ritual introduction to the piñata. The first person who is old enough to act on their own is blind folded and then spun in a circle while the people sing:

Ya se va el curo Ponciano con su bastón en su mano a ver si vuelta u vuelta se quita lo panzón.
(There goes the priest Ponciano with his stick in his hand to see if by turning and turning around he can lose his belly.)

Then the blindfolded person is left under the piñata to try and find it and hit it with the stick. Some people pull on the rope that supports the piñata to make it jump about and harder to hit. Other people shout directions and encouragement while some of the people sing the following ditty to set a time limit:

Dale, dale, dale,
No pierdas el tino
Porque si lo pierdes
Pierdes el camino.
Dale, dale, dale
Dale y no le dio
Quítenle la venda
¡Porque sigo yo!
¡Se Acabó!
¡Sigo yo!

(Hit it, hit it, hit it!
Don't lose your aim
Because if you lose your aim
You will lose the path.
Hit it, hit it, hit it!
He [or she] hit it, and it didn't give
Take away his blindfold
Because it's now my turn!
It’s over!
I'm next!)

Note: There are several versions and the last part of one version goes like this:

Ya le diste uno,
Ya le diste dos,
Ya le diste tres,
Y tu tiempo se acabo!

(You already gave it one hit,
You already gave it two hits,
You already gave it three hits
And your time is up!)

The people take turns until the piñata is broken and the treats come showering down and everyone scrambles to retrieve what the can. Often as not the piñata is finally broken by some twelve or thirteen year old girl who by now is a veteran of many attempts and knows exactly what strategies are needed to outsmart the jumping target. It is always interesting how exited the people get at the sight of the piñata. You can actually see grown people, especially young women, trembling with excitement as if wishing that they could take a turn. The piñata, however, is mostly reserved for children. After the scramble for goodies is over everyone receives a little bag of treats (aguinaldo) to make sure that no one is left out.

Now we come to the Pastorela or “Shepherd’s Play”. A pastorela is a simple morality play that usually involves shepherds who in some way or another are being tempted or tormented by the Devil. They began in twelfth century Europe and appeared in Mexico in the middle of the sixteenth century. They were used initially for the purpose of the evangelization of the native people but they eventually became part of the tradition of Navidad especially among school children. Many pastorelas are performed in schools or in community cultural centers. Almost every town of any size in Mexico has a “Casa de la Cultura” and putting on a pastorela performance is one of their traditions at Navidad. Pastorelas are homey, involve many children, and are at the same time quite predictable and very often amusing. The cast of characters has parts for everyone including simple shepherds, various Devils, Angels, Archangels, oriental Kings, and the Holy Family. Navidad just wouldn’t be the same without a pastorela. It is part of the fabric of Mexican culture.

One final note: The translations from Spanish to English above are my own. I have done the best that I can to convey the meaning but the translations are by no means literal. Some of the Spanish words are archaic and are not normally used in common speech and many of the phrases are linked to cultural practices which are no longer in use. When I asked some of my Mexican friends to help me with the translations they gave only a vague meaning for some of the words. I had to do bit of research to ferret out the details and even then when translated literally and out of cultural context the words didn’t make much sense in English without much additional explanation. What I provided above is what I consider to be a good compromise. Please cut me some slack if you don't agree and let me hear from you.

¡ Feliz Navidad !

¡Feliz Janucá!

2010-12-01T12:55:00.005-06:00

Hanukkah begins at sundown today. For all of my friends out there who are Jewish I wish you a Happy and Blessed Hanukkah season and to all of my friends who aren't Jewish here are some things that you should know about Hanukka:

Hanukkah occurs on 25th day of Kislev, the Jewish month which is based upon the lunar calendar and begins on a different date every year. The Feast of Hanukkah (or Chanukkah), sometimes called the "Feast of Lights", lasts for eight days. This year it starts on December 1st, and ends at sundown on December 9th. It celebrates the victory of a group of Jews called the Maccabees over a much a larger force of Greeks led by King Antiochus over 2000 years ago. The word Hanukkah means dedication. The holiday marks how a small amount of oil lasted eight days during the re-dedication of the temple in Jerusalem after it was desecrated by the Greeks. The Jewish people celebrate the holiday by lighting candles in a Hanukkah "menorah" for each of eight nights and eating traditional foods fried in oil. These traditional Hanukkah foods include latkes (potato pancakes) and sufganiot (jelly donuts). Kids often play a game involving a dreidel (a spinning top) and chocolate gelt (money). The menorah used for Hanukkah is called a "Chanukiah" and is supposed to represent the menorah that stood in the ancient Jewish temple in Jerusalem more than 2000 years ago. The Chanukiah has nine branches, for eight candles and a helper candle used to light the other candles. There is another menorah with seven branches that has been a symbol of Judaism since ancient times and the emblem of the modern state of Israel.

In Mexico Hanukkah is written "Janucá,". The Mexican Jewish Hanukkah customs are very similar to those of Jews elsewhere except that the food may be a little different. Instead of latkes and sufganiot which are common among the Ashkenazic Jews of Russia and Eastern Europe, the Sephardic Jews of Mexico tend to favor things like "buñuelos" which are fried fritters drenched in sugar syrup and also balls of corn dough with marmalade inside. Like their Jewish counterparts around the world they play the game of "dreidel" which they call "toma todo" and they call the dreidel top a "pirinola". To make their holiday really special and authentically Mexican the add a Mexican "piñata" in the shape of the dreidel top to the festivities.

There have been Jews in Mexico dating back to as early as 1521, when Hernan Cortes conquered the Aztecs, accompanied by several Jews who had temporarily "Christianized" in order to avoid the Spanish Inquisition. Many other Jews also eventually fled Spain and settled in Mexico in order to escape the Inquisition. Some of these Spanish or "Sephardic" Jews were forced to convert to Catholicism and were called "Converso" Jews, while other maintained their Jewish religious practices in secret to avoid being persecuted and they are known as "Crypto" Jews.

Few Jews migrated to Mexico after the conquest was complete and Spanish Inquisition became firmly entrenched and rigidly enforced in what was then called New Spain. Then, in the late 1800s, a number of German Jews settled in Mexico as a result of invitations from Maximilian I of Mexico, followed by a huge wave of Ashkenazic Jews fleeing pogroms in Russia and Eastern Europe. A second large wave of immigration occurred as the Ottoman Empire collapsed, leading many Sephardic Jews from Turkey, Morocco, and parts of France to flee. Finally, a wave of immigrants fled the increasing Nazi persecutions in Europe during World War II.

Today, there are about 50,000 Jews living freely in Mexico and openly practicing their ancient religion. I hope they all enjoy their Hanukka festival. Happy Hanukka to everyone!!!

שמח חנוכה

Care with women and punctuation.

2010-11-14T20:23:00.002-06:00

I received this item from my friend Javi Nava and I thought it might be a good warning as well as a lesson in about misplacing the comma in Spanish that I can share with my fellow students.

In Spanish, the personal pronoun is often omitted because it is carried by the verb ending and the gender is derived from the context. However, a problem can arise with the placement of a simple coma that will drastically change the meaning of the sentence.

Note the difference in the meaning of the following two sentences that are written identically except for the placement of the coma:

Si el hombre supiera realmente el valor que tiene la mujer, andaría en cuatro patas pidiéndole perdón.
If the man really knew the value of the woman, he would crawl on hands and knees asking her forgiveness.

(Translation note: "en cuatro patas"...literally "on four paws")

Now remove the coma from behind the word "mujer" and place it behind the word "tiene".

Si el hombre supiera realmente el valor que tiene, la mujer andaría en cuatro patas pidiéndole perdón.
If the man really knew his value, the woman would crawl on hands and knees asking her forgiveness.

Be careful. It's a jungle out there!

How to make ORT

2010-11-12T08:02:00.005-06:00

Dr. Jan Gurley has been going to Haiti since the earthquake and is there now combating the disease, cholera, and the resulting severe dehydration that accompanies it. She and her friends have produced a short video that shows how to make Oral Rehydration Therapy (ORT) using salt, sugar, and bottle caps for measuring (4 caps sugar, 1 cap salt, and 500 ml clean water). Doctor Gurley hopes the video will go viral. Aid workers have smart phones that can show videos and many Haitians have video-enabled cell phones. Read more at Doctor Gurley's blog. Click here.

Via the BB Submitterator

I just knew it!

2010-11-09T20:32:00.003-06:00

I have found another proof of the existence of a just and merciful God. It is called the Twinkie diet. Just as I was about to lose all hope the truth has been revealed by a guy named Professor Mark Haub, who teaches nutrition at Kansas State University. He has let it be known that you can lose weight by eating nothing but Twinkies. Dr. Haub's working theory is that moderation, not the specific foods you eat, is the key to weight loss. After eight weeks of eating 1800 calories worth of Twinkies per day, he dropped almost 30 pounds. According to my calculations that is 11.25 twinkies per day. Ahhh, life is good!

Tomato hangover...

2010-10-23T15:16:00.007-05:00

Last year I planted three cherry tomato plants and we ended up eating cherry tomatoes all fall and winter and spring until we had cherry tomatoes coming out of our ears. My wife Gina finally ripped them out because they were getting quite scraggly looking and she was tired of them. I think that cherry tomatoes might be one of the most prolific plants on Earth. I have read that after a nuclear war the only animal life that might survive would be the cockroaches, scorpions, mice, rats, horseflies, yellow jackets, and mosquitoes. On the plant side I think it would probably be crabgrass, thistles, dandelions, and cherry tomatoes. All you need to do is plant cherry tomatoes once and they will come up year after year from the seeds of fallen tomatoes.

One day I was cleaning out the vegetable bin of our refrigerator and I came across a dried up cherry tomato. I figured "What the heck!" and I took out the seeds and sprouted them and planted them in some 1-1/2 and 2 liter plastic Coke bottles. I then hung them on the garden wall from whatever was handy. I even planted one upside down to see what would happen. You guessed it! It wasn't long before we had cherry tomatoes again. The plant that I planted upside down with the roots above and the green part hanging down doesn't seem to mind at all as you can see in the photos below. About the only problem is the fact that I need to water them every day or they begin to wilt. That's why the 2 liter bottles work better than the 1-1/2. I also give them a shot of Miracle Grow once in awhile. I poked some holes with a hot wire about three inches from the bottom of the bottles for drainage but perhaps that isn't necessary. I wrapped a bit of paper towel around the tomato stem in the neck of the upside down bottle to keep the dirt in until the roots took over.

As you can see in the pictures I wrapped some aluminum foil around the bottles to keep the light away from the roots and perhaps keep them cool but I don't know if that is necessary. It is just the "mad scientist" in me that made me do that. I might even try growing other things in the sky...like pumpkins maybe. You better keep your eyes on the horizon!

Click on images to enlarge.

Anticipatory celebration elation...

2010-10-18T15:27:00.003-05:00

There is a Mexican Spanish phrase that I like to use and today it seems more appropriate than ever because it is both literal as well as figurative. The phrase is "Ya está la calabaza". The literal translation is "The pumpkin is already in place" and the the figurative meaning is "Everything is all set", or "It's ready to go", or as George W. Bush might say, "Mission Accomplished".

Over the weekend I bought several jack-o-lanterns made from "barro" (clay or terracotta) and gave them to my wife, Gina, as a surprise. Judging from the amount of hugs and kisses that I received in return it was a good move. You can see "calabazas" in the photo below. One thing that I noted is the difference that exists between Mexican Halloween Pumpkins and Gringo Halloween Pumpkins. In Mexico all of the jack-o-lanterns and ghosts and goblins and monsters, etc., are very happy. This is in contrast to the menacing grimace that you see on many of the Halloween creatures in the U.S.

When I first came to Mexico there was no sign of Halloween but little by little thanks to Walmart and the Chinese, the spirit of Halloween crept over the land. Many older people are still afraid that Halloween will supplant "El Día de Los Muertos" (The Day of the Dead) but I don't think that will happen. The Mexican people are very clever and they have found a way to adapt Halloween to their own culture and by doing so I think they have enhanced their traditional activities and made a nice holiday even longer and better, especially for kids. The kids just love Halloween. I know because I did when I was a kid, so why not?

So, are we really all set for Halloween? Not quite, but we will be by the time our bell rings and the children shout...

¡Queremos Halloween!

Oh, Lordy!

2010-10-13T20:09:00.003-05:00

About one billion people in the world watched the Chilean miners being rescued today and we all rejoiced in the triumph of the human spirit. Thank God that this story had a happy ending. It is a reminder, however, that we never know what will happen when a loved one walks out the door and and there is always a chance that we will never see them alive again on this Earth. For this reason my wife Gina and I bless each other when we part each morning to go to our respective jobs or whenever we separate. We make the sign of the cross over each other and she usually says:

Yo te bendigo en el Nombre del Padre, del Hijo, y del Espíritu Santo.
Que vayas y regreses con bien.
Que San Pedro te cubra con su manto.
Que te proteja de toda clase de peligros.
Angel de tu guarda, dulce compañía, no lo desampares ni de noche ni de día.

I bless you in the Name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit.
That you go and come back safely.
That San Pedro that will cover you with his cloak.
To protect you from all harm.
Guardian Angel of yours, sweet companion, do not forsake him night or day.

Then I pray over her but usually I just "wing it" and use my imagination because I imagine that God gets tired of hearing the same old thing all the time. After that we kiss and then we part but we never part if we are angry with each other. It is very comforting to know that if something happens, the last memory that we will have of one another is a benediction, a prayer, and a sweet kiss.

Speaking of using my imagination...about eight years ago I was visiting my elderly parents at their home in Arlington Heights, Illinois when both of them were still alive and well. They were in the habit of eating their main meal about two o'clock in the afternoon and Ma always set a nice table in the dining room. On this particular occasion my mother asked me to say grace and we all bowed our heads and...then my mind went blank! After about a half a minute my father said, "Well?" and I started clearing my throat to buy some time. Just then the refrain from the old song about the preacher and the bear wafted through my head so I ran with it. With great reverence and humility I prayed:

Oh, Lord, you delivered Daniel from the lion's den,
You delivered Jonah from the belly of the whale, and then,
The Hebrew children from the fiery blast so the good book does declare,
Oh Lord, for goodness sake, please nourish us with this, thy bounty.
A truly wonderful fare.
In Jesus name we pray. Amen!

My mother said, "My, but that prayer was quite different. It was very poetic though. Where did you learn it?".

I said, "I don't know Ma, I think it was an inspired prayer. Perhaps I was filled with the Holy Spirit and He inspired me".

My father mumbled, "Oh yeah? I think that maybe you are full of something else".

My mother said, "What was that George?".

Dad said, "Nothing Mel. I was just asking Bob if he wanted something else" and she said, "Oh yes, help yourself Bob, there is plenty of everything".

Out of the corner of my eye I could see my Dad staring at me so I focused on my mother. "Hey Ma!", I said, "So what do you think about the Cubs? Are they going to win the pennant?".

I really miss my parents and I look forward to seeing them again. I think that my Dad will have forgotten this particular incident and I am sure that the Lord has a sense of humor.

I HOPE !!!

Survival of the fattest...

2010-10-10T21:13:00.002-05:00

I once read that the average American can miss only nine meals before resorting to acts of desperation. I don't know who came up with that statistic but it is reasonable to assume that after a disaster people might get pretty antsy after eating the last can of cranberry sauce or jar of anchovies from their pantry. It also probably depends upon whether you are skinny or fat. Like a buffalo or a camel I could probably live off my "hump" and my "rump" for quite awhile. However, I have decided that in the light of so many recent disasters around the world it might be prudent to gather up a few things and store them in a footlocker "por si las moscas" as they say here in Mexico which means "just in case". I also feel that it must be something that you can store away and pretty much forget about without worrying too much about the "fecha de caducidad" or "expiration date".

I came up with three canned good items that will last almost indefinitely in storage but for at least three years without worry that they might go bad or lose their flavor. The first is sweetened condensed milk. Here in Mexico the popular brand is "La Lechera" but in the U.S. and Canada there are a number of popular brands. It was developed by Gail Borden in 1854 and one of the first uses was for portable rations for the Union Army during the Civil War. A typical 14 oz (300 ml) can contains 1,300 calories ), 1 oz (30 g) each of protein and fat, and more than 7 oz (200 g) of carbohydrate.

The second item is good old Spam which was developed in 1937 by Hormel Foods and became the basis for some of the canned "C" rations and "K" rations in World War II. Spam is typically sold in cans with a net weight of 340 grams (12 ounces). A 100 gram (3.5 ounce) serving of original Spam provides 310 Calories, 13 grams of protein, 3 grams of carbohydrates, 27 grams of total fat, including 10 grams of saturated fat. The processing techniques utilized by Hormel Foods makes the canned product safe for use indefinitely if the product seal remains intact, unbroken and securely attached to a can that has been well maintained. Okay, so health food it ain't but it will keep you going. Just ask an old soldier. My father was a tank commander in the Normandy Invasion and he told me that his favorite "K" ration was Spam with chunks of carrots and apples.

The third item is canned sardines. A 4 oz. can of sardines packed in oil has about 210 calories consisting of 23 grams of protein, 11 grams of fat, and 1 gram of saturated fat. Canned tuna packed in oil is another good item and can have a shelf life of up to ten years. The same for canned chicken. Personally, I think that three years is a good shelf life for all of these items and then you should "borrar y cuenta nueva" or "erase and start over".

Certainly there are more foods that could lend themselves to prudence aforethought but I picked these because you don't need to cook them or refrigerate them. If you include foods that you need to cook you better include an axe so that you can bust up your furniture for fuel. A lot of your planning depends upon whether you want a three day emergency supply or a contingency plan that will cover several weeks. I wouldn't go overboard but like they say here "Mejor prevenir que lamentar" or "It's better to prepare than be sorry". FEMA has a guide that may be helpful to those who are interested, especially families with small children. You can access it and save it in .pdf format by clicking here.

Buen Provecho (Bon Appétit)

Oh happy days!

2010-10-05T20:15:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I posted the Tommy Douglas "Mouseland" speech from 1944 and today I am posting his "Cream Separator" speech. I love this guy and I know why many Canadians loved this guy. He tells a good story and he tells it in such an affable way that even if you don't agree with him you still end up smiling. The days of Tommy Douglas are gone and they probably won't becoming back again but I just wish that the politicians of today would let us have a little fun like Tommy did. Here is "The Cream Separator" by Tommy C. Douglas:

So, you know I used to visit farm homes in the early days. Of course everybody was always busy. Feeding pigs, chickens, pitching hay and oat sheaves. Even the youngsters were busy at important jobs. Now, you know, they couldn’t trust a city boy with anything important, something skilled, like milking a cow! I was given the one job anyone could do...turning the handle on the cream separator. They’d pour the milk in, I’d turn the handle, and out would come cream from the cream spout and skim milk from the other. One day it penetrated my thick Scottish skull (that can take time) that this was how our economy worked!

We’ve got the producers: the farmers, the fishermen, the loggers, the auto-workers, they produce and pour in the “milk” and then there are the service workers, the office workers, the nurses, and the clerks. They turn the handle. But then I thought, wait a minute, there’s someone missing here in this economy. What about the guy who owns the cream separator? Where is he? Why, of course! He’s the little fellow sitting on his stool, very contented, big smile on his face, his mouth wide open drinking all the cream from the cream spout! And everyone else, well, they take turns on the skim milk spout. Now nobody likes skim milk! It tastes awful, right?

So they were angry. But were they angry at the little fellow, no. They’d blame each other for the missing cream; “If only those greedy union members/farmers/nurses didn’t ask for such high wages, we’d have more cream!” But of course, they were wrong. There was nothing wrong with the producers or the service workers. The problem was the darn machine! It was designed to give the awful “blue” milk to the workers and the cream to the corporate elite. But sometimes it produced even more cream than the happy little fellow could digest. The darned machine would produce a surplus! So the fat little fellow would get indigestion from being such a pig. Then he’d shout, “Stop! We have a recession. You’re all laid off.” But, then after a while, he’d burp, pat his ample stomach, the cream had been digested and he’d say, “Okay, boys. Happy days are here again. Start the machine!”

Now what we have been trying to tell Canadians for a long time is that the time has come. The time has come, my friends, for the people to get their hands on, to get control of the regulator of that machine...to get the machine to produce homogenized milk with cream in it so that there is a little cream for everybody in this land!”

We're going to Mouseland

2010-10-04T20:07:00.002-05:00

It just so happened that the day after I wrote a blog post about controlling mice I saw an item on Cory Doctorow's blog about the famous "Mouseland" speech of the beloved Canadian politician Tommy Douglas who is considered the "Father of Canadian Health Care". He is so admired in Canada that in a poll taken by the Canadian Broadcasting System in 2004 he was named "The Greatest Canadian of All Time". The Mouseland story was told by Tommy Douglas in 1944 but it is so apropos of the coming November elections in the United States that I want to share it with you. Tommy used this story many times to show in a humorous way how voters fail to recognize that neither the Liberals nor the Conservatives are truly interested in what matters to ordinary citizens, yet people continue to vote for them.

Mouseland – A Political fable told by Tommy Douglas

Mouseland was a place where all the little mice lived and played, were born and died. And they lived much the same as you and I do.

They even had a Parliament. And every four years they had an election. They used to walk to the polls and cast their ballots. Some of them even got a ride to the polls. And got a ride for the next four years afterward too. Just like you and me. And every time on election day all the little mice used to go to the ballot box and they used to elect a government. A government made up of big, fat, black cats.

Now if you think it strange that mice should elect a government made up of cats, you just look at the history of Canada for last 90 years and maybe you'll see that they weren't any stupider than we are.

Now I'm not saying anything against the cats. They were nice fellows. They conducted their government with dignity. They passed good laws--that is, laws that were good for cats. But the laws that were good for cats weren't very good for mice. One of the laws said that mouse holes had to be big enough so a cat could get his paw in. Another law said that mice could only travel at certain speeds...so that a cat could get his breakfast without too much effort.

All the laws were good laws...for cats. But, oh, they were hard on the mice. And life was getting harder and harder. And when the mice couldn't put up with it any more, they decided something had to be done about it. So they went en mass to the polls. They voted the black cats out. They put in the white cats.

Now the white cats had put up a terrific campaign. They said: "All that Mouseland needs is more vision." They said: "The trouble with Mouseland is those round mouse holes we got. If you put us in we'll establish square mouse holes." And they did. And the square mouse holes were twice as big as the round mouse holes, and now the cat could get both his paws in. And life was tougher than ever.

And when they couldn't take that anymore, they voted the white cats out and put the black ones in again. Then they went back to the white cats. Then to the black cats. They even tried half black cats and half white cats. And they called that coalition. They even got one government made up of cats with spots on them: they were cats that tried to make a noise like a mouse but ate like a cat.

You see, my friends, the trouble wasn't with the color of the cat. The trouble was that they were cats. And because they were cats, they naturally looked after cats instead of mice.

Presently there came along one little mouse who had an idea. My friends, watch out for the little fellow with an idea. And he said to the other mice, "Look fellows, why do we keep on electing a government made up of cats? Why don't we elect a government made up of mice?" "Oh," they said, "he's a Bolshevik. Lock him up!" So they put him in jail.

But I want to remind you: that you can lock up a mouse or a man but you can't lock up an idea.

"I've no patience with people who want to sit back and talk about a blueprint for society and do nothing about it." (Tommy Douglas)

Here Mickey, Mickey, Mickey...

2010-10-03T13:02:00.007-05:00

Somewhere along our evolutionary journey the fates of humans and mice became intertwined just like it came to pass with dogs and cats. The common house mouse (Mus musculus) needs humans to survive even though humans could do very nicely without the destructive little buggers, notwithstanding their"cuteness". I have a particular interest in mice because my wife Gina is deathly afraid of them and has been since she was a little child. In fact, when she even thinks there is a mouse around she shrieks and jumps up onto a chair and then it costs me a lot of effort to coax her back down. In fact, when there actually are signs of a mouse in the house there is truly hell to pay.

October is the month when one must really be on the lookout for mice. In the summertime, "when the living is easy", the mice generally prefer to be outdoors. However, when the nights start getting colder in October they start looking for winter quarters. Because their metabolism rate is high and their fur is short they need the warmth of a shelter and and the provisions of a well stocked larder in order to bear their young. They have learned over the millennia that where there are humans there is warmth and food. They also sense that a close proximity to humans is dangerous but their need to procreate mitigates their fear. Mice in the wild only live for about a year so if they are to survive as a species they must continually reproduce.

Mice need only a very small opening in order to squeeze into your house but most of the time they just come in through an open door when you aren't looking. All it takes is for an outside door to be left open and unattended even for a few seconds at dusk or early dawn on a cool day and you have a mouse in the house. Once they get in they can be hard to deal with. They like to chew little holes in a pantry or closet wall where you can't get at them and their nests will be protected. When this happens the best way to deal with it is to seal them in. I learned this from my "suegros" (in-laws). The first time we had a mouse and discovered a hole in the pantry wall Gina called her parents who, of necessity and through close association with Gina, became excellent "mousers". They arrived shortly after her cry for help with all their gear and they went right at it. First they rammed some newspaper in the hole with a broomstick to distract the mouse. On top of they they rammed in some broken bits of "barro" (clay pottery). After that they mixed together some "cemento" (Portland cement) and some "yeso" (plaster of Paris) in a 50:50 ratio and stirred in some water. With this mixture they finished filling the hole. The mixture of the two materials with water is a quick setting filler and it is still hard enough to keep the mice from easily gnawing their way back out.

Yes you can trap them too if you want and there are all kinds of traps and yada, yada, yada. In my experience though, traps are retroactive and it is always better to be proactive. A mouse can't run into your house if there are no mice around the outside your house. That is why it is important to keep the lawn short and remove any dead leaves or twigs or trash of any kind that might provide a shelter within fifty feet of your home. I have had much success using a "cebo" (SAY-boh). The word "cebo" means bait and for mice and rats it means a poison bait. These baits are only mildly harmful to humans but they cause rodents to bleed to death internally. Nevertheless one must be very careful to safeguard children and pets. I only place the baits where they can't be seen or accessed by life forms other than the intended target such as under the water pump cover or in a corner behind some big and heavy "macetas" (mah-SAY-tahs) or "flower pots". Another method that I like you can see in the pictures below.

I found that I can buy four inch diameter black plastic sewer pipe fittings in the form of a "Y" with one leg of the "Y" reduced to two inches. I can also buy black plastic caps that "snap" into the four inch openings of the "Y" leaving me with a closed chamber that has a two inch diameter entrance. Into this chamber I place my "cebo" and then bury the chamber part way into the ground or place it along an exterior wall near a door opening. The "Y" costs 30 pesos and the end caps 12 pesos each. The "cebo" comes in a jar in cubes that are about 3/4 inch by 1 inch. It cost about 125 pesos for a year's supply. It is hard and dry and odor free. The mice love it because it contains barley, one of their favorite foods. I add a fresh piece about every two weeks and about every three months I clean out the chamber and start over. No fuss, no muss, and no "Mus musculus".

Now, some people might feel that poisoning these poor creatures is inhumane. I don' because it's either me or them. That reminds me of a little mouse story that I heard years ago:

One day a Dominican nun saw little Johnny cupping something in his hands during recess at school. She said, "What do you have there Johnny?" and Johnny said, "I have a little mouse Sister". The nun said, "Well Johnny, what are you going to do with that little mouse?". Johnny said, "I haven't decided yet. Maybe I will whack him with a stick or maybe I will throw him in that mud puddle over there". The nun's eyes opened very wide and and her face got red and she said "JOHNNY!, Whatever you do to that poor little mouse I am going to do the same thing to you. Now what do you have to say?". Johnny furrowed his brow and thought for a second and then he smiled. He held his cupped hands up close to his lips and he purred:

"Little mouse, little mouse, this is your lucky day, because today I'm gonna kiss your butt".

Heaven only knows...

2010-09-30T21:24:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I went to IMSS (Instituto Mexicano del Seguro Social) for my monthly checkup. I really enjoy going to IMSS because they take good care of me and I enjoy chatting with all the people with whom I come in contact. It is a true slice of life in Mexico. Something gave me a little jolt though as I was about to leave. They made my next appointment for Tuesday, November 2nd, El Día de los Muertos. It is a good thing that I am not superstitious! Even so, last night I dreamed that I had died and gone to Heaven. I must have died very early in the morning because I was one of the first ones to arrive at the Pearly Gates, even before St. Peter got there. We could see him coming down the drive from the "Big House" in his Chrysler PT Cruiser. Hey, that is the same kind of car that I drive except that his is a lot newer and of course his is snow white.

When St. Peter stopped his car and got out I noticed that in one hand he had a ring of keys and in the other a cup of Starbuck's coffee. I did not know that Starbuck's is now available in Heaven. I had heard that there is a Starbuck's in San Miguel de Allende and that there are Starbuck's all over Hell but that is quite another matter altogether. Just as soon as St. Peter swung open the gates the crowd surged forward. St. Peter urged everyone to stay calm and said that the sooner they fell neatly into line the sooner they would be admitted to Heaven, provided of course, that all their papers were in order. I could see one lady jumping up and down waving her hand in the air like a schoolgirl and St. Peter said, "Yes, lady from Modesto, California. Don't worry, your little doggies are here. They are waiting for you in the arrivals area". All in all, St. Peter was pretty good about everything and most people had no problem getting in. He did shake his head and frown at some of them though and that had me worried. When it was finally my turn I was relieved when he shook my hand and said, "Hi Mexico Bob, I read your blog. Welcome to Heaven".

In my dream Heaven is a really cool place. After I received a big hug from Jesus I had to go check in with God the Father and that had me very scared but Jesus had already put in a good word for me and God the Father was pretty genial. I really like Him (AHEM!), I mean I really love Him. Then I had a chance to see my Mom & Dad and all my relatives and ancestors all the way back to Adam & Eve, who by the way, are a very nice couple. There is just so much to see and do in Heaven. I came to this one auditorium that was like a big screening room and I saw Abe Lincoln, George Washington, Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, Franklin Roosevelt, Everett Dirksen, Tip O'Neil and just about every well known deceased politician you can think of except for the ones that went astray. The front wall was covered with big screen televisions and all were tuned to different news programs. There was ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN, MSNBC, Bloomberg, etcetera. I asked Thomas Jefferson why FOX News Channel wasn't represented and he told me that FOX News is a creation of the Devil and that it had no place in Heaven. Anyway, I was happy to see that all of the old timers were rooting for Barack Obama and the Democrats. That's a good sign. If Heaven is for you who can be against you?

Well, needless to say, this morning when I woke up I was back in my own bed here on Earth but Heaven was so real that I am sure that I had a glimpse of it. When my time comes I won't mind going there one bit. After all...I already know the routine.

Raindrops falling from my eyes...

2010-09-28T20:39:00.003-05:00

Chapter 5, verse 45 of book of Matthew in the Bible contains the Sermon on the Mount during which Jesus mentions that the Father in Heaven makes the sun rise on both good and evil and he makes it rain on both the just and the unjust alike. I suppose that is okay by me for after all, who am I to argue with God? The thing that concerns me is that He also makes it rain on the rich and the poor alike and in that case I am sure that the rich have an easier time of it. However, looking at it from God's point of view (I only wish) it seems like the most logical thing to do is to stay out of the weather business altogether except for reminding us of His covenant with Noah by showing us an occasional rainbow. This past week we are also reminded of how devastating too much rain can be as we watched the situation unfold in the states of Veracruz, Tabasco, and Oaxaca.

Here in Irapuato in the Bajío Region of the central highlands we have been blessed with a fairly normal summer rainy season. It isn't always like that. When I arrived in Irapuato about ten years ago it was at the tail end of a serious drought and the land was bone dry. On the flip side, the last serious flood occurred back on August 23rd, 1973 and it was devastating. People here still talk about it, especially on the anniversary every year. As bad as that flood was though, it pales in comparison with what has happened to other places in Mexico, not to mention China, Pakistan, and even Europe. For that matter, the people of New Orleans deserve a shout out as well, particularly the people of Plaquemine Parish and those of the 9th Ward.

In any given place on any given day there are no doubt some people praying for rain and others praying for sunshine. On one block a woman may be praying fervently for sunshine on her daughter's wedding and one block over a man might be praying for rain to keep his prize winning tomatoes from wilting in the heat. When I was a kid and the weatherman forecast snow we prayed for lots of it so the school would close and we could all go sledding while my poor old Dad the mail carrier was praying for mercy. As far as the weather is concerned I think that God just lets that part of His creation run itself.

I heard a story here about a couple who had two sons. One son was a farmer and the other was a rancher. The father went to see his son the farmer and he asked him how things were going. His son told him that things were great and that it looked like he was going to have a huge crop of wheat unless it rained. If it rained withing the next fifteen days the wheat would be ruined. Then he went to visit the son who was a rancher and asked him how things were going. His son told him that they weren't going very well at all. He said that it had been too dry and that the water holes were drying up and if it didn't rain within the next fifteen days he would probably loose all his cattle. The man went home feeling very sad and when he got home he hung his hat upon the usual peg and his wife said to him "So, how are the boys?" and he looked at her and what do you think he said? Well I really don't know what he said but if he loved his wife he probably just said "Fine dear, just fine..."

I made a bear!

2010-09-26T19:22:00.004-05:00

In México when someone makes a stupid or an embarrassing mistake they often say:

Hice un oso.
I made a bear.

If it was a really embarrassing mistake they might say:

Trágame tierra.
Swallow me earth. (Cover me with dirt as in "bury me")

Well, the other day "hice un oso" but I am not quite ready for the dirt. It happened when was leaving the shop in my wonderful 2004 slate gray Chrysler PT Cruiser. The shop where I work is located on a gravel street in an industrial park and we share the street with some companies that use huge trucks. One of these establishments is a cement plant so you can just imagine. Anyway, during the summer rains the street gets all beat to heck and sometimes there are pot holes that I swear could swallow a Volkswagen. In order to navigate successfully we have to memorize the location of the pot holes like the old Mississippi River paddle wheel captains had to memorize the river bed to avoid running aground. Whenever it rains heavily the pot holes (baches in Spanish) fill up with water so you can't tell which are the deep ones and which are the shallow ones unless you can remember which is which. Well, my memory must be failing me because I drove through a deep one thinking it was shallow and my oil pan bottomed out on a rock at the bottom. I felt a big thud but kept on going hoping and praying that it was just a bump to the underframe.

When I got home I had to stop and get out of the car to open the carport gate and after I moved the car into the carport I noticed some drops of oil on the pavement where the car had been temporarily standing. "Oh-oh", I thought, "That ain't good". It turned out that I was right. I called my friend Enrique, whom we call Quique (pronounced KEE-kay) for short, and he sent a tilt-bed truck to fetch my poor car. In a half hour we had it up on the rack and it was pretty clear by then that I had rendered the oil pan irreparable. Would you believe that it is made out of cast aluminum and that a replacement is very expensive? I am sure that you would. Well, this will teach me to be more careful but it was an expensive lesson. Like they say in St. Louis, "It may have made Bud wiser" but it made Bob several thousand pesos poorer.

The Ying and the Yang of it is that whenever something bad happens there is also something good in there somewhere and vice-versa. This case was no exception. I may have lost an oil pan but I gained some good vocabulary. I will start with the word for "oil pan" and keep going:

cárter inferior del cigüeñal (KAHR-tehr een-fehr-ee-YOHR dehl see-gwehn-YAHL)
oil pan

cárter superior del cigüeñal (KAHR-tehr soo-pehr-ee-YOHR dehl see-gwehn-YAHL)
crankcase

cigüeñal (see-gwehn-YAHL)
crankshaft

cojinetes del cigüeñal (koh-hee-NEH-tes dehl see-gwehn-YAHL)
crankshaft main bearings

muñón del cigüeñal (moon-YOHN dehl see-gwehn-YAHL)
crankshaft bearing journal

polea de cigüeñal (poh-LEY-ah del see-gwehn-YAHL)
crankshaft pulley

volante del cigüeñal (voh-LAHN-teh del see-gwehn-YAHL)
(alternate) volante de embrague (voh-LAHN-teh del ehm-BRAH-gey)
flywheel

árbol de levas (AHR-bohl deh LAY-vahs)
camshaft

válvula de admisión (VAHL-voo-la deh ahd-mee-SEOHN)
intake valve

válvula de escape (VAHL-voo-la deh ess-CAH-peh)
exhaust valve

levanta válvulas (ley-VAHN-tah VAHL-voo-las)
valve lifter

resorte de válvulas (rey-SOHR-teh de VAHL-voo-las)
valve spring

cilindro (see-LIHN-droh)
cylinder

pistón
piston (pees-TOHN)

faldón del pistón (fahl-DOHN del pees-TOHN)
piston skirt

bulón (boo-LOHN)
(alternate) perno de pistón (PEHR-noh del pees-TOHN)
wrist pin (piston pin)

anillos de compresión (ah-NEE-yohs de kohm-preh-SEEOHN)
(alternate) aros de compresión (AH-rohs de kohm-preh-SEEOHN)
compression rings (piston rings)

biela (bee-EH-lah)
connecting rod

muñón de biela ( moon-YOHN de bee-EH-lah)
connecting rod journal

cojinetes de las bielas (koh-hee-NEH-tes de las bee-EH-lah)
connecting rod bearings

bomba de aceite (BOHM-bah deh ah-SAY-tay)
oil pump

cadena de distribución (kah-dey-nah deh dees-tree-boo-SEEOHN)
(alternate) correa de distribución (kohr-REY-ah deh dees-tree-boo-SEEOHN)
timing chain (or belt)

culata de cilindro (koo-LAH-tah deh see-LIHN-droh)
cylinder head

empaque de culata (em-PAH-keh deh koo-LAH-tah )
head gasket

cámara de combustión (KAH-mah-rah deh kohm-boo-STEEOHN)
combustion chamber

colector de admisión (koh-lek-TOR deh ahd-mee-SEEOHN)
intake manifold

colector de escape (koh-lek-TOR deh ess-KAH-peh)
exhaust manifold

mofle (MOH-flay)
muffler

varilla de medición de aceite (vah-REE-yah deh meh-dee-SEEOHN de ah-SAY-tay)
oil dipstick

bobina de encendido (boh-BEE-nah de ehn-sehn-DEE-doh)
ignition coil

bujía (boo-HEE-ah)
spark plug

distribuidor (dees-treeb-bwee-DOHR)
distributor

tapa de distribuidor (TAH-pah deh dees-treeb-bwee-DOHR)
distributor cap

bomba de combustible (BOHM-bas deh kom-boos-TEEB-leh)
fuel pump

inyector de combustible (een-YEHK-tor deh kom-boos-TEEB-leh)
fuel injector

carburador (cahr-boo-rah-DOHR)
carburetor

motor de arranque (moh-TOHR de ahr-REYN-kay)
starting motor

I am thinking that perhaps some of you may have fallen into a deep trance before you got this far. I'll bet that I know who you are. When I count to three and snap my fingers you will awaken feeling very refreshed. One, two, three...SNAP! Hey! Bliss in San Carlos...don't forget to add these words to your flash cards. There will be an exam next week.

From the land of Robin Hood...periodically!

2010-09-23T18:19:00.000-05:00

In my job, and especially over the course of the last few years, I find myself dealing increasingly with matters related to chemicals. I don't actually handle chemicals myself but I work in the Transportation Industry in a position that requires me to stay up-to-date on rules and regulations for things like safe confined space entry, material safety data related to product residues, and the proper marking of containers that carry products considered to be potentially hazardous. On the shelf above my desk you will find a well thumbed Emergency Response Guide and a copy of Hawley's Condensed Chemical Dictionary.

Recently I thought it might be both interesting and helpful if I learned the Periodic Table of Elements by heart to the point that I could draw a good portion of it from memory on a sheet of paper. I saw no need to include the f-block Lanthanoids (rare earth elements) or Actinoids (radioactive elements) and certainly not the so-called "synthetic" elements from atomic number 104 on up. Mainly I would like to concentrate on the elements that are relative to what I may encounter in my job at some point. I just happened to be browsing the Internet for a nice copy of the Periodic Table when I came across a website of the University of Nottingham in England that is dedicated to the Periodic Table and uses little video vignettes to tell stories about each element. Once you hear a story it helps to locate the element in its proper place on the chart. It is an amazing undertaking. They have produced a very interesting video for each of the elements. You can find the site by clicking on this link: The Periodic Table of Videos

They have another interesting site related to chemistry at: Test Tube

There is also a neat site related to Mathematical Symbols called: Sixty Symbols

I am delighted by another site of theirs that is dedicated to words and I suggest that you visit it and start with the French wine term "terroir". You can find it at: Words of the World

Who knew that Nottingham is more than Sherwood Forest and the old stomping grounds for Robin Hood and his Merry Men? It just so happens that Nottingham is the seventh-largest urban area in the United Kingdom and the home of a university that ranks in the top 1% of universities worldwide. If I were a young man or woman in high school who is thinking about going to a great university I would definitely consider the University of Nottingham. However, for me, the second best thing is to take advantage of what they have to offer on line. It is not only educational. It is FUN!

Come and get it!

2010-09-20T16:44:00.001-05:00

The other day my friend Javi Nava sent me some photos of a country chicken roast that was done by stacking chickens over vegetables and then roasting them under metal cans. The photos below will explain the process better than I can. It sure looks like a good idea. All you need are some metal pans with a rod attached to the center and some five gallon (19 liter) cans that will fit over them. For a fire you can use any old wood or even tree or brush trimmings. I was thinking about trying this myself but I ran into a slight problem. Since I only have a small back yard I am afraid that the aroma of roasting chickens would draw all of my neighbors and there wouldn't be enough chicken to go around. I could always add more chickens but then the additional smoke and flames might draw the "bomberos" (firemen) and I still wouldn't have enough chicken to feed everyone. Civilization is not an ideal place for this method of cooking. Nooooo, to really make this work what you need is a place out in the middle of nowhere like perhaps the hills around Pátzcuaro. The only other thing I can say is:

A mi me gusta pollo rostizado. Las fotos se me hacen agua la boca.
I really like roast chicken. The pictures make my mouth water!

Note to my fellow Spanish students: Why do I say "Las fotos" and not "Los fotos"? Because the word "fotos" is short for "fotografías" and fotografías is feminine.

Where the rubber meets the road.

2010-09-17T19:41:00.003-05:00

The other day I was just leaving the house and going out to my car when suddenly I got that sinking feeling. You know the one. It's that feeling you get when you discover that you have a flat tire. It is a feeling halfway between frustration and anger...frustration because you didn't see it coming and anger because...well just because! Oooooo it makes me so mad! Then, what do you do about it? You don't have many options. You can squat down and change the flat to a spare but if you only have one of those skinny emergency spares then what good does that do? You can try to fill the tire with one of those aerosol cans of sealant but unless the leak is very tiny all that they do is make a mess. I have found that the best thing to do is try and fill the tire with enough air to get you to a "vulcanizadora" or "tire repair shop" and let a "talachero" or "tire repair guy" repair it for you. For this reason I always carry one of those little "buzz box" air compressors in my trunk, the kind that plugs into your dashboard. I just hook it up and let it buzz away for about twenty minutes and if the leak isn't too bad I will have enough air in the tire to drive it a mile or two.

I thought it would be good to pass on some tire repair terminology to my fellow students of Mexican Spanish. The word for tire is "llanta" (YAHN-tah) although you may also hear a tire referred to as a "neumático " (new-MAHT-ee-koh). A flat tire on the car is most often called a "ponchadura" (POHN-chah-doo-rah) but sometimes you may also hear "pinchazo" (peen-CHAH-zou). Once off the car the flat may be called "una llanta ponchada". There are several ways to say "I had a flat tire":

Se ponchó la llanta.

Se me ponchó la llanta.

Se me ponchó mi llanta.

I like to use the first one because it sounds more like it was the tire's fault. In English we say "I had a flat" and it sounds like we are the guilty party but not in Mexico. Here you say "the tire got flat" as if the tire was the guilty party.

I already mentioned that a tire repair shop is called a "vulcanizadora" and technically the tire repair person is a "vulcanizador" but most often they will be called a "talachero" (tah-lah-CHER-oh). The word "talachero" means handy man or repairman having something to do with automobiles but below the level of a full fledged mechanic. Generally it is tires. The "jack" to raise the car is called a "gato" (GAH-toh) which is the same word used for a cat as in "kitty-cat". There are three types of jack. A bumper jack is called a "gato de patín" (pah-TEEN), a scissors jack is called a "gato de tijeras" (tee-HERR-ahs), and a hydraulic jack is called a "gato hidráulico" (ee-DRAU-lee-koh). The wheel rim is called a "rin" (reen) and the plural of "rin" is "rines" (REE-ness). A wheel complete with tire and rim is called a "rueda" (roo-whey-dah). The part of the wheel that fits over the axle or "eje" (EH-hey) that we call a "hub" in English is a "maza" (MAH-zah) in Spanish. The studs that hold the wheel in place are called "birlos" (BEER-lohs) and the nuts are called "tuercas" (TWEHR-kahz). The holes in the wheel that fit over the "birlos" are called "barrenos" (bahr-REY-nos). A hub cap is called a "POHL-vehr-ah" meaning "dust cover".

Are you still with me? We have a ways to go yet. A lug wrench in the form of a cross is called a "llave de cruz" (YAH-vey dey krooz) or also a "cruzeta" (kroo-zeh-tah). A regular lug wrench in the form of an "L" is called a "llave con cola" which means "wrench with a tail". Note that the word "llave" can mean a key, a wrench, or a faucet. You have to get the meaning out of the context. An air operated impact wrench is called a "pistola neumática". The nuts are tightened to a sufficient torque or "torsión" (tohr-SEEOHN) that can be measured with a "torquimétro" (tohr-kee-MEHT-roh) or in English, a "torqometer".

Now…what if your tire has an inner tube? An inner tube is called a "cámara" (CAH-mah-rah) which is short for "cámara de aire" (KAH-mah-ah dey EYE-rey) which means "air chamber". An air hose is called a "manguera de aire" (mahn-GEHR-ah dey EYE-rey) and the fitting on the end of the air hose that lets you put "aire" into a tire is called a "sargento" (sahr-HEHN-toh) which is the same word used for army sergeant. You attach the "manguera" with the "sargento" to the "válvula" (VAHL-voo-lah) or "valve". Technically the gauge that you use to measure the air pressure is called a "manómetro de aire" (mahn-OH-meh-tro dey EYE-rey) but most people refer to it as a "pesador de aire" (pess-ah-DOOR dey EYE-rey) or "weigher of air" since the air pressure is in "libras" (LEE-brahs) meaning "pounds". Sometimes you will also hear people refer to it as a "calibrador de aire" (kah-lee-brah-DOOR dey EYE-rey). An air leak is called a "fuga de aire" (FOO-gah dey EYE-rey) or just plain "fuga". An air compressor is called a "compresor de aire" (cohm-preh-SOHR de EYE-rey). A spare tire is a "llanta de refacción" (YAHN-tah dey ree-fahk-SEEOHN).

Wow! All that nonsense and we still haven't got to the patch yet! Well, here we go. You will basically hear two different names for a "parche de llanta" (PAHR-chey de YAHN-tah) or "tire patch". One is "parche vulcanizado" (PAHR-chey vuhl-kahn-ee-ZAH-doh) which is a hot patch and the other is a "parche tip top" (PAHR-chey teep tohp) which is a cold patch. The name "Tip Top" is a brand name for tire patching equipment and materials made by the REMA Tip Top company of Germany and it is a world-wide product that is the standard for chemically bonded tire patches. For this reason the Term "tip top" in Mexico is synonymous with chemically bonded patches no matter who makes them. Actually, the REMA TipTop system is the best way to patch a tire in my opinion as long as it is done right. The thing is to find a talachero who really knows his stuff. Many of the vulcanizadora shops that you see are rather dirty, grungy places with a bunch of oddball looking characters hanging around. Finding a good place to take your tire is like looking for a good barber or a good dentist. In the U.S. you would probably take your flat tire to a tire dealer but here in Mexico the tire dealer will more often than not send you to a vulcanizadora or a talachero.

The REMA TipTop system for modern passenger and light truck cross-ply, belted, and radial tires comes in two versions. Both are a combination tire plug and tire patch. One version comes in two pieces and the other version is one piece. Both versions require that you remove the tire from the rim. If you watch the two videos below you will see how the job is supposed to be done. This will give you a basis for comparison. If your talachero isn't repairing your tire in a similar fashion to the videos then you may have a reason to worry. If you have followed me all the way down to this point and still think that the whole subject is just too boring to deal with I suggest that you print this out and tuck it in your glove box. Some one of these days you just may be glad that you did.

Happy Motoring!

Two Piece Repair

Minicombi Repair

¡Viva México!

2010-09-15T19:28:00.007-05:00

Today as we left work today an hour early (thanks Boss) some of the workers shouted:

¡Viva México cabrones, hijos de la chingada!

This roughly translates to "Long live Mexico you bastards, sons of he great rape!". They didn't use the exact same words two hundred years ago when Miguel Hidalgo gave the shout that began the struggle for Mexican Independence, but the same sentiment was there. As rude as it may seem it is this little kernel of defiance that lives on in the hearts and minds of the Mexican people. No American or Canadian can truly understand exactly what it represents but in general it signifies that no matter what may happen and how unfair life can be, the Mexican people are survivors and they are very proud of their country and their heritage.

For the last eleven years Mexico and her people have been very kind to me and tonight, together with my wife Gina and her family, I will participate in the 200 year celebration of the spark that put the people of this country on the path to freedom and self determination. I believe that in a few short years Mexico will take its place among the great and powerful countries of the world and it is the children of this generation who will be the leaders. For this reason at 11:pm this evening I will add my voice to the shout of "Viva México" by Mexican people everywhere.

It is interesting to note that at the time of the “El Grito de Dolores” by Miguel Hidalgo in 1810, the people of Dolores referred to themselves as Americans to differentiate themselves from the Spaniards because at that time the the name of the country was “Nueva España” or “New Spain”. The name “Mexico” had not yet come into vogue and wouldn't until 1821. The exact details of the actual shout have long been debated by historians but a popular consensus is that it went something like this:

¡Viva la Independencia!
Long live Independence!

¡Viva America!
Long live America!

¡Muera el mal gobierno!
Death to bad government!

Of course nowadays they shout “¡Viva México!” Instead of “¡Viva America!” but how ironic it is that the third line of the shout is “Death to bad government!”. It seems like this cry is just as apropos today all over the world the same as it was in Mexico two hundred years ago.

¡Viva México!

Rooting out all that evil.

2010-09-12T16:13:00.005-05:00

The other day I was reading a wonderful blog written by my blogger friend Leslie Harris de Limón called "Motherhood in Mexico" and she was talking about an unpleasant experience that she had with a Mexican home remedy. I just had a rather pleasant experience with a home remedy and so I thought I should blog about it too. This home remedy is more for the older crowd so if you don't remember Ted Mack and "The Original Amatuer Hour" then this remedy may not be what you need. Those who do remember Ted Mack will probably remember that the program was sponsored by "Serutan" which was a laxative. The manufacturer, J. B. Williams Co., capriciously decided to name the product Serutan which is "Natures" spelled backwards, and the product's advertising slogan was "Read it backwards". You may also remember that the program started with Ted Mack spinning the Wheel of Fortune and chanting "Round and round she goes and where she stops nobody knows".

Okay, I confess. Every now and then I get constipated. There! I said it. To say "I am constipated" in Spanish you can say "Estoy estreñido" (ess-trehn-YEE-doh). You can ask the pharmacist "¿Qué puedes darme para el estrenimiento?" (What can you give me for constipation?). For some reason or other I usually get "estreñido" after eating "milanesa de res" which is a breaded cut of round steak or something similar. The cheaper the cut of meat the worse the constipation is. I always end up eating it out of politeness and then it takes me a week to get over it. Up until now I have tried various laxatives with varying degrees of success but no miracle cure. Then one day my suegra (mother-in-law) Carmelita overheard me talking to my wife Gina about needing to get some more laxative the next time we go shopping. She said that she had a better idea and took us to her friend the medicinal herb lady at the market. We bought a little bag of dried leaves called "Senna" for a few pesos and what a treasure it turned out to be. The Latin name for Senna is "Senna alexandrina" and it has been used to relieve constipation for thousands of years. You put about a tablespoon of dried leaves in a pot of boiling water and let it steep for a little while and then you strain it and drink a cup of it like tea. The taste is not unpleasant either. Then in about eight hours you go the bathroom and dump your load and come out smiling.

Now for the disclaimer. Note that you shouldn't make the tea too strong or drink more than one cup at a time or you may get the cramps. You shouldn't take this stuff more than a few days in a row either and you shouldn't have to. If you need more laxative than that then there must be something else wrong with you. If you are over 60 and Senna makes you squint to see fine print or makes you forget where you put things or makes little hairs grow out of your ears then that's okay because that stuff is preconditional and a little bit more won't hurt you. By the way, Senna is already becoming a popular ingredient in many over the counter laxatives so all you will be doing is cutting out the middle man. So, there you have it folks. When it comes to things scatalogical or coprological just ask an expert.

My wife the artist.

2010-09-09T19:59:00.000-05:00

My wife Gina is an artist but she does not work with pencils, or watercolors, or clay or any of the traditional art mediums. All of her artwork is done in a material that I call "Zest for Life". She puts a little artwork in everything that she does. I especially realized that this morning as I was leaving the house. I collected the lunch that she prepared for me from the refrigerator and as I turned around I noticed the little basket that she keeps on the kitchen counter. It is where she keeps the odds and ends that she uses in her daily cooking and it changes from day to day. It usually contains an onion or two and perhaps a ripe tomato, a head of garlic, and some chilies of different varieties. This morning it looked particularly nice so I grabbed my camera and took the picture that you see below. It is one of the things that endears her to me. It seems like whatever she does is worthy of a picture.

Click on picture to enlarge.

Tying the Knot

2010-09-07T20:36:00.001-05:00

My wife Gina and I have been married for only two and a half years but the courtship or "noviazgo" took more than five years. It was stretched out a bit by some major thoracic surgery on my part and a mastectomy due to breast cancer on her part but nevertheless the process of getting married took quite awhile. As a matter of fact and since I don't want to go to Hell for lying, I must tell you that there is still one little item that we need to take care of but I will surprise you with that at some future date. When we began the process I was still pretty compulsive about planning and making lists for which, gracias a Dios, I have since been cured or at least the major symptoms have abated. Today I just happened to come across one of my old notebooks in which I actually wrote a checklist for my courtship and marriage in Mexico. I thought you might be either amused, interested, enlightened, or perhaps even horrified of at all the steps involved. Here we go:

Los Pasos Noviazgo al Matrimonio de Bob y Gina
The Steps from Courtship to Marriage of Bob and Gina

Atracción
Attraction

Amistad
Friendship

Citas Casuales
Casual dates

Conocimiento
Getting to know one another

Relación Especial
Forming a special relation

Exclusividad
Going Steady

Relación Firme
A Strong Relation

Precompromiso
Talking about marriage

Declaración de Compromiso
Popping the Question

Anillo de Compromiso
Engagement Ring

Presentacón de Mano (Petición)
Asking for the Brides Hand in Marriage

Amonestaciones
Wedding Banns

Curso Prematrimonial para Novios
Religious Instruction for the Engaged Couple

Despedidas
Bachelor and Bachelorette Parties

Padrinos de Velación
Choosing the Witnesses

Casamiento Civil
Civil Ceremony

Casamiento Religioso
Wedding Mass

Banquete Nupcial
Wedding Feast

Luna de Miel
Honeymoon

Below is a picture from our civil wedding which took place in the living and dining room of Gina's parents' house. I am in the background holding Gina's little grandson Ian and she is in the foreground in the black and white dress. Very pretty, eh? The rest of the people are nieces and cousins of Gina. This is my favorite picture. I am surrounded by angels!

I'll see you in a little bit!

2010-09-05T15:27:00.002-05:00

Time, here in Irapuato, is not something that we worry much about. I used to, but I don't anymore. There always seems to be plenty of time to get things done and if they don't get done "on time"...so what? Things almost always seem to get done eventually. I have learned the hard way that enjoying life is much more important than "saving time". Save time for what, so you can do more work? Forget about it! The often touted "Puritan Work Ethic" found north of the border is really nothing more than the "Rat Race" under another name. As the late Jimmy Reid, the well known Scottish labor leader and journalist once said, "A rat race is for rats. We are not rats. We are Human Beings. Reject the insidious pressures in society that would blunt your critical faculties to all that is happening around you...". Old habits die hard, however, and I still sometimes feel that the hands of the clock are messing with my conscience as if they were mussing up my hair.

There is a word in Mexican Spanish that you will probably hear a lot. The word is "ahorita" and it is the diminutive form of "ahora" (ah-OR-ah) which means "now" in English You could say that "ahorita" is the diminutive form of "now" or in other words "ahorita" means "in a little bit". Ahorita is pronounced more or less as ow-REE-tah. The phrase "Ahorita vengo" translates as "I'll be right back" but in Mexico it doesn't mean "I'll be right back for sure". Many times it is just used as a place holder and the actual time that elapses between going and coming back can vary quite a bit. In fact, in some cases it means that the person probably won't return. For example, if you are sitting next to someone at a party or a wedding and the conversation gets dull they may say, "Con permiso, ahorita vengo". They are asking your pardon to absent themselves for a moment as if they need to go to the restroom or they saw a friend that they want to say hello to. In reality, they just want to leave you and don't want to say something awkward. Both parties understand what is happening and it is no big deal. It is just being polite. If someone really means that they will be right back for sure they will often say, "Ahoritita vengo". That means that they positively will return in a little bit. Ahoritita is pronounced like ow-ree-TEE-tah.

My wife Gina is always saying to me "Ahorita vengo" or "Ahorita nos vemos" (We'll see each other in a little bit). That could mean anything from ten minutes to two or three hours unless she bumps into one of her friends or relatives and then it might take an hour longer. This doesn't bother me anymore because now I do it too. If I want to pin her down to a specific time the best that I can do is to get her to say "Cinco pasaditas" or "Pasaditas de las cinco". The word "pasaditas" (pah-sah-DEE-tah) is a diminutive form of "pasadas" as in "Son las cinco pasadas" meaning "It is after five o'clock". However, just like "ahorita" stretches out "ahora", pasaditas stretches out pasadas. That means that "cinco pasaditas" could actually mean anytime between five and six.

I write about words like "ahorita" and "pasaditas" for my friends who are climbing the "Learning Mexican Spanish" mountain with me. Pasaditas is a word that you probably won't find in the dictionary and if you plug it into Google you will get thousands of returns for a popular restaurant in Chicago called "Las Pasaditas". There are so many undocumented words and phrases that are used as idiomatic expressions in every day speech that it is difficult if not impossible to remember them when you want to speak but on the other hand it is very comforting to be able to recognize them when they are spoken by others so that you can understand exactly what is being said. My suggestion is to pick a handful of idiomatic expressions that you like and practice them with your Spanish speaking friends so that you get them right and then pick another bunch and start over. Like old Zig Ziglar, the famous motivational speaker always says, "I'll see you at the top!"...

¡ Ahorita !

No charge?

2010-09-03T15:50:00.003-05:00

The other day I bought some batteries because I wanted to change the batteries in all of our clocks and flashlights since we always forget to do that and sooner or later they cease to function like an over-the-hill energizer bunny. I took down a clock and removed the battery and chucked it into the kitchen garbage can. Suddenly I felt a tug on my trousers and I looked down and discovered the source of my interruption was Gina's little five year old grandson. His name is Ian, whom we call Chiqui (CHEE-key) which is short for "Chiquito" (little one). He said, "Grampa, you shouldn't throw the battery in the trash because it will hurt the animals and the plants. You must take the old batteries to a place where they destroy them properly". I asked him where he had learned about that and he told me in kindergarten. Hmmm, that's strange, I never learned that in kindergarten.

I began to wonder why they didn't teach him something more practical like how to wash my car. Just then Gina chimes in and says, "Why don't you change the rest of the batteries and then we can all take them down to the IMSS (Instituto Mexicano del Seguro Social)? They have a collection point there". I said "Duhh, okay" and proceeded with the battery change-out. I had barely resumed my task when there was another annoying tug at my pants leg. It was Chiqui again. He said "Grampa, what about the battery that you threw in the trash? We must take that one too. So, there I was half upside down in a trash bin and searching through the egg shells and coffee grounds for an AA battery. Lucky for me I was able to grasp the battery and stand up before I passed out.

We went down to the IMSS and walked through the entrance and down the hall to the battery collection point with Chiqui clutching his little treasure bag full of old batteries and skipping along like Winnie the Pooh. The collection point looked like an environmental altar with various bags and bundles of used batteries piled on it and a bunch of slogans stuck to the base. There was one large banner in particular that said:

Ponte las pilas a limpiar Irapuato!

This is a very cute sign with a double meaning. On one hand it suggests "Put your batteries here to clean-up Irapuato" and on the other hand it means "Get busy (or get to work) and clean up Irapuato".

The word "ponte" (POHN-teh) is a very handy word. It is the second person singular imperative form of the reflexive verb "ponerse" which means "to put on" as in clothing or "to become" as in "get busy".

Examples:

¡Ponte las pilas!
¡Get enthused!

¡Ponte a trabajar!
Get to work!

¡Ponte a jalar!
Start pulling!

¡Ponte de pie!
Stand up!

¡Ponte en forma!
Get in shape!

¡Ponte listo!
Get ready! or Be sharp!

¡Ponte el sombrero!
Put on your hat!

¡Ponte a escribir!
Start writing!

¡Ponte a estudiar!
Start studying!

The word "pila" of course means "battery" as in dry cell battery but it can also mean a "font" such as a "pila de agua bendita" (Holy water font) or a "pila de bautismo" (Baptismal font). There is a verse in the Spanish birthday song "Las Mañanitas" that goes:

El día en que tu naciste nacieron todas las flores
The day you were born all the flowers were born
En la pila del bautismo, cantaron los ruiseñores
On the baptismal font the nightingales sang

So, how did our little excursion to IMSS to save the Earth turn out? Fantastic! We left there in great spirits after having done our civic duty with heads held high and chests puffed out. Ian held each of our hands and skipped along between us, happy in the realization that every now and then he can teach old grampa a thing or two. I don't know how many birds and bees and trees we saved this time but the next time I see someone throw a battery in the trash I will stand up straight and put my hands on my hips (if I can find them) and say "Hey! What the heck are you doing?" knowing that I have already earned the right. Why don't you join us, the Irapuato Battery Police. Hmm, I think I'll start working on our theme song. Oooo! Oooo! We will need uniforms too!

Don't be a grinch!

2010-08-30T22:06:00.003-05:00

One of the best Spanish teachers that I have besides my wife Gina and my "compañeros de trabajo" (fellow workers) is my friend Benjamin Arredondo from Salamanca and the author of the blog, "El Bable". Today Benja (BEHN-hah), as I call him, came up with a great sentence:

Ni hablar, ¡festejemos el Bicentenario, para que nos hacemos garras el hígado!
It goes without saying, let's celebrate the Bicentennial. What for we claw at our liver!

He was talking about all the things that have been going wrong lately. It is difficult to translate this sentence directly into English. It means that there are bad things not worth mentioning and we should celebrate the bicentennial and not let the bad stuff eat away at us. In Spanish the phrase "garras el hígado" means claw the liver which is considered to be the most delicate body organ. In other words the phrase "hacemos garras el hígado" means "let it eat away at our guts".

You might go to a party and later say to a friend:

En la fiesta hubo gente no grata pero decidí divertirme y no me hice garras el hígado.
At the party there were some unwelcome people but I decided to have fun and not let it bother me.

Another example would be:

Fuimos de paseo al lago con los niños y llegó mi tio aguafiestas. No me hice garras el hígado y disfruté el paseo.
We made an outing to the lake with the kids and my uncle the grinch arrived. I didn't let it bother me and I enjoyed the outing.

There is a bonus word here. The word "aguafiestas" is someone who always throws cold water (or a wet blanket) on a party like a grinch.

So, like my blogger friend Gloria of the blog "Viva la Vida" always says, the word for the day is "aguafiestas" as in:

¡No seas un aguafiestas!
Don't be a grinch!

The Evil Eye

2010-08-28T19:24:00.003-05:00

At some time during you stay in Mexico, and especially if you live here permanently, you may hear the term "limpia de huevo" or in other words a "cleansing by egg". This cleansing is part of the cure for a number of infirmities that can be generally catergorized as either a "mal de ojo", an "espanto", an "empacho", or a "caída de mollera". The first three can relate to anybody but the last one, la "caída de mollera" is related to children under two years of age. I will try to explain them one at a time.

El Mal de Ojo literally means "bad eye," but in a broader sense it is the cross-cultural belief in evil eye. Mal de ojo occurs when someone who is weak, or an infant or a child, is stared at by a person with a piercing glance especially if the stare is a result of jealousy or envy. The stare is said to make the affected person's spirit sick. The symptoms of mal de ojo include headaches, high fever, fretfulness, and in the case of children, weeping and a refusal to eat or sleep.

El Espanto is an illness that can affect anyone at any age. It usually originates when someone receives a sudden fright and is terrified. The person becomes listless and depressed, doesn't want to talk, doesn't want to eat, can't sleep, is feverish, and wants to remain in bed. It is also called "La pérdida de la sombra" or "Loss of the shadow" meaning that a person's shadow, symbolizing his or her soul, has separated from their body. It is said that the person suffers from "tired blood". To hear people talk about it the symptoms of the most serious cases sound like what we might call "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder" in English. The mildest cases and probably most frequent are children who wake up from a nightmare crying for their mommy, trembling, and bathed in sweat who don't want to go back asleep again.

El Empacho is usually caused by some dietary problem such as a lump of food that sticks to the walls of the intestines or the stomach often caused by a sudden change in infant formula. Other causes of empacho include eating improperly cooked foods or swallowing hard to digest items such as chewing gum. All age groups are potentially susceptible to an empacho with infants being at the highest risk followed by children. Symptoms of an empacho can be bloating, vomiting, constipation, diarrhea, and lethargy in general.

La Caída de Mollera is a bit more complicated and can be a very serious matter mainly because it occurs in infants. The Spanish word "mollera" in this case means "fontanelle" in English and it is the diamond shaped area in the front part of the top of the skull in infants where the bones of the skull take up to two years to fully close from the time of birth. A "caída de mollera" is when this area becomes sunken in, due in most cases to dehydration. The dehydration can come from a disease that causes vomiting or dysentery or any number of situations where the tiny body of the infant lacks sufficient fluids. There is sometimes a lot of guilt associated with a caída de mollera and a young mother thinking that it his her fault for handling the baby too roughly or removing the baby's mouth from her breast too rapidly, then takes the baby to a "curandero" or "healer". Some curaderos are quite knowledgeable but there are others who are merely quacks. The bad curandero may turn the baby upside down and hold it by its feet or put his finger in the baby's mouth and push up on the roof of the mouth trying to get the mollera to pop up again. The real culprit, however, is the dehydration and if the baby isn't re-hydrated within a few hours it will die. When this happens there is much shame attached to the mother. Nowadays, thanks to modern education and access to proper medical care this is becoming a thing of the past in Mexico but in some rural areas it can still happen.

Now, this is where the "limpia de huevo" comes in to play. All of the above conditions are candidates for the egg cleansing in conjunction with other treatment. In the case of the first three it is amazingly effective although I would attribute most of the cure if not all, not to the egg, but to love and faith. In the case of children most of the problem usually stems from some kind of stomach ailment. Someone, usually a grandmother, will take an egg (preferably from a black feathered chicken if available) and pass the unbroken egg all over the body of the child while reciting either the Lord's Prayer or the Apostles Creed (whichever is the local custom). Depending upon the specific situation sometimes they will use a bundle of an herb called "epazote" (Dysphania ambrosioides) instead of an egg. Afterward passing the egg over the body they crack open the egg and put it in a glass jar and set it under the bed (same with the epazote) and in the morning the egg will have become darker and one should be able to see one or more bubble-like "ojos" or "eyes". The epazote has no visible changes. The mother or grandmother then takes the egg (or the epazote) away from the house and throws it in a ditch over her shoulder and returns to the house being careful not to look back lest the "mal de ojo" return. In the case of a child having stomach troubles the grandma also gently rubs their tummy with lard or cooking oil in a soothing manner and whispers prayers and lullabies until the child falls asleep. She also gives them a powder called "Estomaquil" mixed with a little water or oil. The Estomaquil is available in all farmacias and is the Mexican variety of "Milk of Magnesia". Yes, the cure does have its superstitious element but in my opinion the common sense, the experience, and the love of the grandma is the real basis for the "cure".

I have a variation of the cure that works the best for me. Instead of the Estomaquil I substitute a wee dram of Jack Daniels (or two or three). Hey! Stop clucking your tongue. It works for me!

It's a Hummdinger!

2010-08-23T18:43:00.005-05:00

The video below is a real eye opener. It was produced for PBS by a filmmaker named Ann Johnson Prum. It is a behind-the-scenes look at how she captured some amazing pictures of hummingbirds. I thought I knew a lot about hummingbirds but I just threw all that I thought I knew out the window. You will too after you watch this video.

The Gates of Hell

2010-08-17T20:23:00.002-05:00

The other day I wrote a piece called Ramadan Kareem about the Islamic Holy Month of Ramadan which began on August 11th, just a few days ago. Ramadan is the ninth month of the Islamic lunar calendar and it moves around the solar based Gregorian calendar a little bit each year until it begins a new cycle again every thirty-three years. It just so happens that this year the seventh month of the Chinese lunar calendar began at almost the same time as the start of Ramadan. This Chinese month is called the "Ghost Month" and the highlight is on the 15th day of the lunar month which this year is Tuesday, August 24 on the Gregorian calendar. On that day the Chinese will celebrate a special festival called the "Hungry Ghost Festival" during which which all spirits and ghosts from the nether world are allowed to roam the land once again in search for food to appease their hunger. In a similar manner to Mexicans on the Day of the Dead here in in Mexico, the living Chinese relatives leave offerings of food and other items for the spirits their dearly departed.

So, what's the problem? Well, I'll tell you. During the month of Ramadan the Muslims believe that the gates of Hell are slammed shut and the Chinese Taoists and Buddhists believe that during Ghost Month the gates of Hell are flung wide open. Just imagine the frustration that this must cause the Devil when the two different ethnic lunar months coincide like this. Should he plan to close Hell for remodeling or should he beef up security for the extra traffic? It makes me realize that every day some religious entity somewhere is celebrating something. How can anyone be expected or even willing to keep track of it all? Don't worry...there is an answer to that too. Like just about everything else these days the market will track it. One only need follow the money. The people who raise and sell goats seem to have a handle on it better than anyone else. The fact is that goat meat is eaten by more people on earth than any other meat and much of it is used for religious feasts. Approximately sixty-three percent of the world’s total meat consumption can be credited to goat meat and it is estimated that eighty percent of the world’s population eats goat as a staple in their diet. Your neighborhood goat seller has to know when the religious feasts are held so that he or she can meet the market demand. We eat a lot of goat meat in Mexico. I wrote about it in a piece called "Got Goat?" and another piece called "Birria de Cabrito" and one called "The Road Trip".

There seem to be quite a few religious celebrations this year in August and September. In the Catholic culture we celebrate the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary into Heaven on August 15th and her birth on September 8th. Our Jewish brethren celebrate Rosh Hashanah on Thursday, September 9, through Friday, September 10th and then Yom Kippur on Saturday, September 18, Sukkot on September 23rd, and Shemini Atzeret on September 30th. The Muslims celebrate Lailat Ul Qadr (Night of Power) on September 5th and Eid-Al-Fitr (End of Ramadan) on September 10th . There are no doubt many more diverse religious holidays that I failed to mention out of ignorance and for that I apologize but it is worth noting that each of these feasts is dear to some culture's heart and we should be aware of that and respectful. So, if you want to know who is celebrating what in your neck of the woods just ask your friendly neighborhood goat guy. In the meantime, the more you know about what other people believe the more you will be contributing to world peace. Everyone should have the right to worship freely. In the famous words of Mexican President Benito Juárez:

"Entre los individuos, como entre las Naciones, el respeto al derecho ajeno es la paz".
Among individuals as among nations, peace is the respect for the rights of others.

Ramadan Kareem!

2010-08-11T20:25:00.004-05:00

Today is the start of "Ramadan", the holiest month in the realm of Islam. Devout Muslims all over the world begin thirty days of fasting during which they will refrain from eating, drinking,and sexual activity from dawn until dusk. The intent of the fasting is to learn patience and humility, and to offer prayers for the forgiveness of sin. It is a time of reflection when Muslims seek a deeper awareness and association with God. It is said that during Ramadan that the gates of Heaven are flung wide open, the gates of Hell are slammed shut, and the Devil is chained up for the duration.

Ramadan is the ninth month of the Islamic lunar calendar and it is the month when the Holy Qur'an was given to the Prophet Muhammad according to the tenets of Islam. Fasting during Ramadan is also part of the Five Pillars of Islam, the other four being Testimony of Faith, Multiple Daily Prayers, Charity, and Pilgrimage to Makkah (Mecca). Since the lunar Islamic calendar is out of sync with the solar calendar by eleven or twelve days Ramadan does not begin on the same date each year but the Ramadan cycle does repeat itself every thirty-three years.

"Okay", I hear you asking, "So why would a Christian, or a Jew, or a Hindu, or a Buddhist, or a Confucian, etc., concern himself or herself about a Pillar of Islam and why would a Muslim care to know about other religious rites?". Well, almost two years before the fight for independence in Mexico began, a man named Abd al-Qādir al-Jazā'irī was born on September 6th, 1808 in the land of Algeria. Like Miguel Hidalgo, the first hero of Mexican independence, Abd al-Qādir (or Abd el Kader as he is also known) became the first hero of Algerian independence. He became very famous during his lifetime and gained the respect of many world leaders including Abraham Lincoln. In fact, a group of farmers in Iowa named their town "Elkader" Iowa, a name which it still proudly bears today. Abd el Kader was a conciliator and earned the name "Prince of Brotherhood" for his efforts in bringing Christians and Muslims together in peace and understanding. He said that all religions brought to us by the prophets from Adam until Muhammad rest on two principles, praise for God, and compassion for all His creatures. He discovered that as human beings there are more things that unite us than divide us and a mutual understanding of each others religion and culture is essential for universal peace on Earth.

I believe that many of the problems between Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, and Christianity (not to mention the sects that divide each religion) are born out of ignorance and fear and not actual fact and the solution is education and dialog. President Barack Obama put it this way. He said "All of us must remember that the world we want to build and the changes that we want to make begin in our own hearts and in our own communities". The traditional Muslim salutation at the beginning of Ramadan is "Ramadan Kareem" meaning "Ramadan is Generous" and the reply is "Allahu Akram" meaning "God is more Generous". On this day I want to reach out to every Muslim in every part of the world and say;

Ramadan Kareem! May Allah bless you in this holy month and accept all your prayers and good deeds. Āmīn.

Let me hear a little melody

2010-08-03T20:26:00.004-05:00

I learned today that Mitch Miller just died at the ripe old age of 99. He is known as the Father of Karaoke. Those of you who are under the age of 55 probably won't remember him but when I was a kid he was very popular in the early 1960's. He had a television show on NBC called "Sing Along with Mitch" and it was a great favorite with my family, especially the older generation. Each week we would tune in and sing along with Mitch and his gang. The program would generally start out with a theme song about a melody. It went something like this:

Let me hear a little melody,
A simple singing song
And I sing along.
Get me here a melody
A simple singing song
And I'll sing along
Loud and strong,
I want to sing along.
Get me here a singing song
And I'll sing along.

I wrote the words to the song from memory so someone please correct me if I'm wrong. I've had that bottled up inside me like a lost fart for almost fifty years.

Mitch Miller's sign-off theme that always ended abruptly just before the credits was an adaptation of the chorus of a song recorded in 1954 by Henry D. Haynes and Kenneth C. Burns who were otherwise known as "Homer & Jethro". Their song was called "The Crazy Mixed-Up Song" and it was sung to the music of John Phillip Sousa's "Stars and Stripes Forever". The Mitch Miller version went like this:

Be kind to your web-footed friends
For a duck may be somebody's mother
Be kind to your friends in the swamp
Where the weather is very, very damp
("damp" rhymes with "swamp")
Now, you may think that this is the end...
WELL, IT IS!

I think that either knowingly or unwittingly Mitch Miller encapsulated the last two lines as his epitaph:

Now you may think that this is the end...
WELL, IT IS!

When he got to Heaven I am sure that everyone was "all smiles", as Mitch used to say, and ready for a sing-along.

Throw it out the window!

2010-07-31T20:18:00.003-05:00

In English there is actually a specific word for the act of throwing someone or something out of a window. The word is "defenestration". The word originally meant "political dissent" but in the year 1618 a couple of high government officials were thrown from a castle in Prague which started the Thirty Years War and the incident was called "The Defenestration of Prague". Ever since, the word defenestration is synonymous with getting pitched out of a window.

Many years ago back in the Dreamtime when I was a Boy Scout we had a favorite campfire song called "Throw it out the window!". We would divide into two groups and to each group or "side" a leader was appointed. The song was a competitive game and the object was for one side to sing a nursery rhyme verse and append to it a chorus of "Throw it out the window". Then the other side would sing a verse from a different nursery rhyme and repeat the chorus. The side that could sing the most nursery rhyme verses without repeating one was the winner. Yours truly was often picked to be a leader and my side won more often than not because I really enjoy singing and worked hard at winning this competition. The song would go something like this:

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
To get her poor dog a bone,
But when she got there the cupboard was bare,
So she threw it out the window, the window,
The second story window,
Hi-Lo, Lo-Hi
Throw it out the window.

Jack be nimble Jack be quick,
Jack jump over the candlestick,
And throw it out the window, the window,
The second story window,
Hi-Lo, Lo-Hi
Throw it out the window.

So, how would we say "Throw it out the window" in Spanish? If you look up the word "throw" in your Spanish / English dictionary you will see several Spanish verbs that are synonymous with "throw" and the most common are "lanzar", "echar", "tirar" and "aventar" so which one do you use? Well, if you have noticed while driving in Mexico there are signs along the highway that say "No tire basura" which literally means "don't throw trash" but might be better translated as "Don't toss your trash". The verb "tire" (TEE-ray) is the third person singular (polite form) of the present subjunctive tense which is also the third person singular imperative. You don't need to remember the names for the tenses. I jut "threw" that in for my friend Dale. Now here is the "kicker". To say "Throw it out the window" in Spanish you would generally say "Tiralo por la ventana". I can already hear you asking, "Why tiralo and not "tirelo"? Because in the second person singular imperative you say "Tira" for "throw" and "No tires" for "don't throw". Now you ask, "Well how the heck am I going to remember all that?". The answer is that you aren't. That's why you need to memorize the phrases in their entirety so that they will pop into your brain in the correct form when you need them.

Well, then what are the other verbs for? In general you would use "lanzar" to mean "launch" as in "launch a spear" or "to pitch" as in "to pitch a baseball". A baseball pitcher is a "lanzador". We normally use aventar" in the sense of "throwing" or "tossing" something to some person as in "Aviéntame eso" or "Toss that to me". Note that "aventar" is an irregular verb and the stem changes from "avent" to "avient". The verb "echar" on the other hand has more of the sense of "move something from one place to another or from one condition to another." You might want to "echar" someone "a la fregada" or "al carajo" meaning "send them to hell". The phrase "echar de perder" combines the verbs for "throw" and "lose" to mean that something like meat, fruit, or vegetables are spoiling. It would be really worth your while to spend some time investigating and studying the different uses of these four Spanish verbs...and remember...NO TIRE BASURA!

Move it on over...

2010-07-26T20:44:00.003-05:00

The other day at a fiesta when I was watching some young people sorting out their seating arrangements so as to situate themselves "boy-girl-boy-girl I was reminded that it is important to learn the subtleties of different Spanish words. There are several ways to ask someone (or tell someone) to take a different seat and depending upon what words you use you can sound polite and supplicating or you can sound harsh and bossy. I have several examples which I divided into the"Scoot over!" category and the "Move your butt!" category. In the "Scoot over!" category I use the verbs "recorrer" and "mover":

¿Te puedes recorrer un poco?
Could you scoot over a little.

Recórrete para alla por favor.
Scoot yourself over there please.

Muévete tantito porfis.
Move over a little please. (Note: The word "porfis", pronounced "POR-fees", is slang for "por favor".

In the "Move your butt!" category I use the verbs "hacer", echar", and "mover".

¡Oye! Hazte para alla.
Hey! Put yourself over there.

¡Oye Güey! ¡Échate pa' alla!".
Hey man! Get yourself over there! (Note: The word "pa" is short for "para".)

¡Muevéte!
Move!

Myself, I favor the verb "recorrer" as in:

Juan, recórrete alla y siéntate con Maria por favor.
John, please scoot over there and sit with Mary.

The phrase "scoot over" reminds me of an old Hank Williams song called "Move it on over" that he wrote in the year 1947 just as I was being born into this world. It is a song about a guy who comes home late and finds out that he has been locked out by his wife and he is forced to sleep in the dog house with the dog (again). Since I have had to sleep in the dog house a few times in my illustrious career I can somewhat relate to this song.

"Move It On Over"
(Hank Williams 1947)

Came in last night about a half past ten
That baby of mine she wouldn't let me in
So move it on over (move it on over)
Move it on over (move it on over)
Move over little dog cause a big dog's movin in

Shes changed the lock on our front door
My door key it don't fit no more
So get it on over (move it on over)
Scoot it on over (move it on over)
Move over skinny dog cause a fat dog's moving in

This dog house here is mighty small
But it's better than no house at all
So ease it on over (move it on over)
Drag it on over (move it on over)
Move over old dog cause a new dog's moving in

She told me not to play around
But I done let the deal go down
So pack it on over (move it on over)
Tote it on over (move it on over)
Move over nice dog cause a mad dog's moving in

She warned me once, she warned me twice
But I don't take no one's advice
So scratch it on over (move it on over)
Shake it on over (move it on over)
Move over short dog cause a tall dog's moving in

She'll crawl back to me on her knees
But I'll be busy scratching fleas
So slide it on over (move it on over)
Sneak it on over (move it on over)
Move over good dog cause a bad dog's moving in

Remember pup, before you start to whine
That side's yours and this side's mine
So shove it on over (move it on over)
Sweep it on over (move it on over)
Move over cold dog cause a hot dog's moving in.

The ties that bind...

2010-07-25T16:27:00.007-05:00

I had a wonderful time yesterday. Gina and I attended the Quinceañera celebration for her first cousin Silvia's daughter. The young lady's name is Jackeline Gómez Hernández and we call her "Jackie" for short. I have known her since she was five years old and she was such a tomboy that I have been amazed and delighted to watch her grow up to be a beautiful blossom on the tree of life. The festivities began at the church where all of her friends and relatives joined with her in celebrating a mass in her honor. After mass she was driven all over the neighborhood in a car decked out with flowers, ribbons, and balloons and all of this time the driver (my wife Gina) was tapping out 1-2, 1-2-3 on the horn in the pattern that is sacrosanct to Mexican quinceañera celebrations...

BEEP-BEEP!
BEEP-BEEP-BEEP!

Later on her family had a big party for her in a very nice rented hall where we all danced to a live band and made merry. Suddenly the thought struck me that there are so many little girls that I once held in my arms as babies who will soon become my dancing partners at their quinceañeras. I am very happy to know all of these young ladies and their counterparts, the young gentlemen. There are many, many kids here who call me "Tio Bob" (Uncle Bob) even though we are not related. In England they have a phrase that goes "and Bob's your uncle" meaning "there you have it" or "you're all set". If you are a young person living in Irapuato, Guanajuato there is good chance that "Bob" really is your "uncle".

In the past I have been a little cranky about having to attend so many baptisms, confirmations weddings, funerals, birthday parties, anniversaries, baby showers, saints days, and novenas, etc. Now, however I am learning to realize that these things are important, especially in Mexico, because they are the little ties that hold society together. I hope that God grants me the privilege of attending many more of these events and that He blesses Jackie while HE and I both watch her leave adolescence and grow into womanhood. Wouldn't it be nice if I could dance with her daughter some day at her own daughter's quinceañera. Hmmm...I don't know. I think that might be what the test pilots call "pushing the envelope".

Do you know where Hell is?

2010-07-17T11:57:00.003-05:00

In one of my favorite musicals of all time "Paint Your Wagon", Lee Marvin sings a song called "A Wandering Star":

Do you know where Hell is?
Hell is in HELLO!
Heaven is in good-bye
Whenever it's time for me to go.

I sing that same song sometimes after attending a wedding, two baptisms, a baby shower, and a saint's day party all in the same week. Seriously though, where do you suppose Heaven and Hell are located? I am pretty well convinced that Hell must be located right here on Earth because the Devil always seems to be close at hand. I think that Heaven is close by too but for a different reason and in another way. I am proposing that Heaven is in another dimension where the people in Heaven can see us and hear us but we can't hear or see them...except when we are dreaming or when we are troubled and praying. The concept is not as far fetched as you might think.

A long time ago I read a book about dimensions called "Flatland, A romance of many dimensions" written by Edwin A. Abbott in 1884. I highly recommend this simple little book as a starting point for anyone wanting to think some more about dimensions. I recently went back to read it again and you can find a copy on the Internet at http://www.geom.uiuc.edu/~banchoff/Flatland/. The narrator of the story is a square who lives in a two dimensional world named "Flatland" that is populated by various geometric shapes whose castes are determined by the number of sides they have and all aspiring to be a true circle but never quite achieving it.

One day square has a dream about visiting a one dimensional world named "Lineland" where everything is in a straight line. The people of Lineland are straight lines of various lengths according to their caste and the longest line is the King who is exactly 6.457 inches long. Obviously the people cannot reproduce through touching because their positions in line are fixed and so conception is accomplished through sound. The people have openings at each end of their bodies that emit sounds. For the males one end admits a tenor sound and the other emits a bass sound. I personally find this to be reasonable because I too have openings at both ends, one of which emits a tenor sound and the other a bass. The women of Lineland emit a soprano sound from one end and a contralto end from the other. Thus males and females mate through harmony, frequency, and amplitude. In his dream the square tried without success to make the king of Lineland see anything that is outside the realm of Lineland.

In his dream the narrator is then visited by a sphere from three dimensional "Spaceland", which he cannot comprehend until he sees Spaceland for himself. After the square's mind is opened to new dimensions, he wonders about the theoretical possibility of the existence of a fourth (and a fifth, and a sixth) spatial dimension. He also dreams about a place with one dimension called "Pointland". He discovers that Pointland has only one inhabitant who is the King and who perceives any attempt at communicating with him as simply being a thought originating in his own mind. The square recognizes the connection between the ignorance of the populace of Pointland and Lineland and his own Flatland regarding higher dimensions.

In traditional mathematics and physics, the dimension of a space or object is more or less defined as the minimum number of coordinates needed to specify each point within it. However, there is an emerging theory of physics called "String Theory" that has opened up the possibility that extra dimensions, and parallel universes actually exist. So, now you see what I'm getting at. I think that Heaven is around here somewhere and when we "die" we pass from this dimension to the next just like walking through a door. I believe that some animals like dogs, cats, elephants, and dolphins are aware of at least one other dimension that they can see and we can't. I'll bet that someday we are in for a big surprise. You don't believe me? Don't be such a square!

You Bet Your Life

2010-07-11T20:20:00.005-05:00

Words are wonderfully fascinating things. Besides continuously trying to increase my vocabulary in English and Spanish I subscribe to a number of "Word-of-the-Day" lists in various languages including Mandarin Chinese, French, German, and Portuguese. No...I have no real intentions of becoming fluent in those other languages but it only takes a few minutes a day to learn something new and it is full of surprises. I am reminded of the old Groucho Marx show, "You Bet Your Life!". At the beginning of each show Groucho would "secretly" share a common word with the audience and if a contestant later said the word, a toy duck resembling Groucho with a mustache, eyeglasses, and cigar in its mouth dropped down from above from the ceiling with a $100 bill for the lucky winner. My Dad smoked cigars just like Groucho and he loved that show. I have some very fond memories of watching the show with my Dad.

Today the word on the German vocabulary list was "sich beklagen" meaning "to complain about something". My Dad often used the phrase "Quit your bellyaching" by which he meant "Quit complaining". To say "Quit complaining" in German you could say "Beenden Sie beklagen". That makes me wonder if "bellyaching" might actually come from the German word "beklagen".

The other day the Brazilian Portuguese list had the word "empregada" meaning "maid" as in "domestic maid". In Spanish the word "impregnada" means "one who is impregnated". In the old days servant girls were often fair game for the master of the house and were sometimes impregnated as a result. I wonder if there is a connection between the Portuguese "empregnada" and the Spanish "impregnada". Hmmm...

Why God created the Devil

2010-07-06T14:26:00.002-05:00

My friend Armando Fuentes Aguirre says that God created the Devil so that people would have someone else to blame besides God when things didn’t go exactly the way folks wanted them to. Apparently it worked pretty well for awhile and people got into the habit of thanking God for all the good things in their lives and blaming the Devil for everything that went wrong. By and by the Devil realized what had happened and he became very burdened by the fact that the sole purpose of his existence was to receive blame and he asked God why he had to receive all of the blame and not have anyone to share it with. God thought that was a reasonable question and said, “You know, Lucifer, you make a good point. I guess that is because I made you so smart to begin with. People are naturally reluctant to blame me and so they blame you for every little thing they don’t like. To be fair about it, the people ought to have a choice on whom to blame without any fear of retribution”.

God thought about this for what would seem like several centuries to us but for God it was only a few milliseconds and He came up with a brilliant solution. He created the Government so that people would have something else to blame besides the Devil. Well, things went fine for awhile and people were content to praise and thank God for all the good stuff and blame either the Government or the Devil when things went wrong according to how they were so inclined. By and by, however, the Government decided that it didn’t like being thrown in with the Devil by association because someone in the Government was always being blamed when things went wrong. The higher up in Government you went the more likely you were to receive all the blame. After all, the Government is supposed to be "of the people, by the people, and for the people"…right? Shouldn’t the same people who elect you to public office share the blame?

About a hundred and fifty years ago the Government found a way to ameliorate its blame problem and decided to charter Corporations. The Corporations consist of individual investors and other Corporations and the Government, not being as smart as the Devil but almost as crafty, arranged it so that no matter what a Corporation does, the individual investors are free from responsibility and thus free from blame and other than losing their money they can wash their hands of any culpability just like Pontius Pilate. You can blame the Corporations all you want but nothing can ever happen to them because they are mostly just smoke and mirrors. Things get shifted around a bit when something goes wrong but they really never die. This is because it just so happened (and to this very day nobody really knows exactly how) the Government gave to the Corporations more rights than to individuals. Some say that this was in return for a promise of campaign contributions and other monetary considerations. Anyway, the result of all this is that these days, in addition to having the Devil and the Government to blame, we have the Corporations to blame, and we can personally avoid blame altogether…unless perhaps we are a Pope, a Potentate, a President, a Prime Minister, or a World Cup Fútbol Coach.

Words, words, words, are made to love...

2010-06-23T20:36:00.002-05:00

I noticed with interest some comments by observers at the recent World Cup game between Uraguay and Mexico who said that even though both countries speak Spanish, the Uruguayan players and fans and the Mexican players and fans could hardly understand each other. This is because the people of Uruguay and Argentina both speak a dialectal variant of Spanish called Rioplatense Spanish or Río de la Plata Spanish that is mainly spoken in the areas in and around the Río de la Plata basin region between Argentina and Uruguay. If you happen to go to one of those countries and want to communicate effectively you will need to add several thousand new words to your vocabulary that are used there but not very much in other places. It is the same thing with idiomatic expressions or what are commonly called "modismos" in Mexican Spanish.

Even if you stick to one Spanish speaking country in particular it is a real challenge to acquire sufficient vocabulary and idiomatic expressions to be able to jump in and hang on to every conversation. In my case, because I am classified as a technician or "tecnico", I have had to acquire a technical vocabulary as well as a conversational or "social" vocabulary that is specific to my industry. Am I finished yet? Nope! The quest never ends but it is easier and more rewarding if you work at it with a plan. When aquiring a basic beginner's vocabulary remember that you need to learn words from many categories. Here are just a few:

Parts of the body
Clothing
Toilet articles
Parts of the house
Furniture
Kitchen implements
Food, such as meat, vegetables, fruit, dairy products, baked goods, condiments, beverages, etc.
Seasons
Weather and climate
Directions
Relatives such as children, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, etc.
Animals
Birds
Fish
Insects
Trees
Flowers

The list goes on and on. You need to systematically make your own categories and make it a point to learn as many words associated with each category as you can. Once you have a fairly well established vocabulary of about ten to twelve thousand words you can become a word hunter like I am. By the way, if you need a way to keep track of how many words that you know I suggest the "Corn Flakes Method" that I wrote about awhile back and that you can access by clicking here.

To become an effective word hunter and vocabulary builder you must be ruthless and never let new words or idiomatic expressions escape your grasp. I always carry a pen and some three by five inch blank index cars in my pocket upon which I scribble down words and expressions as soon as I see them or hear them. I will even interrupt someone to get them to write a word or expression for me and explain what it means. You simply must do this or the opportunity will fly by and you will be condemned to be wandering around in the fog of uncertainty forever. I write down words from many sources including billboards, television commercials, newspaper articles, instructions on pill bottles, and every other conceivable source. Let's see what I have in today's catch!

The first item is an idiomatic expression that you might never guess if you didn't ask someone. The expression is "¡Patas para suando son!" Literally it translates as "Paws (or hooves) for when they are". It means "Feet don't fail me now" or in other words, "Scram, let's get out of here" or "Run for it!". There is an even stranger version that is very common locally where I live and it means more or less the same thing: "¡Patas para que te quiero!" or "Feet for that I love you!", meaning "Run for your life!". If you don't know what expressions like this mean don't just let them pass by you but stop immediately and write them down or you will never get past first base. You don't have to use them yourself but just knowing what they mean will be the difference between being included in the conversation or just somebody hanging around the fringes. At the very least you will know when to smile or frown. As for how expressions like this originated don't even ask because nobody really knows.

The next word on my cards for today is "carcacha" which means "a junk automobile".

The word "embosada" means "ambush".

"Guantes de carnaza" means "work gloves". If you look up "carnaza in your dictionary, however, it will probable say that "carnaza" means "bait" as does its variation "carnada". Technically "carnaza" is the side of an animal skin that goes against the flesh or in other words, the "rough" side. Guantes de carnaza are gloves with the rough leather on the outside.

A "cárcamo" is a pit or sump from which water is pumped. A sump pump is called a "bomba de cárcamo".

Be careful! The word "cárcamo" with an "r" is not to be confused with the word "cáncamo" with an "n". A "cáncamo" is a bolt with a ring on the end such as an "eye bolt". Not only that but what we call in English a "screw eye" like that which is used to latch a wooden screen door, in Spanish is called an "armella" pronounced "ahr-MAY-yuh". Now it just so happens that the name of my dearly departed mother is "Armella" which is spelled the same but pronounced "Ahr-MEH-lah". There is actually a Blessed Armella who was a saintly servant girl in England long ago and who is listed in the registry of Catholic saints. So how did Saint Armella become a screw eye? Go figure!

Anyway, that wraps it up for today. Now go out there and collect some words!

¡ Hasta la Próxima !

How the heck can I wash my neck ?

2010-06-13T10:54:00.003-05:00

It ain't gonna rain no more, no more,
It ain't gonna rain no more.
So how the heck can I wash my neck,
If it ain't gonna rain no more?

"It Ain't Gonna Rain No More" was one of my father's favorite songs. It was written and recorded by Wendell Hall in 1923. As a matter of fact it was the best selling record of that year and it sold over two million copies. Wendell Hall was born in 1898 in Kansas and started his career in Vaudeville. He played both the xylophone and the ukulele and later became famous for his work with the ukulele. Wendell was known as both "the red-haired music maker" and the "pineapple picador". In those days when radio wasn't yet very developed people made their own entertainment and the ukulele and the banjo were very popular. When I was a kid many of my older relatives used to reminisce about playing in banjo and ukulele bands and how much fun it was. The servicemen of World War II grew up listening to music written by Wendell Hall and his songs were great favorites. I think my father knew about one hundred verses to "It Ain't Gonna Rain No More" and he and his army buddies probably made up most of them.

For the past month I have been searching the sky for rainclouds and humming my father's old song. As it happens every year I was getting a little desperate for a nice soaking rain. Last week we had a few light evening showers in places but they did little more than settle the dust and raise the humidity. Very early this morning, in the "wee" hours on the Feast of Saint Anthony, we received our first soaking rain. The the birds and the bees and the grass and the trees are all smiling and so are the farmers. It is like taking that first swig of iced tea after a long and grueling tennis match in the hot sun. Thank you, God, for the rain...and for everything else too!

I now have a clue.

2010-06-12T11:29:00.002-05:00

Have you ever wondered about why Gringos and Mexicans have such a different perception of time? Today I was browsing Mark Frauenfelder's blog "Boing Boing" and I saw a You Tube presentation by Professor Philip Zimbardo on "The Secret Powers of Time". This presentation is very well done. It makes a lot of sense and I plan to watch it a number of times until I grasp the whole thing in its entirety and can explain it to others. I am sure that you will enjoy it. This will also be especially helpful to anyone with kids or grandkids who is interested in the future.

Any day now...

2010-06-01T06:53:00.000-05:00

May is beyond a doubt the hottest month in the Bajío (bah-HEE-oh) region of the central highlands of Mexico where I live and that holds true for most of the country. There is a window from the middle of May through the middle of June when the rainy season begins and things start to cool off quite nicely. The rainy season isn't like a full blown monsoon but we generally have some nice late afternoon or evening showers a couple times per week for several months and everything turns very green. This is the season when the reservoirs fill up so that we will have sufficient irrigation water during the winter dry season. If it doesn't rain by June 24th, which is the day celebrating the birth of St. John the Baptist, it is a bad omen indeed. In the old days in Mexico many people bathed completely only on that day of the year. Often times this was a ritual bathing because Saint John is the patron saint of water. He is not only the first cousin of Jesus but according to Jesus Himself, St. John was the greatest prophet (Matt. 11:9-11) and John shares the distinction with Jesus and Mary of being the only three individuals whose birthday the Catholic Church celebrates in the liturgical calendar. The date is very close to the Summer Solstice on June 21st and the birthday of Saint John marks exactly the halfway point in the year until Christmas.

The majority of the crops in the Bajío region are watered by irrigation water from the reservoirs. There are some brave souls, however, who practice dry land farming by necessity and these are the folks to watch if you want to know when the rains will start. If they plant their seeds too soon the the bugs, and birds, and field mice will eat the seeds before they sprout or perhaps they will will sprout and then die from lack of water. If the farmers wait too long to sow the seeds the rains will come first and then it will be too muddy to go into the fields and plant except by hand and that is a very messy and time consuming process. On average, the dry land farmers get a really good crop only about one out of every three years and so for them it is a big gamble to get it right. This week I noticed that the dry land farmers have started sowing their crops. That means that the rains should be here in about ten days. It will be interesting to see how close they come to hitting the mark. I am betting that we will soon be singing in the rain. It is time to repair your "paraguas" (umbrella) and parch that hole in your "techo" (roof).

My guardian dear...

2010-05-29T14:06:00.003-05:00

When I was a little boy and even today now that I am a big boy, when saying my nightly prayers I always include the "Angele Dei" or "Prayer to One's Guardian Angel". I am sure that you know it but in case you don't, it goes like this:

Angel of God, my guardian dear,
To whom God's love commits me here,
Ever this day, be at my side
To light and guard, to rule and guide.
Amen.

If you are Latin buff you can say it in the original Latin like this:

Ángele Dei,
qui custos es mei,
me, tibi commíssum pietáte supérna,
illúmina, custódi,
rege et gubérna.
Amen.

This prayer is about one thousand years old. It was written in the 11th Century by Reginald of Canterbury who was an English monk and poet. The Ángele Dei is found in Reginald's "Life of St. Malchus", about a famous hermit who was a friend of St. Jerome who lived in the fourth century. You remember St Jerome don't you? He was the one who first translated the Hebrew and Greek portions of the Bible into what we call "The Latin Vulgate Bible". He and St. Malchus were also really big on celibacy of which I must say that I am not a big fan. More to my liking is St Anselm who was a friend of Reginald and who was the Archbishop of Canterbury from 1093 to 1109. He was also a very smart man and is known as the father of scholasticism. Why do I like him so much? Because he was the archbishop who openly and bravely opposed the Crusades for which we are still reaping negative consequences to this very day.

I just happen to be the "padrino" (godfather) of a little four year old Mexican boy named Ian so I take special interest in guardian angels these days. As a matter of fact little Ian says a prayer to his guardian angel every night but the Spanish version of Ángele Dei is slightly different than the English version. It goes like this:

Ángel de mi guarda dulce compañía,
No me desampares ni de noche ni de día.
No me dejes solo que me perdería.
Amén.

Dear guardian angel my sweet companion,
Do not forsake me night or day.
Do not leave alone lest I get lost.
Amen.

In case you are interested, guardian angels have their own special feast day on October 2nd. Don't forget to take your GA to lunch on that day. Go ahead and order for your angel. Hint, hint...I think they like angel food cake and just in case your angel isn't hungry you can always eat theirs for desert.

Guardian Angels - Don't leave home without them!